Today was a day that every teacher dreads. The principal coming to your room and telling you that one of the students in your school has passed away. We had the meeting after school and are prepared to address any students who may experience sadness from this. As much of a nightmare is this is at school this loss was particularly heart-breaking on a personal level for the Waiders. Peyton was a fourth grader at our school, PVE. But she was also a former "daycare kid" from Nancy's (Grandma's house). She was really one of Baby Waider's first friends and helped take care of her when she was a tiny baby. We were so excited when Peyton transferred to PVE from Grandview when she was in first grade. It was so nice to have her at school. She was always stopping by and giving a friendly greeting. In second grade she had my amazing friend, Miss Grimm, as her teacher. That year we did a lot together as a grade level so I had the opportunity to do activities with Peyton. Grandma Halter always raved about what an amazing helper Peyton was and that she was amazing in general. We were not disappointed when she was in second grade. She really was amazing. This year was Baby Waider's first year at the school and Peyton was always stopping by to say good morning and even walk the timid Baby Waider outside.
Naturally, we were all shocked to learn that the leg pain Peyton had begun to complain about was in fact an aggressive form of cancer and that she would be leaving school to go to live in Minneapolis for treatment. It was completely out of the blue. We couldn't say goodbye she just had to go so quickly. Obviously there were lots of questions with no answers. Baby Waider likely didn't know the last time she saw Peyton was the last time. I know the last time I saw Peyton. She came to school. I didn't give her a hug because she was busy talking with her classmates and smiling. I am so grateful that Aunt Katie told me that she was at school so I could greet her.
Peyton was an inspiring girl and I'm so saddened by her death. Today when I was feeling so devastated I knew I needed to do two things. Look at pictures and get my thoughts into writing. When something happens to me, good, bad, or exciting I get attacked with memories and sometimes the best thing I can do is put the memories down in words. It's almost as if I am so terrified that I won't remember that the memories stick with me over and over again.
Before even looking at pictures from birthday parties I instantly thought of my strongest Peyton memory. Baby Waider was tiny. Maybe four months. I was a new mom and feeling pretty sad about my baby being in daycare all day. I was terrified to miss anything. Well, one day I walked in to do pick up and Peyton runs up to me and says, "Carol! Guess what? Ellie rolled over today."
Grandma responds, "Peyton! Remember we weren't going to tell her right when she walked in! We were going to show her!" I couldn't even be a little disappointed after looking at the huge toothy grin and how happy she was to convey to me Baby Waider's new skills.
I am obviously obsessed with pictures. This is no surprise. The reason I'm so obsessed is that they really tell a story otherwise forgotten. As I went through the pictures I was reminded of Peyton's attendance to Baby Waider's first birthday party. I remembered that Peyton was hanging out and running and playing with the kids, but once I looked at the photos again I had forgotten what a little mother hen she was to Baby Waider, Harry, Finn, and maybe even Vern a little. She was holding hands, helping to open presents, and helping with crafts. All with the most gigantic grin on her face. I studied the pictures of the gift opening and Peyton was right by me watching intently and even helping Baby Waider with some of the presents. She was just so darn precious. She was celebrating bringing Baby Waider from infant to toddler just like dad, grandma, and me.
The next set of pictures I found were from Little Brother's second birthday. We had decided to invite Carter because he is Little Brother's BEST FRIEND. He says this all the time. I wasn't sure that Peyton or Hailey would want to come to the party because the kids were so little and it was at Old McDonald's Farm. I decided to invite them both and ask them to help which was a GENIUS idea. Flipping though pictures it is clear that Peyton was helping an overly sad Benny the entire time. She was so darn helpful. She did what needed to be done before you needed it to be done.She happily rode on the train just so that Cousin Kitt could. She tried to help Little Brother who couldn't stop crying during the group picture from his party.
Telling you this news, Baby Waider, was so difficult. You were sad, mad, and had so many difficult questions. We did our best to help you by answering your questions, but the truth is we don't really know the answers either. You will both remember Peyton and she will forever live in our hearts. Today was a harsh reality that life isn't fair and it can even be cruel. No matter how many fundraisers we participated in, t-shirts we bought, or prayers we sent Peyton still died today. The tragedy of that is not lost on me.
I will never forget how amazing Peyton was with both of my babies. She made both of their lives better by being in it. I will remember her for her infectious smile, helpful nature, and genuine love for life. Today was a reminder to live life to the fullest and never take a moment for granted.
Love,
Mama
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