Pre-birth Anxiety!!

Dear Baby Waider + Little Brother Too,

Well I've been a whole ton of emotions today! I've gone from wanting to have Little Brother RIGHT NOW, to being a little anxious about having him... See birthing is tough stuff. Scary in fact. Probably not much I should get into on a blog that I hope for my kids to read and enjoy some day. Fact: It hurts. Even with drugs. It hurts. My hope tonight is not that I have Little Brother soon, but that I have him safely. That he and I are both safe. I'm a little excited to see what his story will be. Baby Waider yours is fantastic. I wrote about it when it happened. Dad taking the wrong way to the hospital and stopping at Hardee's. Little Brother right now we wait and see what your story is to be. If you aren't born tonight or tomorrow night you will be FORCED out of your safe and cuddly womb on Monday. We are all super excited to meet you. Except for our cat, Super Kitty. She will not be excited to meet you. And possibly Mia. I think she would have been perfectly happy as an only. Once the fun wore off of getting table scraps she is kind of over being around little kids.

Today I had a lot of fun with Auntie April and Auntie Katie. We got pedicures and manicures. A BIG thank you to Grandma Halter for keeping you during nap time so we could go. Dad, Uncle Robbie, and Grandpa Halter went shootin' clays. Mom has always been a general disaster with pedicures. I actually feared them for years for several reasons: 1. my feet are NASTY. I have bunions, (which are genetic so have fun with them!) some weird toe fungus, and lots of calluses due to lack of care. 2. I don't really like people touching me. Specifically strangers, and specifically my feet. 3. I have always pretty much been able to paint my own toes without any trouble. Anyway, for the past couple of weeks I've wanted a manicure. My toes have not been painted and I wanted them to be, but I don't have the color I wanted. I wanted light blue because Little Brother will be a boy. I'm far too lazy to go to the store and your dad will paint my toes, but for some reason the thought of going somewhere to get it done appealed to me. The Aunties were down and Grandma was fine with nap time at her house so we went for it. The trip could have been just what I needed. Although it was SUPPOSED to induce labor and it clearly hasn't yet. This man, Goti? in Vietnamese and Benjamin in English did my pedicure and manicure. He was pretty ruthless, but very funny. He was digging in my bad toe so much that my eyes were watering and it was BLEEDING!! Thankfully Auntie Katie told him to STOP and so did the lady doing Autie's pedicure. Then, when he started massaging my legs and feet it started to tickle. I am super ticklish. So I started to laugh and I seriously could not stop. Eventually I was able to calm down when he painted my toes and my fingers. I love the blue and while I am in labor I'll be able to look at my pretty toes and POSSIBLY have a chuckle remembering all the fun that I had with the Aunties getting our nails done.

This is the ruthless Benjamin. He looks harmless, but was not. He was actually hilarious and possibly just what I needed.

Despite the fact that I was having a blast I still was thinking some pretty serious thoughts. Our lives are about to change forever... Baby Waider will no longer have BOTH parent's undivided attention. Our lives will again be filled with sleepless nights, clueless crying (meaning crying where we have NO clue why it is occurring), constant feeding, lots of diaper changes, and pretty much being chained to the house. Despite all of that we will also have the amazing blessing of getting to snooze with a cuddly little baby, smell that beautiful newborn baby smell, listen to soft coos, see that first smile, and just generally cuddle for hours. I'll tell you one thing, we held you all the time Baby Waider, but this kid isn't getting put down. This sweet time we are about to enter ends far too quickly and if I didn't know it enough before I know it now and I will drink up every. Single. Minute. Plus, now Baby Waider you will more than likely have BOTH parent's undivided attention right along with your Little Brother's. You after all are pretty entertaining.

For now, we continue to wait. Wondering if tonight Little Brother will decide to come or if tomorrow will be one last day of being pregnant. Either way this mama is terrified, excited, and anxious all at the very same time...The end is near and change is coming. We are ready for it, but that makes it no less scary. We can't wait to meet you Little Brother. I gotta go and try to think of a name for you. We still don't have one quite yet..


As always, Mama loves you!!

Love,

Mama