One of the Best Days

Dear Baby Waider + Little Brother Too,

Recently I learned that one of my beloved aunts had fallen ill and last week she died. Her name was Nancy Halter or as my cousins all called her growing up Nancy Halter #1. She and your Grandma Halter had the same name! Grandma Halter was Nancy Halter #2. My cousins lived all over the place. We were all relatively close considering how far apart we lived. We would get together at my grandma and grandpa's house and play our butts off. Even if we hadn't seen each other for YEAR we immediately picked up where we left off and played until we dropped from exhaustion, dripping with sweat, and sore from laughing and playing. 

One set of cousins we saw pretty regularly growing up were Lindsey, Bobby, and Billy. They lived in Minneapolis and growing up we were pretty close. They would come to visit and we even went there a couple of times. Aunt Nancy was BEAUTIFUL. She had fantastic hair, makeup, clothes, and nails. Everything about her made her fun to be around. She was funny. She told great stories. 

It's funny because when you're growing up you spend a lot of time around other kids rather than around the other adults. My memories of the adults, when I was a kid, were telling us we had to go home or driving us places. We didn't really hang out with the adults. When I moved to Wisconsin to be a counselor at a camp for the summer I decided to spend a weekend visiting my aunt, uncle, and cousins. I thought back to that as I was remembering my time with my Aunt Nancy. 

I went to Minneapolis in the summer of 2000. I had to print directions out on Mapquest. I did not have a cell phone and there was no Google Maps at that time. I would have NO idea how to do that now because I'm so accustomed to my phone telling me where to go. I had just found out that I had landed my first job teaching third grade in Whitewood. 

Aunt Nancy had some plans for us and interestingly, that Saturday is one of days that is etched in my memory. It was just one of the best days. Nothing was overwhelmingly exciting. It started out with my cousin Bobby and I going with Nancy to downtown Minneapolis to serve the homeless. As we parked and walked to the shelter I was astonished that Nancy was just marching downtown without fear to serve those who were less fortunate than her. She was dressed to the nines and her hair done offering the friendliest smiles to those she was serving or helping cook. She laughed as Cousin Bobby and I were cutting up the entire time. It was a very humbling experience, but I could tell this was something that my adorable aunt did regularly and I still have so much admiration for her.

Once we were done with serving lunch Aunt Nancy offered to take me shopping at Lakeshore Learning where she gave me $100 to buy stuff for my classroom! How generous!  We had the best time picking stuff out. She had really good ideas because she had worked at a school for years. We laughed and laughed and found some awesome stuff. Once we were done we went out to lunch and I spent the evening losing at cards to my Cousin Billy. 

There is a saying that we don't always remember what people say, but we always remember how they made us feel. Aunt Nancy always made me feel special, loved, and happy. She was just the best kind of person. It breaks my heart that her children, grandchildren, nieces, and nephews no longer have her on this earth. I can't imagine what an amazing grandmother she was. I'm sorry that I never got to see her in action. 

I will regrettably not make it to the funeral because I've missed over half of Little Brother's basketball games due to the play and having covid. This weekend he has his last two games. I just can't miss them and hope she would understand. I'm sad to miss her final tribute but so grateful to have known her and also to have the gift of sharing one of my favorite days with her. Hold on tight to memories because once someone is gone, that's all you have.

Love, 

Mom

It's Like Rain on Mother's Day

Dear Baby Waider + Little Brother Too,

Arguably one of the biggest events of 2022 for you will be the event of Cousin Lauryn's Wedding. I know it will be something you remember because I still vividly remember Super Aunt Becky's wedding in 1990?ish when I was the same age you were at Lauryn's, Baby Waider. As the rhyme goes first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage. That's been the past couple of years with Cousin Lauryn. This Mother's Day she is very pregnant and ready to become a mom. Today it hit me rather hard that this blessed event is impending. Super Aunt Becky is about to be a Grandma, Super Uncle Joe a Grandpa, and Cousin Lauryn a MOM.

I'm guessing it hit me today because it is Mother's Day. Last week, Baby Waider and I went on a bitchin' bike ride and made the plan to go riding in the Badlands for Mother's Day. I've been itchin' for an adventure so this was perfect. I planned to see Grandma Halter on Saturday and started to arrange my trip to the Badlands. Why the Badlands? Every time I suggest going there everyone says, "No." So Mother's Day is the perfect day to make your family do what they don't want to do. I woke up this morning with a migraine, a throbbing toe, and pouring rain. The Badlands did not feel like even a remote possibility. We had a magical morning at home instead. When it finally stopped raining I stepped outside a bit to try to see if it would help my migraine and throbbing toe.

Right when I stepped outside it was like I was transferred back 24 years. It reminded me of Mother's Day when I was just 20 years old. I had just moved from Spearfish, SD to the Blue Bell Lodge near Custer, SD. I was working the breakfast buffet that day. It might have been one of my first days at work. I had a light blue polo and was super excited to be working as a waitress. I remember that my Grandma came with your Grandma and Grandpa Halter. It had to have been one of her last Mother's Days. She was happily clutching a baby. Maybe it was Cousin Brook? I honestly can't remember who the baby was. It was 1998. My memory from that time is...sketchy. What I do remember from that day aside from my grandma holding a baby is that the weather was almost exactly the same as Mother's Day 2023. Rainy, cool, and dreary. You're probably wondering why I would write a blog about a day I only vaguely remember. Well, I'll tell you.

I

Blue Bell Lodge. It is a different color than it was in 1998. I was serving brunch in the White Buffalo Room which was next to the Lodge. 

I had randomly texted Cousin Lauryn the night before to chat with her about life in general and her being pregnant and teaching. It really took me back to a time in my life before the two of you were with me. I remembered thinking about how exciting it was to be waiting to have a baby. So much anticipation and excitement. With that, however, comes the crushing notion that having a newborn can be so hard. Don't get me wrong. Having a baby is awesome. It's also challenging. Sort of like being a waitress. When I was knee-deep in having two babies at once I often drew upon my experiences as a waitress to get me through some of those more difficult times. As I breathed in the chilly rainy air on Mother's Day it occurred to me that I should really pass all of this wisdom onto Cousin Lauryn...or at least the two of you for... someday. I've always said that it should be mandatory that you do a job in the restaurant business sometime before entering the real world. The amount of experience I gained from being a waitress is invaluable. 

Lessons Learned from Being a Waitress:

1. You will live and die by prep work. Don't prep your stations before the evening rush? You will be behind, miserable, and lost for the entire night. You will not make as many tips had you been more efficient and prepared. Fail to prep with an infant? You will suffer a similar fate. You won't miss out on tips, but you will miss out on general joy. Don't have diapers, wipes, Desitin, or formula ready to roll you will be lost. Run out of something and you inevitably will need it. Make sure you have it ready and on hand. 

2. When in the weeds you can only get out by accomplishing one thing at a time. "In the weeds" in restaurant speak means you are busier than you thought possible, but then you're still expected to take care of everything. You are swamped, but then you get an 8 top sat and it is yours. Your appetizers are up, but also you have a table that needs wine service. Someone is demanding a refill of Coke, but the cook just yelled, "Order up!" 

I used to longingly think about being in the weeds at a restaurant when I was in the weeds with a bawling Baby Waider. I would walk the halls and bounce with her shushing and bouncing while Mia judgingly looked on wondering how I had failed so badly at child-rearing. It seemed like you never had a fussy baby when the house was clean. The house is always destroyed. It is overwhelming. The dishwasher needs to be unloaded. You will have to load it three times to catch up on all of the dirty dishes. You haven't eaten, showered, or slept in what seems like months and your spouse is living the same experience. Baby Waider was a fussy baby and I spent a lot of time in the weeds during that time. Did I mention that you handle all of this in-the-weeds business is done with limited sleep? I remember one time being in the weeds with Little Brother, a few weeks old, and Baby Waider not yet two. Little Brother had been crying for a long time and we were trying to get him figured out, fed, changed, or whatever he needed. We lost track of Baby Waider for a moment who decided to take a bath, in her Halloween Costume, with a glowstick, and a stuffed animal. I had no idea how I was going to get out of that mess. 

Honestly, being in the weeds with kids isn't much different from being in the weeds as a waitress. First, you have to know that it will not last forever. You will get the baby to sleep, you will feed the customers, and the dinner rush does not last forever. You will eventually get to go back to prepping, rolling silverware, picking up the piles of toys, or rocking a sleeping baby. The tough times don't last forever. One plate at a time you'll get the food out and send the customers home full. With babies, I would view it the same way. Does this child need a diaper change? Bottle? To walk and bounce? Swaddle? Tackle it one thing at a time. Don't get too frazzled and keep your mind on one thing at a time while taking note of what is coming up immediately next. Also, see number 1. Being in the weeds is much easier when you have your stations prepped. 

3. Smiling through it all will help. No one likes to hear "smile" when they are swamped, overwhelmed, or frustrated. In fact, telling someone to smile can ultimately lead to the exact opposite effect. I found that when I was waitressing if I was grouchy and busy I did not make nearly as many tips as when I was cheerful and busy. The same goes for parenting. When the going gets rough try to be the calm in the storm. Try to smile. It makes others much more willing to help and be understanding. I am not sure I ever made a crying baby stop crying by smiling, but I definitely felt better. I wouldn't always smile. Sometimes I would laugh. Mostly at the dog because she was always judging me. Having a sense of humor always helps. 

4. Ask for help. As much as I hate to sometimes you HAVE to ask for help. You might need to have another server bring out your food. Maybe you ask them to bring water to your table. You might have to ask the host or hostess to take a drink order. The same is true when you have an infant. I was very fortunate to have a village around me when I had babies. Dad was fantastic. He was always willing to bounce and walk when I needed to tap out. He would sing and walk and coax and do anything and everything for a sad baby. He knew I had to do all of the feedings so he did his best to keep other things situated. When I had Little Brother he was a life saver with the very busy Baby Waider. Grandma, Grandpa, Auntie, and the Webers were so helpful all the time. I had to utilize that help sometimes so that I could in turn be a better mom. 

5. You have to do your closing work. When you finish a shift the dining room is a disaster. Sort of like the house with an infant. You will want to walk away and not do the cleaning at the end of the shift. This is tempting, but make sure you do a quick run-through at the end of the night. At the restaurant, you vacuum, wash tables, roll silverware, restock, and get everything ready for the opening crew. Spoiler alert. When you are a mom you are the closing and opening crew. Do yourself a favor and load/run the dishwasher before bed. Make the rounds in the living room and make sure toys are put away. You will be grateful to wake up to having those things done. 

6. You can't please everyone. When I was a waitress I had customers who were less than awesome. Some people are miserable no matter what you do for them. Some of them are miserable because you are having an off day and they are calling you on it. No matter the reason sometimes when you are momming no matter what you do you will have a crabby/sad baby. Sometimes you will be crabby/sad and not be at your best. Give yourself and your child some grace. You will get through it and see number 2. 

7. Keep the schedule. Do not short-change the schedule. If someone calls sick it can mean sudden death for the rest of the servers. It is so hard to make up for one component missing. Sort of like if you get an infant off schedule. Dad and I used to joke that having an infant is similar to having a Mogwai. Make one wrong move and you have a Gremlin. Don't mess with the sleep schedule or feeding schedule or you will pay.  

7. As your babies grow your jobs will change. Sort of like when you get out of waitressing and go into a different career. Children become less demanding as they get older. Gone are the days of getting up in the middle of the night. You won't have to have bottles cleaned and prepped. You won't physically be their food source. You will get more sleep and your life doesn't revolve around them. Slowly they join you in your activities. You will long for those moments of walking the halls with a crying baby just because they still fit in your arms. You will miss the endless number of feedings and the delight of a baby drifting off to sleep in a milk coma. Just like the dinner rush infants don't last forever. It's so challenging, yet so rewarding. Sort of like having a really busy night and making BANK in tips.

I was only a server during college and after my first year of teaching. Waitressing was so rewarding for me. It was like taking care of people and being immediately rewarded with money. It taught me to be a problem-solver, to think on my feet, to be patient, and to work hard. I think the same can be true of being a mom. It was much harder than being a server, but it is also so much more rewarding. Sometimes I fantasize about becoming a waitress again. The idea of making cash every single day still speaks to me! Plus I love to talk to strangers and give them travel tips and advice.

So, in the spirit of advice, I would tell Cousin Lauryn that she is in for so much joy. You will love your baby more than you thought you could love anything else in your life. During the first few months, you will inevitably feel so overwhelmed that you don't know which way is up. Ask for help and do your best. Any of us can fly down there in a jiffy. Joel will have your back and be a fantastic calming force with the baby. Draw upon the HOURS upon HOURS upon HOURS of experience you have with the children of your cousins. You know what you are doing. Relax and enjoy. You've got this. From someone who wasn't totally sold on having a baby, I can tell you that hands-down it's the best decision I've made. The days are long, but the years are short. The memories are priceless.

Remember what I told you about having a baby. If they offer you drugs you say, "YES." This isn't middle school where you just say no.  During childbirth, it is the exact opposite. Just say yes. I'm so excited for you, Joel, and your new baby girl.

That's how I ended up writing about being a mom/waitress on a rainy Mother's Day that reminded me of a rainy Mother's Day I couldn't quite remember. I think one big takeaway from the memory of my grandma so many years ago was that no matter how old you get you're ALWAYS going to be down to hold a baby.

Love, 

Mom  

Kee-FAH Part 2

Dear Little Brother, 

It is highly unlikely that you will ever forget the 2020-2021 school year. One, I debated if I even wanted to send you to school. Two, when you went to school much of the time was spent initially in masks, rows, and doing extreme hand-washing. Three, you had one of the BEST teachers I know. 

Maybe you won't remember, but dad I and I spent lots of time deliberating if we should send you to school or hunker down for the year. I was worried about sending my little babies into a germ-infested school and unsure what would happen if either of you got sick. You seemed relatively healthy, but I was still very concerned. I had lined up another gig even and had considered not going back into the classroom...I was seriously not into the thought of working in and being in a school during a PANDEMIC. I was also seriously fearful that Covid would result in an annoying flip-flop from 

I don't like the germiness of working in a school/classroom during a good year. Something that was always in the back of my head anytime I considered not going back was you and Baby Waider's teachers. You were in the BEST classrooms and I just wasn't sure I could sacrifice that year for either of you out of the fear of the unknown. Also, I felt like homeschooling was a real challenge for you. I could tell that you missed the social aspects of school and I was definitely not qualified to be your teacher. 

It was a phone call to Mr. Dschaak that solidified my decision. I've worked for him for a long time and we aren't afraid to ask each other hard questions. He asked me a question that stopped me dead in my tracks, "Are you going to do everything you can do to keep your students safe?" That seemed like a ridiculous question. Of course, I was! That's what I spent nearly all of my time thinking about over the entire summer of 2020. After I answered he said, "Don't you think that Mr. Kieffer and Mrs. Weber will do the exact same thing?" He was right. I had to trust your teachers to do the best that they could do to keep you safe. We decided to send you to school and in the end I feel like it was by far the best decision for our family.  

It was not surprising that you thrived with Mr. Kieffer. You loved absolutely everything about him and would explain in great detail everything that you did at school. Not only were you in his class, but Kitt and Frank also were in there with you. You loved to play soccer, read books, listen to Mr. Kieffer read books, and you also loved to do any sort of math. 

You thought that "Mr. Kieffer did a lot of things fun and that he was funny." That's a direct quote from you. I've said it before when Baby Waider had Mr. Kieffer and I'll say it again. He's got the magical touch that just makes him a special teacher. He's nearly always the favorite teacher when kids are asked even years later. It's not surprising because I like to be around him too. 

I am forever grateful that I took the leap of faith that was sending you to Kieffer's class for the 2020-2021 school year. You had the best time and learned so much. 

Love, 

Mom 

P.S. When you had Mr. Kieffer you had both of your counsins in class with you. I think it was fun for you and...memorable for Mr. Kieffer. 

The Show Must Go On

Dear Baby Waider + Little Brother Too,

Whenever I set out to write a blog I always regret that I haven't written more recently. This is true today because my last published post was in 2021... So much happens and we're busy people so I just need to be grateful for what I am able to get done. 

This morning I am a few weeks past arguably one of my greatest accomplishments. The greatness of this event was compounded because FINALLY, I got to share my passion with you, Baby Waider. "It's a Madhouse" started out as just a play, but resulted in a fantastic production. While reflecting on how awesome it was I am so grateful that you had such a role in this achievement.

I most likely made my directing debut sometime during the late '80s. Grandma Halter would tell you that I put on numerous weddings, plays, and dances. I started out with many different versions of "The Wizard of Oz." My obsession with that movie was next level. I wanted to BE Dorothy. I directed and starred in many shows. I might be biased, but looking back I would say those shows were terrific.

As time marched on I was obsessed with being in the Missoula Children's Theater Plays, a part of a few community theater plays, and then when I was in high school I was a part of multiple plays. I loved to be IN plays. The acting was fun. I was always cast as the villain, grouch, or tough character because of my voice and attitude. Go figure. While I loved acting in plays I was always captivated by the directors. During Missoula Children's Theater weeklong sessions, I can still remember the feedback and teaching that the directors did. They were so amazing. I was young when I did the plays, but I remember being in absolute awe by how we were able to pull together a show in 5 days. Fantastic shows. 

When I was a senior in high school I was able to take Drama II. I was excited. Going to a Catholic school we did not have the options for electives like other high school students so this was a special treat. My coursework was demanding and this was a welcomed break during a grueling year of AP classes. Mrs. Reed taught the class.  One of the most influential people in my life is probably Mrs. Reed. She was terrifying in all the best ways.  She got shit done and didn't take shit from anyone. Much less a bunch of goofy high school seniors. She told us that part of Drama II was going to be learning how to direct. This prospect was exciting to me. I have always had the gift/curse of believing I can do anything. I'll watch something and think to myself I can do that. I had directed multiple versions of "The Wizard of Oz," so this would not be difficult for me.

It wasn't difficult for me. When I read a script I could visualize every character and their every move. While I hated blocking then, and still hate blocking now it is the slow and monotonous process that brings a show to life. I learned how to take notes and blocking from the script and making just a tad better. She taught me the value of giving confidence but always finding something to work on. She was a veteran director and actor having worked many seasons at the Black Hills Playhouse. I am forever grateful for my time with her. She never told me I was a natural director, but when I got my final grade for the first semester she told me it was not a surprise that I directed an excellent play. She did also tell me (in a firm and direct way) that when you direct a play it is not common to cast yourself as the lead...You live and learn.

Mrs. Reed taught so much that year. She had an eye for theater. Every character on stage was always on point. She taught me the importance of there being no small parts only small actors. Every person on the stage helps tell the story. If one actor is out of character it takes the believability out of the entire scene. She gave me a passion for theater because it is something that humanity has done since the beginning of time. Entertaining audiences with a live performance is special. It is something that is not duplicated. You may have a recording, but it is not the same as it was in that theater. Actors on stage memorized their lines and practiced the show to the point of performing it flawlessly in front of hundreds of people. They're so exposed on stage. Any error made is permanent. There are no redos. It's exhausting, terrifying, and an incredible rush. When audiences leave a good performance they have just received the gift of watching fellow humans give them a part of themselves and their craft. 

When I student taught I remember being at a planning meeting with my cooperating teacher and the fourth-grade team. They uttered a sigh that I only understand now that I am a 20+ year veteran of the profession. They were tasked with the responsibility of putting on a character trait play for the whole school. They really seemed disgusted at having to plan this. While 21 year-old me did not understand their disgust (who doesn't love to put on a show?) I most definitely get their disgust now. One more thing to think about. I gave them an incredible gift. I told them I'd handle the character trait performance. Remember, I think I can do anything? There were some raised eyebrows and undeniably some skeptical scoffing, but I was used to that. I went home and wrote my own version of nothing else, but "The Wizard of Oz." I decided to conduct auditions and rehearse daily after school for a month or two." I quickly learned that one Dorothy was too much for fourth-graders I divided the role and had twins who ended up in Oz teaching kids about one of the character traits. I'm pretty sure that I am the only writer/director to have Dorothy played by both a Dorothy and a Don. The play was a screaming success. 

I continued to do a yearly play with every class that I taught. As I said it was my passion. When I moved to a much larger school 8 years later they were evaluating the budget and decided to get rid of Missoula Children's Theater plays because of the cost. I, again, volunteered to put on a show. Do a play with K-6 grades? No problem. Remember my, "I can do that" attitude? Sometimes it bites me in the butt. Again, I did a rendition of "The Wizard of Oz." There is just something about the ruby slippers I cannot shake. It was a smashing success. Those poor kids performed for a dinner theater 4 times. Once during a raging blizzard. Dad made videos and sold them, we had t-shirts. It was FANTASTIC. Everyone did a terrific job and I am still so proud of that show. I now teach with one of my student directors from that show and the main characters are all grown up and out of college. 

Then, I got pregnant...I knew I did not have the energy or bandwidth to put on a show. My whole heart and soul go into a show. I couldn't do that exhausted and barely surviving. (I was a VERY dramatic pregnant lady.) I decided to retire from directing plays in 2011. My retirement was not announced and to my knowledge, no one really even noticed I stopped doing plays. I had pretty much continuously done plays for 12 years. I was so focused on surviving motherhood so I didn't miss it at all. My parents and your dad had never missed a show, but they too had a new focus now. Children give you permission to immerse yourself in something that is not yourself. I would not have taken on something that pulled me away from the baby/toddler versions of you for any amount of money or excitement. 

As they say, in the blink of an eye you both grew up. Baby Waider was in 4th grade and Little Brother was in 2nd grade. Mrs. Johnson, our assistant principal last year, approached me and said that she wasn't going to be the director of the Stagebarn Middle School play anymore because she was too busy. How she got my name, I can't remember. I wanted to immediately say no. I have two kids, two jobs, and am way too busy to add something else. Something made me pause. That something? Getting to show the two of you my REAL passion. What if I can direct you two in a play? I talked it over with Dad and we decided to take the plunge. I say we because Dad is really immersed in the play as much as anyone. He helps me sort and organize the audition rubrics. He's a sounding board for struggles and difficulties. He picks up all the slack at home. He cooks dinner and drives you two to all the places. He comes to all of my performances and videos. So when I said I wanted to bust out of retirement he was supportive. 

Last year was pretty magical. Despite getting covid. Not having directed a play for 11 years it was clunky at first. Rehearsals were tough. Middle schoolers didn't like me as much as elementary kids, and what was worse they didn't like anything really. :( It was a steep learning curve. I am forever grateful to my high school directors. Tabatha and Ashlyn helped so much and completely ran production which is something I had no clue about. The show was a success. The first performance wasn't just good, it was excellent. That exhilarating feeling was back. As I left the stage the last night of the show I remember saying, only 10 more months until we get to do this again. Only this time I was DEMANDING that I get an assistant. I did get my assistant and your aunt, Katie accepted the challenge. Her theater knowledge was limited, but she did help me with multiple plays. I'm not sure how I did the play last year without her. 

Turns out 10 months fly by. While I had covid and was directing the play last year I also got to do interviews for a 2nd-grade position at our school. Miss OB, as you both call her, mentioned something about coaching and I revealed that I was the drama coach at SMS. Somehow once she was hired she conveyed to me that she wanted to help me with the play. I was reluctant... I am a CONTROL freak and most of the time I can't find someone to match my level of intensity or crazy or see the importance of my overall vision. Miss OB matched that and so much more. Turns out we're even crazier together!

So we had Auntie taking on the lead with production and Selfridge helping her out. Two highly organized planners against two people flying by the seat of their pants. We were ready to take on the world. This play was a humungous undertaking. The cast was 40 actors at a minimum and we extended it to 55 students. We had a production team of around 25. Auditions were grueling. There were so many strong actors and actresses that it was really hard to cast the roles. I am forever grateful that it was four minds working together because we could not have done a better job casting this show. Auntie also held me accountable for making sure that production had a voice and was involved in all aspects of the show. 

The two of you were in your second year of play-watching. Basically, for two hours at the end of your school day, you went to practice at the middle school. I THINK you will look back at this time fondly. Playing with your cousins, binging on Nintendo, playing hide and go seek, and messing around with other teachers' kids. Baby Waider was not involved with the play at all last year. This year you were fully roped into being a major role in producing the play. You read parts for LOTS of sick actors. Sometimes you filled in for as many as 4 characters in one day. You also followed the script to give lines. You recorded new blocking for me and helped people memorize your lines. Sadly, Auntie capitalized on your love for art and snatched you up to work in production. Once you left us for painting you never returned. 

My whole point for coaching drama was so my own children would be a part of the play. I am so grateful that Auntie took you in as a helper in production. You worked hard and had a great time. The older kids took you under their wing and taught you so much. While I didn't get to direct Baby Waider in the play I did get to direct Finn! It was the best. He took on a really fun role and it was so fun to develop his craft. 

The second year was even better than the first. I think it helped that we had FOUR adults plus a few extras the day of the show working together. Grandma Halter came the day of the show where we put the set together and helped get costumes fitted and steamed. Our friend Shelby helped Miss Selfridge with sound and getting what we needed at the Community Center. It was a team effort and it was amazing.  Baby Waider you were in your element helping Auntie decorate the stage and getting everything all set up. Miss OB and I were in our element chewing people out and Miss Selfridge had a blast playing music and doing the sounds. I cannot ever thank everyone for all they did that day for me and the cast. We put on one hell of a show. The actors did a terrific job and it was such an amazing experience. As we cleaned up one of the production students was working with me and he said, "Mrs. Waider I am so sad that this is over." I agreed and reminded him, "We get to do this again in just 10 months. That's no time at all."  

I usually try to talk about what I learned from these experiences I blog about. This is why I've had a hard time finishing. I learned so much. I learned that it is okay to allow people to help. I always think I HAVE to do things on my own. This experience reminded me that sometimes it takes a team to make something big happen. I am so glad that I got an assistant director who was amazing, thank you, Katie, and had two wonderful friends, OB and Selfridge give so much of their time to help out. OB has me beat in character development. It was truly a memorable experience and something I am still so incredibly proud of. Next year I promise I won't be as much of a control freak! I know I was a pain in the ass at times and I am so glad that my friends stayed by my side. Also, surround yourself with good people. Part of being successful is surrounding yourself with people who share your vision and care about you. Without this group of people helping me this production would not have happened. Lastly, I learned that sometimes you just have to laugh. No matter how hard it got we could always laugh. 

Here are some pictures from both performances and a couple from rehearsals. 

Both daughters worked REALLY hard to fill in as directors when I had to go talk to production. 

The pain of blocking. 

Auntie, Trestin, and Selfridge working together. 

Our amazing stage! So much hard work done by production, Auntie, and Baby Waider! The set was breathtaking. 

Final performance before the dress rehearsal! Selfridge got us a mic and it was amazing. Love this pic for so many reasons! This is the last time I saw the performance from the front. What a great group!

Baby Waider getting to put makeup on Finn.

BESTIES!

I LOVE this girl. Miranda you made me so proud.

Whole Cast. Wow! We had so many kids. 

Flowers from Dad and Little Brother. 

Tired, but grateful. 

Baby Waider bowing with production and acknowledging lights and sound.

Auntie had the best idea to bring Kitt and Little Brother up on stage because they worked hard too. 

So thankful that these two showed up in my life! 

Well, looking through the pictures made me UGLY cry. I am so grateful for this experience and for sharing it will you, Baby Waider. It was hard work, but it was so worth it. I am going to end this with a quote to help us remember next year.

"Some people want it to happen. Some wish it would happen. Others make it happen." 

                                - Michael Jordan

Now it's only 8 more months until audition day! :) 

Love, 

Mom

 

 

50 Hikes in 2021

Dear Baby Waider + Little Brother Too,

Probably one of our biggest accomplishments as a family of four to date is completing 50 hikes in one year-all four of us together. I admittedly take on a goal, project, job, or challenge with blind (possibly stupid) optimism. Fifty isn't even that many! We could do a few hikes a weekend. We could be done by June. We launched 2020 with a hike. On that hike, it was you, Baby Waider, who thought we should try to do a hike each week in 2020. I said that would be 52 hikes. Your response was let's try to do 50 hikes in 2020! I was game. Hiking is one of my absolute favorite past times. I love being an observer or guest in the wilderness. Hiking has always been one of my favorite ways to recharge, unplug, and refocus my energy. I want both of you to also find joy in this activity so this was the perfect way to encourage that! Plus we were going on an amazing PNW vacay so it would be the perfect way to ensure that we got out to see the wilderness there.

2020 was...2020. We did not make it on 50 hikes. We did not make it on our amazing PNW vacay. We did buy a boat and two new campers, but we did not do the hiking we had intended. It was a rebuilding year. 

Enter-New Year's Day 2021. We went on a hike on a gorgeous day. I had downloaded the hike on AllTrails and like I often do in the hills...We got lost. We were on the completely wrong trail and did an almost 5-mile loop. We were not dressed for winter weather and it was getting dark. Thankfully we made it back to our car but did not make it to the summit we had hoped to see, which was Boulder Hill. We decided that the next day we would venture out again to that hike. It was a breathtaking bluebird day. We decided that 2021 would in fact be our year to get those 50 hikes. 

The funny part about social media is that it really holds you accountable for your own goals. I announced our challenge and people began following our journey. Again, my initial thought was that 50 hikes just aren't that many hikes. In some ways I was right and in some ways, I was so so wrong. 

Regrets

The only regret I have about this challenge is that I did not do better record keeping of mileage and hike location. Lots of our hikes are done where there is no cell service. I would get home, forget to post the hike, and then I would no longer have the details. My phone would die or connection would get interrupted on our hikes so AllTrails would not properly record the hike. I thought once I posted on Instagram it would be easy to go back to the posts and see how many we did and it wasn't. I wish I would have been better about logging our hikes and jotting down a few lines about the hikes. Some hikes were definitely more memorable than others. In good ways and in bad ways. 

Takeaways

I had no idea what this challenge would do for our family. What I expected were fun memories in the forest with one another. What resulted was so much more in all the best ways. We started out with semi-whiny kids, a neurotic poodle, and two adults who were determined to make the best of this adventure. What we ended with were two unstoppable kids, an amazing trail dog, and two adults who were outpaced by their children at ages 10 and 8.  You both started out enthusiastic about this challenge. Challenges are fun to talk about. For the first few hikes, you were so excited. But then, it got hot. As we began to train for the PNW the hikes got increasingly longer. The paths were more strenuous and sometimes crowded. We all four, well, probably not dad, had times where we wanted to quit or give up in the middle of the forest. Our feet hurt, we were thirsty, we couldn't do one more hill, we had fallen and scraped our knees, or a beloved stick had been dropped by accident resulting in sheer sadness. There were tears, stern talking to, and fit throwing.  The thing about being on a long hike is that there really is no exit strategy except to go back or finish. There is no one bailing you out. Unless you can somehow call a helicopter to rescue you (believe me on Black Elk Peak I thought about this) you have to get yourself out. 

Perseverance is absolutely necessary. I had no idea that that was what you would gain from this experience, but you absolutely did. Dad and I did not teach you perseverance. You developed it on your own. I hope that it is something you are able to draw from in your future as a way to help you get through the not so easy times in life. 

Persistence. Some of our hikes were admittedly easy. Under a mile. On a boardwalk. Reading informational signage. Others were incredibly grueling. 9.68 miles was our longest hike. Some hikes had over 2,000 feet elevation gain. They pushed our bodies and our minds. But we set a pace, completed the hike, and refused to give up. The thing about accomplishing something is that it teaches you that you can accomplish more. We did 3 miles? Guess what? That means we can do 4. If we can do 4 surely we can do 6. Success begets success. If you take something one step at a time you can accomplish anything. The persistence you both developed from this experience will be invaluable for the rest of your life. 

Experience. Travel has always been a big goal for your dad and I. We loved traveling before you and traveling with you now is one of our greatest joys. You can see a lot by driving through a place. You can even have lots of experiences stopping by the side of the road and hitting the high points. In fact, you can see more traveling that way. But, when you head out on a hike THAT'S where the experience becomes an interaction. National Parks are crowded. Sadly overly-crowded. You know what's not crowded? Trails. About 1 mile in you lose 90% of the people. It is then that you really get to know a place. Who or what lives there? What does that look like? You can contemplate how old the trees are. How many other hikers they've seen. It's a magical moment to be more than a visitor, but really a part of the forest.  

Togetherness. We all live, eat, sleep, and work together. Prior to this, we've never really had it be part of a  challenge to be together. I couldn't believe how much it helped us to rely on one another. Laugh and joke with one another while also leading and supporting one another. It started with Dad and I leading and caboosing the trails. After a particularly horrible hike, Baby Waider decided it was her time to be the leader and the pace-setter. It was amazing to watch you take on this role and really get us to a place where we were doing 3-4 miles per hour which made is easier for us to complete longer hikes. The only rule we had for our hikes is that the four of us had to be there for the whole thing. It is so easy for us to get caught up in working or working on stuff around the house that one of us will stay back while the other goes with the kids. This made that more difficult because it didn't "count" as a hike then. It took each one of us to make it happen. That accountability was good for me and a reminder to stop every now and then and take time to reset with my family. 

Out of our comfort zone. It is such a cliche saying. What is a comfort zone anyway? I felt like nature was my comfort zone. What I did not expect was how much this challenge still pushed us out of our comfort zone. Take that experience and chance when you're there. The hike is rated strenuous and the reviews say it's impossible? Determine that rating for yourself. You might surprise yourself. Afraid your body won't make the trek? You'll pass out before you die. So many times we were out of our comfort zone. Traveling to unknown places and literally in the middle of nowhere. 

Ferris Bueller summed it up best. Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. These hikes forced us to slow down and really absorb our surroundings. There's nothing quite like pushing your body to the limit, seeing an amazing summit, and then sitting back and reflecting upon that accomplishment. Doing that 50 times this past year changed me. I can't wait for the next challenge to come...222 miles hiked in 2022. Phew. That's gonna be a tough one, but if there's one thing I learned this year we're up for the challenge. 

Fifty Hikes

1. Flume Trail Loop

2. Boulder Hill

3. Osprey Trail

4. Spoke Creek Cabin Loop

5. Bear Butte 

6. Alta Vista Drive

Badlands:

7. Castle Trail

8. Saddle Pass

9. Door Hike

10. Fossil Bed Trail

11. Yellow Mounds

12. Notch Trail 

13. Window Hike 

Pierre

14. Okobojo Point

15. Farm Island

16. Scruton Mountain 

17. Tamarack Loop

18. Black Elk Peak

Olympic National Park

19. Sul Duc Falls

20. Lover's Lane (hike to hot springs)

21. Tide Pools at Salt Creek

22. Hurricane Hill

23. Marymere Falls

24. Storm King

25. Salmon Cascade

26. Rialto Beach to Hole in the Wall

27. Ancient Groves

28. Olympic Discovery Trail

29. Devil's Punchbowl

30. Tide Pools at Rialto

31. Second Beach

32. Hoh River Trail

33. Spruce Nature Trail

34. Hall of Mosses Trail

35. Cape Alava 

36. Skyline Trail

37. Trail of Shadows 

38. Narada Falls

39. Grove of the Patriarchs 

40. Nature Trail of Ohanapecosh

41. Sturgis Reservoir

42. Lost trails Hike at Center Lake

43. Grace Coolidge Fishing Trail

44. Crow Peak

45. Stratobowl

46. Christmas Tree Hike

47. Robbinsdale Dog Park

48. Dinosaur Park/Skyline Trail

49. School of Mines Hill

50. M Hill

Hikes we forgot to count...

51. Big Cedar 

52. Tree of Life

*I got a little cocky and combined hikes in Washington. This year I am going to be much, much better at recording the hikes and making sure I have accurate mileage. 

Proud is not a strong enough word for how I feel about us completing this challenge. I am not only proud but also profoundly grateful for the lessons learned through this journey and the time we all spent together. 

Love, 

Mom

Photo Documentation

PNW: A Journey not a Destination

Dear Baby Waider + Little Brother Too,

Whew! We just finished perhaps the most fantastic journey I ever could have imagined or hoped for. I say journey rather than vacation because a vacation implies leisure and recreation. What we did actually felt like so much more. A journey means to travel from one place to another. Our journey to PNW was a journey that none of us will forget.  I've debated how to document this journey for both of you and I decided that dividing it into the trip there, locations, and trip home will be the most logical. You are both considerably older than the last time we travel so you will likely even have your own memories of this fantastic voyage.

Four States in a Day, Three Bridges the Next

Dad is a road warrior. I say this because he will drive 24 hours straight and not bat an eye. When we began to plan our trip we decided our first stop would be Missoula, Montana on I-90. Our original destination was North Cascade National Park so it made our first day of driving 12-14 hours and our second day 7-9 hours. Shortly before our departure time, we decided to cancel that portion of our trip. When we do a park we don't just visit. We experience, hike, and explore that park. Several of the things I had hoped to do there were closed due to a fire. I felt like it would be better to go to that park when we could actually experience the park to the extent we wanted to. Thus, that modified our trip. On our first day we decided to make it to Spokane, WA. That portion of the journey took us 15 hours? 16 hours? We went through South Dakota, Wyoming, Montana, and Washington. It took a long time. The next day we had planned on a 6 hour trip to Sul Duc Campground. Road construction, traffic, and long stops made it closer to 10 hours. So, 25 hours to get to our first campsite. 

The first two days of our journey were long. I spent much of the time finding gas stations that were close to the interstate, had diesel and would be easy to get back onto the interstate. Your dad towed our much longer fifth wheel and kept the entire 50+ feet of the total vehicle between the lines. The truck did multiple mountain passes. Up one side and down the other. We sped past many overheated trucks with trailers grateful for dad taking the time to prepare our truck for this voyage in 110-degree heat. We ate snacks, and I possibly came upon a dead body while walking Mavis in Butte, Montana. I still do not have confirmation if the person was asleep or dead, but it terrified me! You both got pretty continuous iPad time and played on your Nintendo Switches. I was proud that you also spent a good amount of time working on your reading, writing, drawing, and math. 

When we arrived in Spokane you two got to experience your first RV park! Dad and I were thrilled to not have to level the camper and you both got to swim at a POOL that was ON the property. I gave the cautionary tale that our next campground would probably be the absolute opposite of that RV Park and I was correct in the best possible ways.

People often ask me what Mavis does in the truck....Here it is. She sleeps on the floor. 

The second day of travel continued to be pretty grueling except we added the big city traffic of Seatle, Renton, and Tacoma. We got to go over THREE bridges in ONE day!

Mountain passes for days. 

One of the three bridges

We arrived exhausted at Sul Duc Campground at around 5:30 in the evening.

Sul Duc Campground

We arrived at Sul Duc after hours of winding, narrow roads. It really is in the HEART of Olympic National Park. My first impression of the campground was small, tight, and lots of tents...We reviewed the map and dad began down the road with our most definitely oversized RV. As we drove into the campground narrowly avoiding trees and an abundance of RVs randomly parked on the sides of the road a man appeared with a big, bushy beard on a vintage Raleigh ten-speed. He waved dad down and dad opened his window.

Man on the Bike: Hi! You're in the wrong campground! People with bigger rigs             typically stay at the place down the road, with power. 

Dad: No, we're here. Site 24. 

Man on the Bike: Umm...I guess maybe I can see that. Guys have done it before.             You good at backing in? 

Dad: Eh? Shrugs his shoulders. 

Man on the Bike: You'd better be. 

We nervously crept along the road and discovered that our campsite was plenty big enough for us...BUT the angle was absolutely crazy. We started taking stabs while also trying to avoid trees, branches, and all that jazz! Man on a bike comes over to help us. Sort of calmly he says, "You are here for the next 10 days? You gotta figure this out. You won't find a place to stay here if you don't!" Thanks for keeping me calm guy on a bike. 

After a couple attempts, the guy on a bike came up with the idea to try and get in backward. He closed off the campground road, dad somehow turned our rig around, I fell into a "devils club" plant that put hundreds of stickers into my leg causing it to swell and itch, and before we knew it we were parked in our dreamy campsite for the next 10 days. I'm not sure I've ever been more relieved to be in a camp spot. You both disappeared into the wooded campground with giant trees, logs, mushrooms, berries, and ferns. As you two explored and made new friends dad and I got set up, drank a much-needed beer, and got to meet the neighbors who were more than curious about the crazy South Dakotans who shook up the whole campground that evening. I was concerned because as we pulled into the spot we noted that the tree above us had dead branches that needed to be trimmed. I took care of that by standing on top of our 14 ft tall camper and used our power saw to trim the branches. In my mind, all I could think was that people are seeing this crazy woman from South Dakota. Of course, she would be trimming branches in the forest on top of her RV. All I really needed to do was shout "I LOVE MY FREEDOM" once I was done. 

Thankfully I was able to befriend all of the people around us. I tried to offer everyone a beer or seltzer as an offering for disrupting the peace. Not one person wanted my ultralight seltzer or ultra light beer from Michelob. Imagine! Anyway. We met two nurses next to us who were thrilled to talk hiking trails, kayaking, and camper camping versus tenting it. They were not eager to help me with my leg injury due to falling into a thorny plant. They recommended I go to the camp host for help. They were, in fact, off duty and not there to help me. We also met a nice couple who were tent camping with their small toddler who was obsessed with coming into our camper. His parents were so creeped out by that offer and he never did get to see the camper. I had a good laugh remembering the years spent camping with a toddler being potty trained. They had a potty chair outside their tent and made a nearly constant trek to the bathrooms. Our campsite was between two other campsites so it made our three campsites were like a mini culdesac. We had such a good time with (almost) everyone in that spot. 

While we stayed at Sul Duc we did a variety of amazing adventures. Our first stop was the Sul Duc Falls hike. Gorgeous. Inspiring. By the time we decided to do that hike it was so late in the day we knew we would not have a spot to park at the trailhead so we rode our bikes the two miles to the trail. After that, we completed the 3-mile hike to the amazing falls. We were surrounded by giant trees and people who shared a love of the national parks with us. 

The next day we attempted Hurricane Ridge. We had heard that it was important to get a sunny day for that view and the hike up Hurricane Hill. It was too cloudy so we decided to head to the Salt Creek Tide Pools. We weren't there right at low tide, but we got the amazing opportunity to see all kinds of sea life, seastars, possibly an octopus, and adorable fish. It was such a surreal experience. It was something I had no idea even existed! At ages 42  & 43 dad and I were like little kids again experiencing the seashore. You both were in full discovery mode and it was just the most amazing experience!

Thankfully the next day we were able to head to Hurricane Ridge. Breathtaking is an understatement. We went to the famous Hurricane Hill Hike. It is relatively short. Twoish miles, but we were there at 8:30 and we had to park at the overflow parking lot which added a half-mile to our trek. Making it close to five miles. The top of this hike was so amazing. You can see the Strait of Juan de Fuca, Mount Olympus, Mount Baker, and Port Angeles. Pictures tell the story, but experiencing it is something else entirely. The absolute euphoria of seeing all of this beauty after climbing two miles up a hill is something that I recommend to everyone. 

Once you arrive at the top you can see Strait of Juan de Fuca.

Our campground was close to Sul Duc Hot Springs. The hot springs were established before the national park. I am typically anti sharing hot water with other people. To me I would not bathe with another person, why would I share hot springs with them? The friends that you both made told us that it was a "cool" spot with a fun pool. They were going to go to the hot springs. I decided to check it out. I wanted to be more open to things this trip so I decided to suggest that we go to the hot springs... It was not our favorite place on the trip. It was expensive, smelly, old, and awkward. We chose the same time to go to the hot springs as every other couple on their honeymoon did as well. Love was in the air... After soaking in the less than sanitary hot water and freezing our a$$es off in the "pool" we decided to head into the restaurant for dessert. I felt like we needed to shower because...we needed a shower. I can't speak to the experience the boys had with their locker room, but I tried to prepare Baby Waider for the locker room. I said people might be naked because not everyone covers up in locker rooms. Baby Waider was mortified, but we did get showered and managed to touch as little of the locker room as possible.   Once we got out of the terrifying, dirty, smelly locker room Dad and Little Brother sadly informed us that they had sold out of dessert...We  hiked back to our campsite vowing that we would not be making another trip to the hot springs. 

This is the only shot I have of the Hot Springs area and this is an adorable General store we went to. 

Cleaned, relaxed, and loose from our trip to the hot springs we set out the next morning to tackle some more hiking. We started out going to Marymere Falls. Easy, fun hike to some beautiful tall falls. On the way to the falls, we saw the trailhead for storm king...Storm King was a pretty legendary hike referred to in many Pinterest posts, websites, books, and blogs. I had read that it gave you an amazing view of Lake Crescent, BUT a landslide had taken out the top of the mountain so you had to climb ropes to get to the top. The hike itself was pretty short, only 2.1 miles to the top. I had not really looked up the elevation gain, but how much could that really be? We ran into a lady who told us that she planned on the hike being pretty grueling and told us we probably wouldn't be able to do it...A sure-fire way to make me want to try it!

Both of you were THRILLED with the prospect of climbing ropes at the end of the hike. So excited that you drug your old mom and dad up over 2,000 feet to get to the end of the maintained trail. We were EXHAUSTED. We made decent time getting to the top. The end of the maintained trail *looked* like it might be okay so we went forward for a bit. It quickly became clear that this was not a trail for kids who are 9 and 7.

End of maintained trail. :( 

I went ahead to check out the trail and there was no margin for error.  One misstep and it would be a LOOONG fall. Not okay. So, we reluctantly turned around with two angry and disappointed children. You both vowed that once you were 18 climbing the Mount Storm King was the first thing you were going to do. I will in fact join you when you are that old! It was just too much for our family this year. We ran into several people who confirmed our children were much too young for that adventure, but that it was SUPER impressive that they made it as far as they did. As we were near the trail end we met another family with kids the same age. We asked them if they made it to the top and they agreed that the kids were just too young. We met two adults who said that the end of the hike was so terrifying they couldn't even enjoy the view. The lesson of that trek was that the top of the mountain is different for everyone. We weren't there to conquer the mountain. We were there to conquer ourselves. We made it up 2,000 feet in 2 miles. We got to see a breathtaking view of Lake Crescent and as hikers set an astounding pace and learned the importance of supporting each other. It was a grueling hike, but will undoubtedly be one we never forget. 

Lake Crescent and then beyond the mountains in the Strait of Juan de Fuca again. 

EXHAUSTED, but we did it!

That afternoon and evening dad and I needed to work. :( We were going to be gone so long that I still had to work a bit each week at reduced hours as a way to keep my job, travel for a long time, and not work so much. Dad was preparing a course and also taking a class so we needed wifi STAT. I became frantic because I was not able to find a decent cell signal to be able to work and read my email. For some reason, we saw some berries to pick (one of our favorite activities in Sul Duc) and viola we stopped and had cell service. We decided to head back after a shower to do some work. We were literally working on the side of the road. A few people stopped and asked me where dispersed camping was (I happily gave them directions) and I was able to get all of my hours in for the week! It must've been a strange sight. Some lady with a laptop working on the side of a forest service road. Hey! Ya gotta do what ya gotta do! 

Working some WGU!

Ancient Groves Trail

Saturday brought one of my favorite days of the trip! Cousin Chris, Leigh, Sophia, and Jack visited us! We met at an aquarium downtown Port Angeles, had a charming lunch and shakes at Granny's, and ended the day at our lovely campsite where we had a BBQ. We had so many laughs, told stories, shared hikes, and caught up after not seeing each other for several years. The following morning we ate a big breakfast, had a laser tag battle, and went to Lake Crescent to swim and hang out. We wrapped the trip where it began. Shakes at Granny's. Granny was out of milk so we had to settle for sundaes. The highlight of the trip for me was probably not the highlight for Cousin Chris. His drone went rogue! Sophia had to hike through the water to get the drone and pull it out of the sky. Chris tried to power the drone down and it actually attacked him! So many wonderful memories were made that weekend and we are hopeful they can join us on more adventures. 

We loved Port Angeles.

Epic laser tag.

Beautiful trip to Lake Crescent 

Granny's!

The Sul Duc area wrapped up with another trip to Salt Creek for Tide Pooling, the viewing of hundreds of seastars, a trip to the visitor's center, a hike at Madison Falls, a seafood lunch, a jaunt down Elwah Valley, a visit to the Devil's Punchbowl with Mavis, and swimming at Lake Crescent. I was so terrified to swim in the lake because it was so clear and cold. It turned out to be a totally amazing and refreshing experience. 

SO MUCH TO SEE THIS DAY! This was the lowest tide we had for our entire trip. 

Madison Falls and Elwa Valley

Port Angeles day antiquing and eating seafood. 

Spruce Trail, Devil's Punchbowl, and Lake Crescent

Mavis on the Discovery Trail. She loved it so much! 

Berry picking and dessert creation.

Having wrapped up and thoroughly explored the Sul Duc area it was time to pack up and move to the beach. You both will probably remember me ugly crying as we left that campground. The truth is that we met some of THE BEST people at that campground. Our camp host, the man on a bike, was actually named Nolan. He was the best. He taught us how to find berries, told us stories about the area, and gave us good life advice. He really got me to stop stressing and slow down. I'm a nervous traveler and I want to see all the things. I want my children to see all the things. He gave me the advice, "Hurry less worry less." It really struck me. Slow down and enjoy. Nolan had chosen a life with less responsibility. In so many ways I am jealous of his simple life. He lives in a renovated school bus. He runs a campground. In other ways, I am glad that I have been given amazing opportunities for lots of responsibility in my life, but I had the luxury of taking three weeks away from all of that. Nolan helped me take that all in. In those 10 days at Sul Duc I think that it really pushed me to unplug and engage with my surroundings. What I noticed with all of us is that we were very comfortable being in the boonies. We were an hour away from anywhere. We were surrounded by giant trees and had a beautiful big space to stretch out and enjoy the forest. The campground really restored my faith in humanity. 

Quileute Oceanside RV Park 

We left Sul Duc the same way we came. Backward and slowly. We headed towards the coast. We were nervous about our next campground because it was actually an RV Park. We've spent a good amount of our camping career avoiding RV Parks. We love the ambiance of a good old-fashioned forest service campground. We stumbled upon the Oceanside RV Park while looking for two nights in a campground because I thought I had skipped a night of reservations. It turned out that I did not skip any nights, but Oceanside had an opening right on the ocean. Mora, our forest service campground, was not on the ocean. It was a short drive from it. We canceled our sites in Mora and decided to roll the dice on the RV Park.

  

Oceanside was IN a beautiful place. Right on First Beach with amazing views of the Pacific Ocean. The RV Park itself was not beautiful. It was a gravel parking lot with sites JUST wide enough for your camper. You were right next to your neighbor. Feet away. We were across from a line of port-a-potties, there were random people driving through at all hours of day and night, and it was nearly constantly damp, foggy, and cold. BUT, it was the perfect launching spot to relax by the ocean, watch the sunset, see whales, and explore other beaches in the area. 

Once we arrived in Oceanside we took in the ocean and sunset. The general store sold kites and I can see why. It was so much fun to fly kites on the beach. You also built sandcastles and loved the powdery sand that was as soft as baby powder. The following day we headed to the iconic Rialto Beach and hiked to the Hole in the Wall. There were hundreds of sea stars to view, tide pools, and many many people. Despite the vast amount of people we still enjoyed a 6-mile hike over the sand. 

This is a little side-story. I met this lovely lady who took a picture of our family. She was pretty salty because she had come to hike Hole in the Wall by herself because her family didn't join her. Little Brother of course stole her heart and it immediately reminded her teenage son who refused to join her on the hike. She had tears in her eyes as she gave me my phone back and reminded me to enjoy these days. I didn't need the reminder. I can't say that you kids annoyed me even one time on our journey. However, she reminded me to watch a little more closely. I watched as Little brother carefully chose only the smoothest rocks and snuck them in his pockets because he wasn't sure he could take them from the beach. I watched as he admired the vastness of the Pacific Ocean and walked along the beach. That made me a little misty. These days we had were so precious. For that lady's sake, I hope her son joined her on at least a couple of hikes. 

This beach was glorious

I'm forever grateful to that lady for taking this picture. 

The following day we did another beach hike to Second-Beach. The tide was not very low by the time we went to Second Beach, but that did not stop us from wading through the frigid ocean water to get to the island where there are thousands of sea stars. We stayed a bit too long and dad actually had to carry both of you over the ocean water river to the safety of the land bridge! 

Despite receiving mediocre reviews about the Hoh Rainforest I really wanted to go. For one, we still hadn't spotted a Banana Slug and I thought it would be the perfect location to find one, second, it is the whole reason I wanted to go to Olympic National Park because our reading series in second grade features a story about the Hoh Rainforest. We TRIED to follow the golden rule of National Parks which is getting to the location as early as possible. Sometimes we arrive before 8:00 AM. We were going to do the Ozette Triangle, but when we woke up it was rainy (again) and the rain looked pretty widespread so we turned right instead of left and headed to the Hoh Rainforest. We were planning to arrive around 9:00 AM which is still early, it was rainy which is a good time to visit, but it was a weekend. Things seemed to be smooth sailing because we encountered little to no traffic. So when we saw the sign for the Hoh Rainforest we decided to stop for a photo. Probably 9-11 cars zoomed past us while we took our photo. It wasn't long before we realized that stopping for that picture cost us a 30-minute wait in the car because even though it was only 9:00 AM there was a line to get into the Hoh Rainforest. We had heard 2 or 3 groups of people tell us that the Hoh Rainforest was not worth the wait. Drought and terribly high temps had taken a toll on the delicate ecosystem that is the rainforest.

We started the day out pretty salty. We had waited to get in, waited to park, and once we got in it was crowded. Thankfully, Little Brother was thrilled to find a salmon stuffed animal, and Baby Waider was ecstatic about the possibility of seeing a slug so we were energized to hit the trail. It was hot and humid by the time we really got going. We were so fixated on seeing a Banana Slug that we weren't even that excited to be on a hike. We hiked to the creek and saw baby salmon, but no slug. We hiked back to the rainforest and spotted a peculiar tree with bright orange mushrooms. Much to our surprise inside the trunk of that decaying tree was a bright green Banana Slug! Excited was an understatement. At that moment we all became pretty infatuated with the Hoh Rainforest.  We continued to hike through the moss-filled forest that smelled like citrus and wet grass. It was really gorgeous. We saw more slugs and several babbling brooks. 

Sadly, our final hike through the "Hall of Mosses" was crowded and annoying with people who come to the hot spots of the park and hurry through. These groups of people are not avid hikers, which is fine, but oftentimes they don't follow the common rules of hiking, like staying on the trails. Thankfully we survived and headed out of the rainforest waving to the nearly 100 people in line (we counted) and headed to a wonderful outfitter where we actually found our sizes in souvenir sweatshirts. We wrapped that day up by picking up Mavis, hiking to the largest cedar tree in Washington, and viewed the "Tree of Life" through heavy fog, wind, and rain. We rewarded ourselves with subpar ice cream from the Kalaloch Mercantile. 

Cousin Chris had given us several good pointers for our trip and one thing that had stayed with us was his recommendation to see Cape Alava. His words were, "it's out of your way, but well worth it." Out of our way meant a two-hour drive one way. UGH. The day after that we had to drive seven to get to Mount Rainier! We decided to take the trek despite the distance with our fingers crossed that it would be worth the long drive. Since we had such a long drive we didn't have time to do the nine-mile hike of the whole triangle so we had to pick one trail to do. We debated with other hikers and among ourselves and decided on doing the Cape Alava portion. We made the 3-mile hike in a record 60 minutes. That's our best time to date. Hiking at sea level has its advantages. 

Cap Alava was utterly magical. The trail was littered with slugs, wildflowers, and berries. It started out lightly raining which added to the ambiance and that smell! It is unlike any scent I've come across in my life. When we arrived at the coast we could hear seals barking and saw a GINORMOUS eagle, bald eagle, crane, crabs, and the list goes on and on. We had a picnic snack and found sea glass. It was one of the best hikes I've ever done and we had a blast on the eerily calm, but rugged coast. 

Little Brother was unaware that the long drive to Cape Alava was going to result in a 6-mile hike. We're not sure if he wasn't listening to the plan, was in denial of the plan, or if he wanted to bargain for a snack trip after the hike. Whatever the reasoning was Little Brother and dad decided that after our hike we would go to a gas station for a snack after the hike. A fact that Little Brother reminded us of every quarter mile of the hike. We wrapped up our hike, met a YouTuber who is walking from coast to coast, went to the bathroom, and found the most charming little general store we've ever seen. If traveling through Washington taught us one thing it was that a store called a General Store=High Prices. The store was spendy, but quaint with a delightful owner and wonderful snacks like Chico Sticks and Zingers. It was a magical day that filled our hearts with even more love of rainforests, the coast, sea stacks, and the Pacific Ocean. 

We returned to Oceanside to say our goodbyes to our incredibly close-in-proximity neighbors, grab a shower, and hit the hay so we'd be ready to begin our slow trip back east with our first stop being Mt. Rainier. That evening the fog/rain/mist cleared for the first time in three days which gave us the most breathtaking sunset and fantastic waves.

Cougar Rock, Mike & Vikki, and Elkamp 

We knew that we were heading toward a difficult situation at Cougar Rock. The trailer maximum for the campground was 27 feet. Our fifth-wheel is 35... We have fudged it before with our old camper. It was 25 feet and we could easily fit it into a spot for a 17 foot trailer. See, we had measured our camper and knew that as long as we could hang the back of the trailer over the back of the campsite we only needed 26 feet. We had practiced at several sites of different sizes and tightness at Center Lake. The spot we had booked at Cougar Rock was for a 21-foot trailer and our camper was always over the maximum length for the camper by 8 feet. So we went into this endeavor with a healthy amount of skepticism. I usually have a back-up plan going into these siutaitons, but I figured that we would find a way to make it work. We just had to get there before dark so we could work it all out. I just had to watch for dad to be sure that he didn't hit anything and we would find a way to get it into the spot. 

We arrived at Cougar Rock and it was hot and after 5. The camp hosts greeted us at the entrance of the campground and told us where our site was. He did not say much but he told us which loop was ours. We made the tight turns around gigantic trees and arrived at our spot. Behind us was the camp host yelling at us that we were over the length of the campground. I told him we were aware, but we wanted to try to fit. He obliged. We developed a plan and I started guiding dad into the spot. I watched as dad went over a rock that looked pretty tall. I tried to stop dad before he went down, but the camp host said  that dad would be fine. He would make it, he just had to go slowly. Sadly, the trailer started down the other side of the rock and just as I yelled stop the landing jack on the rear of the camper crashed into the very rock he was going over. Thankfully, I got him stopped before both wheels went over the rock because I'm not sure what would have happened if he kept going. The only thing that happened was a bent foot on the jack. Phew. By some miracle dad got the camper backed over the giant rock and got the truck and trailer back onto the road to give it another try. We did get the camper into the spot with absolutely no room on either side of the camper to open the slide and no room to park the truck. We were also terrified to try and get it out. Hot, exhausted, annoyed, and covered in dirt we left Cougar Rock defeated. The camp host only told us 10 times that our camper was too big for the campground. The iconic perfectly located campground would not fit our rig and we would have to make a longer commute into Mt. Rainier National Park. 

I feverishly began calling and pleading with any RV park that would answer the phone, which wasn't very many. I got a lot of answering machines or messages that the park was completely full. I was getting frantic with our giant trailer and no place to park it that was closer than 2 hours from the park. I remembered as we were driving into the park a house that had a sign that said, "camp here." I remembered the place because they had a big "Black Lives Matter" sign on their barn and I knew that that was a place with people with who I would align. 

Dad got gas and an absurd amount of snacks at the gas station and rather than trying to drive the truck and trailer around the tiny town I told him that I would "run" to the house that allowed camping. I did just that, in my Birkenstock slides, nonetheless. I arrived at the house (about half a mile away) out of breath and a bit frazzled. I described our situation and the people said that they weren't sure we would fit into their yard. I told them that we could make it work if we tried. They said they would help us out as much as they could and I started to cry. I wasn't crying because I was sad. I was crying because they were so very nice to me. Their kindness just overwhelmed me. I called dad and told him to come on down. It took him a bit to find the place and when he did he overshot the turn. I had no idea what he was doing, but he was about to drive completely off of the road, into a deep, deep ditch with a fire hydrant in the bottom of the ditch. I stopped him in the nick of time and determined that I actually could not wait to be parked for the night. Mike and Vikki helped get us parked in their backyard. Their "camp here" sign was actually meant for tents and they had the absolutely most adorable campground I've ever seen. Once our truck was parked they wanted to show us possibilities of where to park our camper. Also, it was twilight and the time when the elk wandered into their campground. Almost on cue, the elks started wandering through the property. As they showed us some options the owner agreed to cut some low-hanging branches so we would fit into their campground. As we toured and eventually tried to level our trailer I determined that it would absolutely not work to stay there. We were a record 4 inches off side to side! It was crazy. I don't know that campers are meant to be parked in pastures. The next morning I had to break it to your dad, who loved this place HUGE, that it wasn't really the place for us. I combed the internet and fortunately found Elkamp. I had seen them on the web before and I'm not sure why I had not called them the night before. Brian cheerfully answered the phone, but when I asked him if he had a spot for my 35 foot trailer he said, "I'm sorry. I have some spots, but you will have to move daily." 

I said, "Brian, I am a damsel in distress here. I have a generator and I need to be close to Rainier. We have hikes to do." 

He responded, "You have a generator? Is it quiet?" 

"As a mouse. 34 decibles." 

"Perfect. You can have site 12. It doesn't have electric." 

"For the week?"

"Yep! For the week!"

Ecstatic we got ready to move our camper. It wasn't without tears though because we had become besties with Vikki and Mike. They were the nicest people and given a little bit of time Vikki and I could have come up with solutions to solve all world problems. We hugged goodbye, exchanged information, and somehow guided dad out of the extremely tight backyard.  As we packed up Brian called me back. He forgot that he had a private event renting out the campground for the entire weekend. That meant we could be there for 3 days and that was it. Again, I am a tough negotiator. 

"Awe man! Do you have anywhere we could park? Just for a couple of nights?"

"Well...You could park in my front yard if you promise to stay out of the campground."

"Done." 

What began as a rather interesting relationship we fell in love with Elkamp. When the private party arrived they didn't even care if we moved out camper. They didn't plan on using the spot anyway. We decided to move to the front yard anyway because it would be nice to have power before we made the long trek home. It did prove to be very convenient and we did not have to deal with the generator as we packed to leave.

This is my favorite trip picture of the trip. This brings back warm fuzzy feelings of being out in the crisp night air as you two looked at pictures or videos from the days past adventures. 

As dramatic as our visit to Rainier started it became equally as amazing. We went to Ashford that evening for ice cream because, wow, we had had a day! The sky was so smokey it was unclear how much we could see of Rainier anyway. The following day we decided we would head up the Skyline Trail and begin our exploration of the giant volcano. 

My Facebook friend taught me about the Skyline Trail and I have wanted to do the trail ever since. I've called it a bucket-list hike. It's really the only hike I absolutely had to do on this trip! We arrived at an already crowded parking lot at 8:00 AM. There aren't words to describe the feeling and vibe at a trailhead of an infamous hike in the morning. Everyone is tying boots, packing bags. There's a buzz unlike anywhere else. Everyone is excited to see something new and exciting. There is a clear anticipation of adventure. It's sort of odd because MOST of the people hiking are younger than mom and dad and older than both of you. I read reviews and articles and chose to take the counter-clockwise approach to the trail. The trail was labeled as 5 miles, but as with all hikes on AllTrails you can generally add 2 miles to that. The elevation change was listed as 1800 feet. That's not too bad over 5 miles! I was confident we would be fine. For the most part we were. The uphill part was 1800 feet over 3.4 miles. The views were breathtaking and we took hundreds of pictures of our new favorite volcano. 

We bantered back and forth about how it would have been better to go clockwise rather than counter-clockwise because it was challenging. This was before we saw what the clockwise way was like. We got to touch and cross glaciers and see countless waterfalls and streams. It was one of the most memorable hikes I've ever done. Challenging, but fantastic. We did not meet any other kids your age on the hike which was extremely impressive considering neither of you even complained once about the hike. We had lots of laughs and after we went down the other side counter-clockwise was the best way to go. 

While near the top of the hike we ran into the camp host from Cougar Rock. I was hoping he wouldn't recognize us! What are the odds of running into someone you know on the top of the mountain in the middle of Washington?? I guess pretty good because he did recognize us. He was "happy" we found a spot to fit us and he knew we had because he had seen us camped at Mike and Vikki's. I couldn't help but laugh. See if I try to break some rules again!

Mt. Rainier National Park is fantastic! Cousin Chris explained it as the crown jewel of Washington and it is just that. Sadly, we had 1.5 days of seeing Rainier and then it went under the clouds. It was totally socked in. It was disappointing, but a park ranger told us that we hiked the Skyline Trail on one of the nicest days of the summer. We still hiked on the cloudy days. We went to Grove of the Patriarchs that had an amazing suspension bridge, Longmire, and drove the truck across a terrifying suspension bridge with an impressive view of Mount Rainier. We had a blast. We ate ice cream in Ashford and even had blackberry pie! 

The Nisqually Bridge was SO COOL!

Thimbleberries were in bloom when we were in Washington and they quickly became a family favorite. We enjoyed them fresh and even in pancakes one morning.  

Before we headed back to Rapid City we had the chance to meet up with my friend and coworker for ten years Chalu and her amazing family. We headed Evansville for lunch and playing at the park. It poured rain, but it was such a nice visit. It was like meeting a pen pal I've had for years. Our families immediately hit it off and I have no doubt that we will hang out together in the future.

Love this crew!

One Windshield Wiper in a Downpour and Many Mountain Passes

The ride home from a trip is a mixed bag. We were looking at a 15 hour drive on our first day. That's always pretty grueling, but we are all pretty much road warriors. Dad tacked numerous mountain passes and we even cleared a tunnel that was only 13 feet 8 inches! It was tense. Saying goodbye to Washington was sad, but before we knew it we were in the world's longest state, Montana. We opted for McDonald's for dinner which was absolutely delicious. I had to wait in the drive-through because the dining room was closed. Tall trailers and drive-throughs do not work so I stood in line between the cars. The sweet person who gave me my food was very concerned because a storm was heading our way. I was a bit worried because it looked rough. I told dad to hit it because we needed to get away from that storm. Thankfully we outran...that storm. However, we ran right into another storm. The beginning of the storm was a horrible gust of wind that blew the passenger side windshield wiper off of the truck. Then it began to pour. I couldn't see a thing, but dad could. 

On top of the storm, I kept getting notified that our destination was being evacuated for a fire. So the place where we were supposed to stay was getting evacuated. The RV Park wouldn't answer and no one in town knew what was going on. So while it poured and I couldn't see I called some other spots to see if they maybe had room for our camper and see if they had information on the fire and evacuation. I called a place in Big Timber, MT. The lady said she didn't have a spot with power, but she did have a spot where we could park. Dad was convinced that the rain wouldn't last forever and we would be fine getting to our campground because it was just 30 minutes away. It started to rain harder. Dad wanted to stop and check that our other wiper was secure and when he stopped the lady called back to tell me that she had checked with others in the town that was evacuated and the fire was 20 miles away from the town that was being evacuated so we could be evacuated in the night. She then offered her place again. This time we took it. 

When we arrived at her spot it was STORMING. She was very kind and showed us where to park...Again it was in her front yard. She was very kind and we were very grateful that our entire trailer is automatic now and controlled from our phone. We had it leveled in no time flat and waited out the storm during our last night of the trip. Dad and Baby Waider went out to watch the lightning in the distance while a spooked Little Brother and I played Trouble in the camper. We were exhausted, grateful, and a little sad that it was the last night we'd be out. We had made a zillion memories and it was definitely bittersweet to be on our way home. 

The following morning we ran into a few motorcycles and had a pretty uneventful trip home. We returned to a couple of Siamese cats who were thrilled to see us. Your awesome Halter grandparents hosted us for dinner which was amazing. Looking back it really was the trip of a lifetime. I will forever be grateful that we had the ability to take such a wonderful trip. Cousin Chris had sent me a message that I remember  often, "Travel is a great way to reset." I feel this to my soul. That's how I returned from our trip. Reset. There are good people out there. There are amazing things to see and I whole-heartedly hope I can take a trip like this every year. 

This post has taken several weeks to complete. Mostly because it has been a bit sad to look back at these pictures where we all look relaxed and happy. Things are a bit challenging right now. All of us have been sick. (Not Covid, but not sure what it is.) I think almost daily about moving to a different place far away from here. A place where people share my views. You know that because we do talk about it frequently. My roots here run deep, but more and more I am not sure how much longer I can raise you here. 

I love to read and I love to screenshot parts of books that speak to me. This quote has spoken to me over and over again. 

I'm not suggesting that I couldn't move there because it wouldn't be as magical as it was while we were on vacation, but I've realized it isn't the magic that I miss from Washington. It's the safety and control I had over both of you while we were there. We did lots of risky things where dad and I were able to determine the risks and take safety precautions. We could do our best to keep you safe. Now that we've returned here we are basically forced to have you take risks we are not comfortable with. You are in classrooms with lots of kids and no Covid precautions in place. No masks. You're not vaccinated. I know most people here do not share my views. Most of them don't care who gets sick, but you're mine. I want to keep you safe and healthy. So while I know returning to Washington would not fix everything right now I know that I would be back in control of your safety. For now, I will take time to reset when I look at these pictures, knowing that in less than a year we will be back to making fabulous memories. I will be comforted by knowing that a year ago I didn't think I would ever be vaccinated and I am now. I will take comfort in knowing that by this time next year it is likely that you will be vaccinated. I will also take a deep breath and remember all of the wonderful people I met. I will continue to believe that there is more good out there than evil. More people who care than don't. More people who love than hate. 

Love, 

Mom