Bye, Bye, Obama...Rambling on Inauguration Eve

Dear Baby Waider + Little Brother Too,


Those who know me well would have a hard time denying that I have a flair for the dramatic, I tend to have bouts with extreme thinking, and also fixate on things. These are all true about your dear old mom. I'm also fiercely passionate and try to stick to my convictions. The past two months have been difficult for me because I am simply devastated over Trump being elected as the next President of the United States. I can't move on. I keep thinking today about how excited I would be to watch Hilary Clinton, the first woman, to be elected president. 


Depending on when you are reading this blog you may or may not know what the world was like in January of 2017. We are in the thick of social media ruling our lives. Information travels at lightening fast speeds. We are networked with people who we know and love so tightly that it seems like we are constantly in a crowded room. Due to this election and social media, something I've typically loved, has created a great space for disgust and shame. I've deleted "friends" and hid people I had tremendous respect for. Many people think how I am managing my social media is wrong and that politics shouldn't get in the way of friendships or family, but I am beginning to disagree. After all, I really see this election as a moral decision. If you are really bored you can google some of the things that were said and done during the election and decide for yourself if you could still respect someone who supported him. I can get along with and work with people who I disagree with. We live in South Dakota so we have to, but I don't have to be personal friends with people who align with that type of thinking and I definitely don't have to open my Facebook page to them. Specifically people who only want to pick fights and argue with me at every turn. 

I came home and watched the nightly news tonight. Something that I used to love during the Obama early days. I'd love to check in and see footage of what was going on for the day. Tonight I decided that it will likely be the last time I watch the nightly news for awhile. I watched snippets showing Obama's greatest moments or special moments and I cried. You are both extremely used to watching me cry while watching TV. I can't help it. I'm just so sad. Baby Waider, you, particularly have become very outspoken about Trump and dislike him right along with me. Probably because you are just regurgitating what I say! 

This election has rocked me to my core. In 2008 prior to Obama winning I was completely disillusioned by the political system. It was a place where a collective group of rich kids convened to make decisions that impacted our lives. Once Obama came into the picture I really felt that we all had hope. Somehow he made it possible for anyone to be president. He wasn't rich. He wasn't entitled. He certainly wasn't the "normal" old white guy face that we are used to seeing in our political system. He gave me hope in the American dream for MY generation. That really anyone could be successful. It was after Obama was elected that I decided we MIGHT have a country worthy of bringing children into. 

Tonight as I was putting stuff away I randomly found a t shirt. I got it at sometime during the Obama campaign. It said, "One voice can change the world." I wanted to put it on, but I was just too sad. The words almost seem hollow and impossible now. Like a giant foot has stomped on any and all good that was accomplished during the past 8 years.

I'm not naive enough to think that the Obama years were perfect because they weren't But what I do know is that the Obama years were significantly better than the Bush years and undoubtedly what is yet to come. It's not so much what Obama did or did not do while in office. Rather, it is that Obama didn't do anything to intentionally hurt anyone during his terms. He showed us that nice guys don't always finish last. That it is okay to laugh at yourself and smile sometimes. That even if people treat you like total crap you can take the high road and turn the other cheek. He welcomed critics and engaged those who he could have totally ignored. He showed us emotions like passion, love, and sadness. He was a real person who led us with the utmost dignity and class. You will not likely have any real memories of Barack Obama, but you will live through YEARS of enduring your parents telling stories of his time as president. 

It is no lie that I feel totally invested in Barack Obama personally. I worked for his campaign here in South Dakota when he was running against Hillary Clinton in 2008. I also got to meet, hug, and tell him the story of the Obama snow sculpture. I also made calls to Ohio during the general election(which if Ohio is still a swing state and campaigns are your thing totally make calls to Ohio during a general election. It is fascinating.) I was a cabinet member or appointee to the Department of Education in 2009-2010. I was a huge fangirl the rest of the time.  

Sigh, I'm going to bed tonight not knowing what tomorrow will bring. It is more than likely that we will all be just fine and in 4 years I will be celebrating the inauguration of President Joe Biden. However, part of me is terrified. I feel like I'm about to board a massive jet with a pilot who has never even flown a crop duster or even a remote control plane for that matter. Not only that, but I have my two tiny children in tow. The ones I brought into this world during a time of hope and change. I never bargained for a time of fear and terror. I keep refreshing my news apps and Facebook feed hoping and praying that some scandal will shut this whole mess down. That this white, male, billionaire's club is not about to take over our country. Alas, it IS happening. We are going to have an incredibly unpopular and unqualified person as our 45th president. And there is nothing I can do about it. Perhaps what is most devastatingly sad is not that he was elected our president, but that he was even given the space to do so. The fact that I am raising my children in world where a good number of people thought any of this was okay is probably what is making me the saddest tonight. 

I will close with what I've been saying over and over for the past two months. I can't believe this happened. How did this happen?  

Love, 

Your terrified and sad mama