Tribute to our Old Tree

Dear Baby Waider + Little Brother Too, 

First I know that a person could receive much much worse news than I did today. That being said, I am still sad and mad. 

My parting words to  our realtor after we sold our house were short and simple. I said, "Tell Patrick to take care of my tree. It is a good tree and it was very loved." Of all the reasons I didn't want to move the tree was at the top of that list. I adored that tree. It was such a part of my life. As strange as it sounds I felt an immense and strong connection to that tree. It was breathtakingly beautiful. I loved it every single season and not one day went by that I didn't admire it. Because we loved and cared for the tree so greatly you both also loved the tree. Mia logged hours sprawled out under the generous canopy in its dense shade and Super sharpened many claws on it. Countless blue jays would dive bomb Super from the highest branches and a little robin family spent countless summers high enough to keep Super at bay. We even had a squirrel in it for awhile. Baby Waider even made a bird house to hang in it.This doesn't even begin to acknowledge the hours both kids spent swinging in the Fisher Price swing for hours on end. The dancing that Baby Waider did under it, and all the time Little Brother would race around its amazing trunk. 

Summertime was when the tree looked its best. The two of you would run and play under the tree in the cool grass. You would grab at the branches and pull down bunches of leaves and I would constantly be stopping you, reminding you we must be nice to the tree! We would put the slide under the tree so it would keep you cool as you toddled up the little steps and then slid down the slide. We also put the pool under there to protect you from the sun and give the tree an extra drink. Last summer you spent hours in a hammock under the tree. There was no better sound than the breeze fluttering through the trees or the wooshing sound it made as a thunderstorm was blowing in. 

During the fall the tree turned the most glorious gold you've ever seen. I thankfully took plenty of pictures of it. Once the tree dropped its leaves we would spend hours raking them up, and jumping in the piles. We even collected the leaves and made leaf man out of them! 

Wintertime the frost would cover the branches and it would look so glorious against the bright blue sky or the dark grey clouds. When we would shovel the extra long driveway we would pile the snow around the trunk of the tree to give it a little extra drink. 

Springtime was by far my favorite. The leaves came out slowly at first. They would just be little green spots. Then one day, usually close to the end of the school year I would come home and it would be full of vivid, bright, full green leaves. Your dad spent hours trimming the tree and even had to bolt some branches in after they'd fallen off. I wish I could find a picture of him with the gigantic ladder tending to the tree, but I'm not sure I took one. 

Today I was informed that the person who bought our old house on Rosilee LN cut down our tree. Initially I didn't believe it because HOW COULD HE CUT DOWN THAT TREE??? It was amazing. I had to text our former neighbor Susan to confirm, which she did. It was the beautiful tree he cut down. I was devastated when one of my students quietly asked, "But, Mrs. Waider, it isn't your tree anymore?" He was right. It wasn't my tree anymore. Truthfully, I never wanted to leave that tree. 

The only other day that I cried this much over the tree was during the October Blizzard Atlas. In many ways I wish we would have lost it then. It seems like a more humane way to go than watching the family who loved it leave it behind with someone who held no regard for it. 

After the blizzard...

Today I've been trying to figure out why I'm so very upset by the loss of this tree I don't own anymore. I know that Grandma Halter is a tree lover and if you really want to fire her up you cut down a tree. Super Aunt Becky also adores her trees in her yard and I know she was very sad when she lost some to the blizzard. So maybe it's genetics. I also feel like that tree was the backdrop for our life for so many years. It was near our living room window so it peaked in on family dinners. I could probably see it out of the corner of my eye when you kids were learning to walk. It watched me move in, it saw us bring Mia home, and our two babies. It could peak in the window and see countless Christmases and birthday parties. It was always watching us as we pulled into the driveway. It was what welcomed us home. It was the backdrop of our lives. That's why I'm so devastated. 

I've recently heard dad ask you two, "What lesson did we learn from this?" I have started asking my students this as well as you two because it seems like a good way to wrap up a not so good situation. What did I learn from this? I learned that  not everyone sees value in the same things I do. To me nature is invaluable. A tree that has spent the past 40 years growing is a treasure to this world.  It seems more and more apparent in all facets of this country and the world that we don't place value on things that are really important. To Patrick that tree was a nuisance, but to me that tree was everything. I hold only happy memories associated with it. Before I left that house and drove away for the last time I hugged the tree, thanked it for it's shade, and told it I loved it. I sure hope that it really knew. 

*UPDATE!*

Nearly immediately after I finished this blog we heard from our neighbor Susan that she would hook us up with a branch of the tree so that we could TRY to get part of it to root and possibly grow another tree out of the tree we left behind. Thanks to Susan and a couple of other angels we have now attempted to grow little tiny trees. Also, we are using its branches as decor around the house. When I initially laid eyes on the branches from our trees with the springtime, mini, light-green leaves on it I was completely overwhelmed with emotions. At the same time it smelled just as I remembered it and both dad and I felt an instant comfort by its presence. Yesterday as I reflected more on the tree I was reminded that it wasn't just a great tree we left behind in our old neighborhood, but great people. Susan was instantly ready to help us when we needed it and had that tree branch to our house as quickly as she could. We are so lucky to have her in our lives. The other couple of angels worked pretty quickly too. Anyway... I hope that when you are reading this blog in 2037 we have a gorgeous, full, beautiful tree that we can admire and look at just as we did the old one. 

Love Always, 

Mama 

I found this prayer and it felt appropriate: 

Creator God,

Out of chaos you brought order.

Out of nothingness you brought life.

In the middle of all life stands the tree.

Trees provide the air that nurtures all your creation.

Birds make them their homes.

Cats climb them for protection.

Trees recycle life that has come before.

Bless the trees of this word, loving God.

Remind us to serve as their caregivers and protectors.

Give them long limbs and long life.

The gift of their breath is as special to us as the breath of the Holy Spirit.

Amen.