I was a little shocked to see that the last PUBLISHED blog was from May 11th. So much has happened since then and I actually have written several other blogs, but didn't publish them for various reasons. Some were pretty polarizing, some talk about BIG topics, and some I just wasn't so sure about sharing. You will likely have access to my drafts someday so you will see even the unpublished stories.
This summer we purchased a boat. Mom and dad used to boat all the time. We had a tiny fishing boat with a 1962 Sea King engine. At max it probably went 10 mph. It was a blast, but not a great family boat. You both love going on it to fish on smaller lakes. Dad bought a "project" boat without a blessing from me. It just sort of appeared in the road in front of our house one day before either of you were born. For years your parents tirelessly argued talked about selling the old Crestliner boat- 1980-something with an old Mariner motor that was not reliable. That boat was never really "fun." There was always this looming chance that it would just stop running in the middle of the lake. That being said, dad loved that boat. Last year a devastated dad parted with this boat and immediately began his search for an updated Crestliner boat. He has LOTS of reasons for a Crestliner and you will likely already know all of those reasons. He finally located one in Montana and we bought it. Immediately the boat has become a source of countless memories. We swim from it, fish, tube, complain, and laugh all together. It has been a fantastic way to social distance and make memories together.
The learning curve for owning a 20 foot boat is steeper than I might have thought. It seems pretty straightforward to put a boat in water and drive it around, but that is absolutely not the case. Unbeknownst to me dad planned for me to be the one who would back the boat into the water while he drove it into the water which meant that I was also the one who would drive the truck and trailer to be parked with other large trucks and trailers. We were just finishing up our first cruise with the boat at Pactola. We were drifting to the dock where we watched this gal driving a huge boat around. She watched for her trailer to be brought down to the lake and drove the boat onto the trailer like a boss. I secretly wished that I could be so efficient, but also had no clue where to even begin with driving a boat. Plus you have waves, wind, the dock is always changing, lots of factors. So when your dad looked at me and said, "Do you want to learn to drive the boat or back the trailer?" It wasn't a surprise when I said neither. With our old boat he did it all while I caught rays and watched. I do not like backing anything in. Our manual diesel truck is about 100 feet long. It makes me dizzy looking over my shoulder so I refrain from backing in anytime I can. I am the type of person who loves a pull through parking spot so I can just drive out when I leave. Somehow dad had it in his head that this is something I could learn to do. He had much more faith than I did. That's for sure.
The need to be speedy on the dock outweighed my serious resistance to learn how to back the trailer, that and a faulty e-brake (that's a complete other story). Dad ever so patiently guided me in the first few times, but I'll be honest, I completely relied on watching him. I could not get that boat to the water for the life of me. I don't understand why someone hasn't invented a boat trailer that just stays straight. I could get it to start straight, but no matter what I tried it always sort of veered to one side or the other. Again, dad, ever so patiently, would guide me into the water and I would drive off and choose a place to park 1/2 mile away so I had plenty of space to park straight and have an easy exit when I had to back back into the lake with the empty trailer.
Little Bend
When I think of pivotal moments in my life Little Bend will hilariously be one of them. I say hilariously because in the general scheme of life backing in a trailer is not something that changes your life. However, believing in yourself, and committing at age 42 to learn something new most definitely is. We arrived at Little Bend landing with 2 other boats, uncle Kelly's pontoon, and Aunt Katie's fishing boat. Uncle Kelly and Uncle Rob both got their boats right into the lake and were off. I was struggling. It was a really long steep landing and despite trying, dad and I were having a hard time getting into the lake. About the time I couldn't get the boat into the water another guy came up and he STRUGGLED to get his boat into the water too. Together we commiserated about how hard it is to back in a boat at the docks. I let him go ahead of me. I sent the other boats on confident that we could catch up. I finally got the boat into the water again just by watching dad. He would point the way that I had to turn the wheel and I would feebly respond and then he would point the other way. It made no sense, but we got into the water and had a great time. We never did catch up with anyone, but we found some fun despite that.
We returned to the dock and that's when the trouble began. A breeze had come up and we were trying to get to the dock to tie onto it. Dad kept saying, "grab, don't pull! You're causing the back of the boat to whip around!" I didn't know what that meant a proceeded to do it a bunch of times. Finally, when he got close to the dock I jumped out with the key and vowed to back the boat in without him at the dock...I couldn't do it. I was already crying because when I don't understand something and get mad I cry as you both now know. Sometime within that dad got the boat tied to the dock and left the two of you to come and see how I was doing. I don't remember what I said, but it was something to the effect of, "Get away from me. I'm trying to calm down." Just when I didn't think I could get anymore frustrated I looked back and my "friend" from earlier in the day was pulling into the docks. He got out and I decided it would be a good opportunity to get out of the way and let him try. I drove around the parking lot and he went in to get his boat. I couldn't see him, but I heard a lot of yelling and then the truck sort of pulled into view. Dad came to get me and told me that the truck/trailer had a problem and that I could go ahead and pull down now. I have no idea how, but I made it into the water on the 100th try and dad loaded the boat. I've never been so grateful to be off the water. Once in the truck dad explained to all of us that the kid had jack-knifed and pushed the trailer. You kids saw more than I did and recall that the tire of the trailer almost touched the tire of the truck! It was at that moment that I vowed to learn how to back the trailer in exclusively. I would no longer rely on dad to guide me in. I had to know how to do this with speed, precision, and accuracy. I went to youtube university and started looking up a bunch of videos on how to back a boat in. I stayed up late into the night studying all of the different tricks and tips. I discovered that backing in a trailer is difficult to lots of people and not just me.
Landing Friendships
I love to chat up strangers so it is not a surprise that I make friends at nearly every landing. The first time I parked the trailer and the truck this guy was watching me struggle. I sort of expected him to come over an help me. He didn't. He gave me my first piece of advice I cling to, "You just have to keep trying and find your own way with it! If I help you you'll never learn." The next piece of advice was when we were trying to quickly exit the lake with an impending thunderstorm. Dad decided I needed to drive the boat onto the trailer because the dock was super busy! He knew that I probably wouldn't get the center and wider spot and this wasn't the time to try for a narrow side spot. I had driven the boat one time before. I had asked to learn how to drive in case of an emergency. I didn't expect to learn and use the skill this fast, but here I was. I dropped dad at the dock and backed out to float among 15 other boats waiting for their trailer to drop in the water. When it was my turn, I looked at the guy next to me and said, "This is a baptism by fire, I've never done this!" He looked back at me and gave me my second piece of advice, "You've watched him do this a million times. Do what you've seen him do. You've got this." So I watched as dad sank the trailer, pointed the bow into the wind hit the gas, let off of the gas and drifted on the trailer like a pro. I trimmed the engine, I think that's what it is, and we were safe on the trailer. The third guy watched me take on stab at it and miss so I decided to drive around the parking lot and try again because I didn't love my placement. He yelled into my window, "Hey! Do you need me to back it in for ya?!" About the time he asked his eyes saw the stick shift. His eyes super wide he gave me my third piece of landing advice, "I can't back that down! I can't drive a stick very well. People won't be able to help you. You have to know how to do that on your own." I imagine that's a fact. Not trying to brag, but driving the truck is not easy and I've done pretty well. (Okay-I do dump the clutch, give it too much gas, lose traction, and smoke the three of you out sometimes.) I've met lots of other, mostly nice people, on the launch. There is a sort of unspoken camaraderie among those of us who back the trailer. Some will ask, " Do you want me to guide you or leave you alone?" Some will say, "You make that look too easy." Some will simply smile at you and then go about their day. I haven't met any real jerks on the docks, but I am confident that is coming.
Success
I still need dad's help backing the trailer every once in awhile. We went to a sort of tricky launch the other day and he showed me a few tips before I tried it on my own, which was helpful, but for the most part I am pretty capable of navigating the launch on my own. It feels good to do hard things and it also has reminded me of how hard it is to learn a new skill. I watch people struggle to learn something new for a living, but don't want to struggle on my own to learn something new. This was a good opportunity for me to remember that sometimes learning a new skill is frustrating, just because it is easy for me doesn't mean it's easy for everyone, practice and patience is crucial, but it is also necessary to find your own way when learning something new. All of those are important elements to supporting new learners.
I guess my point in posting this is you're never too old to learn something new. You both have supported me on this journey and watched my struggle and have helped to celebrate my success. You spent several hours baking in the sun as I zig-zagged you into the water. You are probably the most grateful that I've significantly reduced that time!
The memories of summer of 2020 will definitely be a combination of social distancing on the Missouri River, the four of us boating, fishing camping, and having a ball.
Love,
Mom
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