Inauguration Eve

Dear Baby Waider + Little Brother Too,

January 20, 2021. It is a date I've been waiting for since January 20, 2017. It has been a long, hard-fought battle to get to this day. I'll never forget the night after the inauguration in 2017. It rained. In South Dakota. In January. This is just not typical. It was the perfect metaphor for how I was feeling. Even the sky was crying. Dad and I were chatting in the hot tub as it rained. It was easier to cry because of how hard it was raining. It all just ran down my face. Dad and I had discussed what the next four years would bring. We were nervous about living near an airforce base during what could become a contentious time in our world. Dad can generally temper my concerns with some practical, less fantastic theories, but he was genuinely concerned when it came to the Trump presidency. Spoiler alert. I'm dramatic. Always have been dramatic. I am informed but dramatic. I knew that 2017-2021 was going to be quite a ride. I truly didn't know what it meant, but I felt certain uneasy anxiety that night after the inauguration. I would call it dread. This morning I am reflective of how I felt that day/night. I reluctantly decided to google, "The worst parts of the Trump Presidency." Not because I wanted to reaffirm what I was feeling, but to validate that if I were to look back on the last four years (pre-pandemic), would I really think that this presidency was THAT BAD? Spoiler alert: I still think it's crazy. I actually think it's crazier. The list was beneficial for me to give you a synopsis of why I am so ready for the past 4 years to be over. 

1. Child Separation Policy

2. Withdrawal from the Paris Climate Agreement. 

3. Attacks on the Affordable Care Act. 

4. Racism.

5. Enlisting foreign officials to help his candidacy.

6.His use of the treasury to line his own pockets. 

7. Handling...would we say he handled it? the COVID-19 Pandemic.

8. Regressive changes to the tax code.

9. Inhumane immigration policies. 

10. Lies. 

Four years ago this very weekend, I lamented the loss of my most favorite president from office. I cried many tears when Obama left the office for so many reasons. He was a man who gave me hope in our country. He made me feel like this country was a place I could bring my children into. He restored my faith in the system. He was not perfect, but he was so endearing and kind. I always risk going off on an Obama tangent whenever we talk politics, so let me snap back into focus.

You'd think that four years later, I would be elated about the inauguration of Obama's VP, Joe Biden. THE FIRST FEMALE VP!!!! You would think that would be enough to be ecstatic. Rather. I feel tentative. Skeptical. Fearful. You will most certainly remember the riots that happened on January 6, 2021. It is now officially called the insurrection. Even more than a riot, really. It was yet ANOTHER night where I watched a continuous loop of news and analysis on the event. Before I go too much into that, I've realized that I haven't even blogged about the 2020 Election. Processing our world seems to take more and more time because nothing is certain and nothing is simple. So I feel like commenting too soon about these events will leave out critical details that show the whole picture. Here is my timeline (as I remember it) *Full disclosure-I drank FAR TOO MUCH on election night, which ultimately has clouded my memory.

November 3, 2021

I go to work as usual. Check the news at lunch. Polls are open, and high voter turnout. That makes me happy. High turnout is good for the Democrats. My class engages in normal election day activities. We were also preparing for Veteran's Day, so we engaged in awesome patriotic crafts. Again-I felt encouraged and happy. I love to listen to music in class as we work. I put on a patriotic rock playlist. It was mostly Brooks and Dunn and Bruce Springsteen. I hadn't noticed that the playlist had ended, and the music stopped. We continued to work, and then, out of nowhere, "Philadelphia Freedom" begins to play...Instantly I was euphoric. For a month, I had heard that it would all come down to Pennsylvania. It was almost as if Sir Elton John himself had told me that it would be okay. Philadelphia would save the election!

I went home and began my last shift with the DFL at 4:00 PM. I sacrificed watching the news that night (which, as you know, takes a lot) so that I could call as many voters as I could before the polls closed. I worked until 6:00 PM. I felt relieved, proud, and scared shitless.

Polls close, and results roll in—Florida trends for Trump much more than expected. I start drinking Miller Lite Pounders. 

Polls continue to look bleak. Cousin Brook announces he's going to bed. The anchor people remind us that there are lots of votes left to count. I continue to consume Miller Lite Pounders. I start to cry.

Minnesota is called for Biden. The district I did the most work for is a solid blue. I feel SLIGHTLY BETTER. Many states are too close to call. I stay up, no longer consuming Miller Lites praying for a glimmer... The only thing I hear is votes are still being counted. Unsurpassed mail-in votes. Still too close to call in lots of places. House Democrats did not do as well as anticipated. Senate is clearly not a sweep as Democrats hoped. Votes are still being counted. 

Biden addresses the nation, urging us to not lose hope. He's got this. The votes are being counted. Democracy can be messy. 

Trump addresses the nation, and I'll just paste a direct quote from his speech because paraphrasing him is difficult. "An unfortunate group of people is trying to disenfranchise [those voters who voted for me], and we won't stand for this ... We'll be going to the US Supreme Court, we want all voting to stop. We don't want them to find any ballots at 4:00 in the morning and add them to the list ... As far as I'm concerned, we already have won this."

I go to bed annoyed that this election wasn't the type of election night that Obama gave us. He won so big so quickly that we were often in bed by 9:30 certain of where the country was going for the next four years. I'm also annoyed because the current president refused to acknowledge that the votes counted were legitimately cast and deserved to be counted! I'm going to give you my normal caveat. I've been a political junkie for years. My current dream is to have Kasie Hunt's job. You will remember her as the host of "Wayy too Early for This," the podcast we listen to every morning. I would love to be a correspondent and spit politics all day long. In all of my years of clinging to the news, I have always had mad respect for a unifying concession speech. John McCain's is the most memorable in recent history. “I urge all Americans who supported me to join me in not just congratulating him, but offering our next president our goodwill and earnest effort to find ways to come together,” McCain said, “to find the necessary compromises, to bridge our differences and help restore our prosperity, defend our security in a dangerous world, and leave our children and grandchildren a stronger, better country than we inherited.” McCain wanted to be president badly, but he acknowledged that he lost to Obama. He did not accuse those of us who voted for Obama as not casting legal votes. There is such a difference between how Trump acts as opposed to other modern-day politicians.  I went to bed disgusted. 

November 4, 2020

I wake up to Gail King, still wearing an adorable yellow dress. The same one she had on the night before. You both noted that she, in fact, had been up all night. The AP called Arizona (NBC did not). Along with my coworkers, we continue to monitor the election during lunch and after school. Michigan and Wisconsin are inching closer to a win all day long. I believe at lunch, Michigan is called, and I run and hug Miss Selfridge as she tells me this. This is shocking because of COVID. It was a Cornoafoul, but totally worth it. That evening it is clear that Michigan and Wisconsin are a win. I go to bed around 7:30PM feeling optimistic. 

November 5-6, 2020

More states called, claims about fraud are being brought up more and more with no proof. A win for Biden seems to be a clear win.

November 7, 2020

Oddly straightening my hair, I really don't know why because I was getting ready to walk Mavis. I receive a message from my good friend, JoLisa Hoover. It says that Joe Biden is the projected winner of the 2020 election...BECAUSE OF PENNSYLVANIA. I immediately acknowledge that Elton John was right, ask Alexa to play "Philadelphia Freedom," dad and I crack a Mich Ultra, and we CELEBRATE! One of the most memorable clips of that day was Kamala Harris, who was out for a jog, and finds out that they won. She calls Joe and says, "We did it, Joe, we won, you're going to be president of the United States." I acknowledge that Kamala is not just talking about her and Joe, but all of us who resisted and worked the past 3.5 years. We head to the lake for some boating with a significantly lighter heart. That evening Joe Biden and Kamala Harris deliver an inspiring speech. All seems okay.

The days that follow the elation that was felt on November 7th become less and less as we hear the current president deny that he lost the election. He continues to be a poor loser whining and complaining that the election was stolen. He rallies his supporters to feel the same. I proceed to ignore the president because he seems to be increasingly crazier than the day before. I catch bits and pieces of the lawsuits regarding the election, but I chose to trust that Biden won the election. Tons of crazy conspiracies were floating around, but I chose to focus my energy elsewhere, like getting the two senators in Georgia elected.

January 4, 2021

Dad's birthday. We had eaten dinner and cake. It was the night before the Georgia election. CBS News sent me a push on my phone. It was President Trump speaking before the Georgia election. I was appalled by what I heard. Blatant lies about the election. He was basically getting people all stirred up about Biden not legitimately winning the election. He told his supporters that they wouldn't quit until they won. We listen to the entire disgusting speech. Really horrified by what we heard. 

January 5, 2021

Election results pour in. We watch as the percentages change on the New York times site. Warnock and Ossoff are doing well, better than I expected. I had to slow my obsessing over the results because Baby Waider stuck her hand in the back of the door just as Little Brother was slamming it, resulting in the breaking of her middle finger. To say it looked like a cartoon is an understatement. Thankfully dad drove in a way that got her to the doctor before they closed at 8 PM, got an x-ray, and understood what we needed to care for her finger. Aside from being extremely upset about not playing on the monkey bars for a few weeks, Baby Waider was unscathed by the event. Both mom and dad are exhausted by giving the threat "Someone is going to get hurt" and being ignored. "Quit messing around with the doors!" I hope both of you learned a valuable lesson. Election results continue to pour in. I go to bed with Ossoff behind by only a little over 300 votes. Warnock is the presumed winner. 

January 6, 2021

CBS News continually sends me pushes of major, and not so major events as they occur. They sent me a push that Ossoff and Warnock were the projected winners of South Carolina's election. Shortly after that, a push that stated President Trump was addressing his supporters. Shortly after that push another push that had clips of the address with these quotes. “If you don’t fight like Hell, you’re not going to have a country anymore;” “When you catch somebody in a fraud, you’re allowed to go by very different rules;” “You’ll never take back our country with weakness.” Then, finally, the push that the protest had moved to the Capitol. I waited for what seemed like a bazillion hours for school to get out so that I could begin my news binge. That binge carried on for days, really. We are still getting reports about what happened if Congress members were involved, who is responsible, and the President was impeached a second time. What we know is that it was an insurrection. This was an attempt to overthrow the government. What is interesting is that the videos of the insurrection show men with Trump flags and confederate flags. Scenes that are kind of common around here. Little Brother actually thought that it was a video of Pierre because we saw so many people in Pierre this summer with the Trump Flags and confederate flags. President Trump was impeached a second time and it is actually unclear what will happen now. A conviction by the Senate seems improbable, but time will tell. In my opinion, it is clear that the president emboldened his supporters to orchestrate an insurrection at the Capitol. He thought that he would stay in power if the Senate did not confirm the election results. 

So, that pretty much brings us to today. January 17, 2021. Three days to the inauguration. We're taking the day off to watch all of the happenings! I guess the events leading up to this have me feeling less enthusiastic than I want to feel. The Capitol is full of National Guard, the White House has a huge fence around it, and no one can even get near where the inauguration will occur. This is so different than what it has been like during past inaugurations and not just because we are living through a global pandemic. 

One year ago, I would not have believed this past year. Here are a few tidbits I've learned over the past 10 months. 

1. I know who most of the governors are from the 50 states. I never really thought I would be able to hear a governor's name and then know which state they are in charge of. Jim Justice? That's West Virginia. Mike DeWine? Ohio. Andrew Cuomo? New York.  I even know some mayors! Bill de Blasio? New York City! Eric Garcetti? Los Angeles.

2. I also know many of the Representatives in Congress and which state they are from. I am usually pretty good with Senators, but not Representatives. 

3. Insurrection. 1. I didn't know what this was. 2. I would have not really thought it was even a thought during this day and age. I thought that, as AMERICANS, we had respect for our governmental system. 3. I thought that we were UNITED in our belief that it is an individual who runs this country, but the constitution follows. Might doesn't make right in these instances. We have a system of checks and balances. An acknowledgment of right and wrong.  Winner and loser. Each state runs its own elections. I was sadly mistaken in regards to all of this. 

4. Until now, we've taken the "peaceful transition of power" for granted. I will forever remember the people who enabled Trump to carry on and on about the election being stolen when it wasn't. It was unpatriotic, and it wasn't true. Saying it doesn't make it true. People starting working against the election of Trump on January 21, 2016. The fact that he lost in 2020 is not surprising. Before this event, I am not sure that I ever wondered if there would be a peaceful transition of power? It always seemed to be a given. I don't think we will ever feel that way again. 

5. I don't know what is next. I keep thinking that now we can go back to the status quo. I'm increasingly unsure what that means. I hope that I can watch the news without cringing, but I can't be convinced that that will happen right away. 

6. I have mad respect for (many) people who choose to serve in these public political positions. It has proven to be dangerous, constantly critical, and unforgivingly scrutinizing. I often wish they would do more but seldom do I acknowledge how brave they are doing to what they've done—specifically Liz Chaney and Nacy Pelosi. I do not always agree with them, but the past week has proven that they are fearless. 

7. I have mad respect for (most) journalists. They continue to ask hard questions and report on events even when they are in danger. Many of them provide us with facts and information that we would not otherwise get. They are a crucial part of keeping our government in check. They have had a difficult job these past four years. They have been called horrible names and unfairly criticized. They have been made the villain when that is not the truth. 

8. Alternative Facts. I remember LOLing when Kellyanne Conway told Chuck Todd on Meet the Press the Sunday after the 2017 inauguration that the inauguration crowd's size was alternative facts. This meant that while the photos and actual numbers showed one thing, the Trump administration touted and propagated that it was larger than Obama's inauguration crowd. Little did I know that alternative facts were the new norm. Lies would be accepted and spread wildly. 

9. I do not know where this leaves us as a country.  Divided is an understatement. I don't pretend to understand the opposition.  The "us and them" mentality is debilitating, and I am not sure how we come together again. I think, for now, I'll take it case by case and day by day. We will be forced to forgive and find ways to navigate with those we do not and have not agreed with. I'm not convinced we can heal from this. I know that Joe Biden said that we are in a battle for this great nation's soul. I want to believe that he can win this battle, but I am just not so sure. I'm afraid we could be a nation without a soul. 

10. Accountability. I have spent my life making 8-10-year-olds accountable for their actions.  Tell the truth. Be nice. Be a bucket filler! Have empathy. Show compassion. Help your classmate who is struggling. Accountability for "some" is out the window. If you have money, the right color skin, the right gender, and know the right people, you can do as you choose with little consequence. Until we can hold people accountable, we cannot have unity. I heard that on a podcast, and I believe it whole-heartedly. 

I so often ask myself what the children of this crazy time will remember? What will you both remember? I'm not entirely sure. You are more politically engaged than most kids, and you also helped me make a killer display for the inauguration. Photos below. 

You are filled with excitement and optimism. You both have high hopes for the future. I hope your generation does better than mine did because if I had to give my generation a grade for saving the country, it would be an F. I'll leave you with this quote from one of the many shows I watched this morning.  "Inauguration is a great reopening in our country." Here's hoping we have a successful reopening.

Love Always, 

Mom