My How Things Have Changed

Dear Baby Waider,

Sitting in church today I came to a realization. It was one year ago tomorrow, February 13, 2011 when I found out that you were going to be joining our lives. Wow, I remember it like it was yesterday...

I watched your cousin Finn that morning. I was really thinking that I might be pregnant. I just had a feeling. So I sat that morning with little Finn and watched the Sunday morning TV shows, drank my last cup of delicious coffee, and thought about how much my life was about to change.

Your dad and I had decided to go for a bike ride that afternoon because I had just purchased a full suspension mountain bike. Yes, it was VERY expensive. Like $1499...Ridiculous. But your dad and I loved to ride bikes and we both decided to get fancy ones. So we took a bike ride. It was a little muddy and I was wearing new biking shoes that lock into pedals. Well I was riding in the mud, wrecked, and my shoes got stuck in the pedals. I fell over, but luckily I must not have fallen too hard. Anyway once we were done we decided to go to Pizza Hut because I just HAD to have some green olive pizza. I wonder if you had something to do with that? Anyway... during dinner I decided that maybe I should take a pregnancy test. I didn't want to buy a pregnancy test because I was just sure that I would see someone I knew and what would I even say? What if my parents found out???!!!! So naturally, I sent your dad into Walgreens, while I waited in the car, and made him buy the pregnancy test and prenatal vitamins.

He bought the test and a million prenatal vitamins and we went home. I was pretty nervous. I wasn't sure I was ready to be a mom. People had told me that it would take forever for me to become pregnant so I thought I would have much, much more time to mentally prepare for having a baby. But, the moment of truth arrived. I went into the bathroom, took the test, and before I could even put the cap on the test the little purple plus sign appeared. Your dad cheered, and stared at the test and said something that is totally not appropriate to put into a blog. I was shocked beyond belief. No more beer, no more coffee, no more coffee...no more coffee...

I know, I sound pretty selfish, but those first few thoughts I had were pretty selfish. I felt like I was just thrown on a plane to some unknown location. And here's a newsflash your mom HATES change. Like despises it. I hated my iPhone the first week I had it. Hated it to the point that I wanted to throw it at the Verizon Store. So, finding out about you should have been exciting, but for me it was slightly terrifying. It was hard to stay terrified for long since your dad was so overjoyed. In shock, I took my iPad (my child prior to you) and started researching everything about pregnancy. And here's a newsflash, pregnancy is terrifying.

The next morning I woke up and didn't have a cup of coffee, which proved to be a disastrous decision. Turns out if you drink coffee every day for 15 years and then suddenly stop you get very sick. Throwing up and a massive headache. I had to leave work sick for the first time in something like forever. In fact I was so sick I left in the middle of the Valentine's Day party and cried all the way home. If this is how I felt pregnant it was going to be a VERY long 9 months.

Turns out it was a very long 9 months. Being pregnant was not my favorite and I was far from glowing. But today as we sat together in church and you were looking around with your big beautiful eyes and clinging to my shirt with your little hands I was pretty sure that February 13, 2011 was pretty much the best day of my life.

I guess sometimes you never really know what is going to turn out to be the greatest thing to ever happen to you. Blessings happen all the time it just seems like we usually aren't ready for them. You are a blessing I wasn't sure I was ready for, but you most certainly turned out to be the greatest thing that ever happened to me. Oh, and I haven't been back on my mountain bike since that day. Maybe should think about selling that thing....

Love,

Your mom

P.S. I did make it the entire pregnancy without even one cup of coffee. However, only hours after you were born your dad scored me a huge Starbucks latte. :) I continue to drink more coffee than I probably should and IF I am ever pregnant again I'll totally be drinking coffee...