PNW: A Journey not a Destination

Dear Baby Waider + Little Brother Too,

Whew! We just finished perhaps the most fantastic journey I ever could have imagined or hoped for. I say journey rather than vacation because a vacation implies leisure and recreation. What we did actually felt like so much more. A journey means to travel from one place to another. Our journey to PNW was a journey that none of us will forget.  I've debated how to document this journey for both of you and I decided that dividing it into the trip there, locations, and trip home will be the most logical. You are both considerably older than the last time we travel so you will likely even have your own memories of this fantastic voyage.

Four States in a Day, Three Bridges the Next

Dad is a road warrior. I say this because he will drive 24 hours straight and not bat an eye. When we began to plan our trip we decided our first stop would be Missoula, Montana on I-90. Our original destination was North Cascade National Park so it made our first day of driving 12-14 hours and our second day 7-9 hours. Shortly before our departure time, we decided to cancel that portion of our trip. When we do a park we don't just visit. We experience, hike, and explore that park. Several of the things I had hoped to do there were closed due to a fire. I felt like it would be better to go to that park when we could actually experience the park to the extent we wanted to. Thus, that modified our trip. On our first day we decided to make it to Spokane, WA. That portion of the journey took us 15 hours? 16 hours? We went through South Dakota, Wyoming, Montana, and Washington. It took a long time. The next day we had planned on a 6 hour trip to Sul Duc Campground. Road construction, traffic, and long stops made it closer to 10 hours. So, 25 hours to get to our first campsite. 

The first two days of our journey were long. I spent much of the time finding gas stations that were close to the interstate, had diesel and would be easy to get back onto the interstate. Your dad towed our much longer fifth wheel and kept the entire 50+ feet of the total vehicle between the lines. The truck did multiple mountain passes. Up one side and down the other. We sped past many overheated trucks with trailers grateful for dad taking the time to prepare our truck for this voyage in 110-degree heat. We ate snacks, and I possibly came upon a dead body while walking Mavis in Butte, Montana. I still do not have confirmation if the person was asleep or dead, but it terrified me! You both got pretty continuous iPad time and played on your Nintendo Switches. I was proud that you also spent a good amount of time working on your reading, writing, drawing, and math. 

When we arrived in Spokane you two got to experience your first RV park! Dad and I were thrilled to not have to level the camper and you both got to swim at a POOL that was ON the property. I gave the cautionary tale that our next campground would probably be the absolute opposite of that RV Park and I was correct in the best possible ways.

People often ask me what Mavis does in the truck....Here it is. She sleeps on the floor. 

The second day of travel continued to be pretty grueling except we added the big city traffic of Seatle, Renton, and Tacoma. We got to go over THREE bridges in ONE day!

Mountain passes for days. 

One of the three bridges

We arrived exhausted at Sul Duc Campground at around 5:30 in the evening.

Sul Duc Campground

We arrived at Sul Duc after hours of winding, narrow roads. It really is in the HEART of Olympic National Park. My first impression of the campground was small, tight, and lots of tents...We reviewed the map and dad began down the road with our most definitely oversized RV. As we drove into the campground narrowly avoiding trees and an abundance of RVs randomly parked on the sides of the road a man appeared with a big, bushy beard on a vintage Raleigh ten-speed. He waved dad down and dad opened his window.

Man on the Bike: Hi! You're in the wrong campground! People with bigger rigs             typically stay at the place down the road, with power. 

Dad: No, we're here. Site 24. 

Man on the Bike: Umm...I guess maybe I can see that. Guys have done it before.             You good at backing in? 

Dad: Eh? Shrugs his shoulders. 

Man on the Bike: You'd better be. 

We nervously crept along the road and discovered that our campsite was plenty big enough for us...BUT the angle was absolutely crazy. We started taking stabs while also trying to avoid trees, branches, and all that jazz! Man on a bike comes over to help us. Sort of calmly he says, "You are here for the next 10 days? You gotta figure this out. You won't find a place to stay here if you don't!" Thanks for keeping me calm guy on a bike. 

After a couple attempts, the guy on a bike came up with the idea to try and get in backward. He closed off the campground road, dad somehow turned our rig around, I fell into a "devils club" plant that put hundreds of stickers into my leg causing it to swell and itch, and before we knew it we were parked in our dreamy campsite for the next 10 days. I'm not sure I've ever been more relieved to be in a camp spot. You both disappeared into the wooded campground with giant trees, logs, mushrooms, berries, and ferns. As you two explored and made new friends dad and I got set up, drank a much-needed beer, and got to meet the neighbors who were more than curious about the crazy South Dakotans who shook up the whole campground that evening. I was concerned because as we pulled into the spot we noted that the tree above us had dead branches that needed to be trimmed. I took care of that by standing on top of our 14 ft tall camper and used our power saw to trim the branches. In my mind, all I could think was that people are seeing this crazy woman from South Dakota. Of course, she would be trimming branches in the forest on top of her RV. All I really needed to do was shout "I LOVE MY FREEDOM" once I was done. 

Thankfully I was able to befriend all of the people around us. I tried to offer everyone a beer or seltzer as an offering for disrupting the peace. Not one person wanted my ultralight seltzer or ultra light beer from Michelob. Imagine! Anyway. We met two nurses next to us who were thrilled to talk hiking trails, kayaking, and camper camping versus tenting it. They were not eager to help me with my leg injury due to falling into a thorny plant. They recommended I go to the camp host for help. They were, in fact, off duty and not there to help me. We also met a nice couple who were tent camping with their small toddler who was obsessed with coming into our camper. His parents were so creeped out by that offer and he never did get to see the camper. I had a good laugh remembering the years spent camping with a toddler being potty trained. They had a potty chair outside their tent and made a nearly constant trek to the bathrooms. Our campsite was between two other campsites so it made our three campsites were like a mini culdesac. We had such a good time with (almost) everyone in that spot. 

While we stayed at Sul Duc we did a variety of amazing adventures. Our first stop was the Sul Duc Falls hike. Gorgeous. Inspiring. By the time we decided to do that hike it was so late in the day we knew we would not have a spot to park at the trailhead so we rode our bikes the two miles to the trail. After that, we completed the 3-mile hike to the amazing falls. We were surrounded by giant trees and people who shared a love of the national parks with us. 

The next day we attempted Hurricane Ridge. We had heard that it was important to get a sunny day for that view and the hike up Hurricane Hill. It was too cloudy so we decided to head to the Salt Creek Tide Pools. We weren't there right at low tide, but we got the amazing opportunity to see all kinds of sea life, seastars, possibly an octopus, and adorable fish. It was such a surreal experience. It was something I had no idea even existed! At ages 42  & 43 dad and I were like little kids again experiencing the seashore. You both were in full discovery mode and it was just the most amazing experience!

Thankfully the next day we were able to head to Hurricane Ridge. Breathtaking is an understatement. We went to the famous Hurricane Hill Hike. It is relatively short. Twoish miles, but we were there at 8:30 and we had to park at the overflow parking lot which added a half-mile to our trek. Making it close to five miles. The top of this hike was so amazing. You can see the Strait of Juan de Fuca, Mount Olympus, Mount Baker, and Port Angeles. Pictures tell the story, but experiencing it is something else entirely. The absolute euphoria of seeing all of this beauty after climbing two miles up a hill is something that I recommend to everyone. 

Once you arrive at the top you can see Strait of Juan de Fuca.

Our campground was close to Sul Duc Hot Springs. The hot springs were established before the national park. I am typically anti sharing hot water with other people. To me I would not bathe with another person, why would I share hot springs with them? The friends that you both made told us that it was a "cool" spot with a fun pool. They were going to go to the hot springs. I decided to check it out. I wanted to be more open to things this trip so I decided to suggest that we go to the hot springs... It was not our favorite place on the trip. It was expensive, smelly, old, and awkward. We chose the same time to go to the hot springs as every other couple on their honeymoon did as well. Love was in the air... After soaking in the less than sanitary hot water and freezing our a$$es off in the "pool" we decided to head into the restaurant for dessert. I felt like we needed to shower because...we needed a shower. I can't speak to the experience the boys had with their locker room, but I tried to prepare Baby Waider for the locker room. I said people might be naked because not everyone covers up in locker rooms. Baby Waider was mortified, but we did get showered and managed to touch as little of the locker room as possible.   Once we got out of the terrifying, dirty, smelly locker room Dad and Little Brother sadly informed us that they had sold out of dessert...We  hiked back to our campsite vowing that we would not be making another trip to the hot springs. 

This is the only shot I have of the Hot Springs area and this is an adorable General store we went to. 

Cleaned, relaxed, and loose from our trip to the hot springs we set out the next morning to tackle some more hiking. We started out going to Marymere Falls. Easy, fun hike to some beautiful tall falls. On the way to the falls, we saw the trailhead for storm king...Storm King was a pretty legendary hike referred to in many Pinterest posts, websites, books, and blogs. I had read that it gave you an amazing view of Lake Crescent, BUT a landslide had taken out the top of the mountain so you had to climb ropes to get to the top. The hike itself was pretty short, only 2.1 miles to the top. I had not really looked up the elevation gain, but how much could that really be? We ran into a lady who told us that she planned on the hike being pretty grueling and told us we probably wouldn't be able to do it...A sure-fire way to make me want to try it!

Both of you were THRILLED with the prospect of climbing ropes at the end of the hike. So excited that you drug your old mom and dad up over 2,000 feet to get to the end of the maintained trail. We were EXHAUSTED. We made decent time getting to the top. The end of the maintained trail *looked* like it might be okay so we went forward for a bit. It quickly became clear that this was not a trail for kids who are 9 and 7.

End of maintained trail. :( 

I went ahead to check out the trail and there was no margin for error.  One misstep and it would be a LOOONG fall. Not okay. So, we reluctantly turned around with two angry and disappointed children. You both vowed that once you were 18 climbing the Mount Storm King was the first thing you were going to do. I will in fact join you when you are that old! It was just too much for our family this year. We ran into several people who confirmed our children were much too young for that adventure, but that it was SUPER impressive that they made it as far as they did. As we were near the trail end we met another family with kids the same age. We asked them if they made it to the top and they agreed that the kids were just too young. We met two adults who said that the end of the hike was so terrifying they couldn't even enjoy the view. The lesson of that trek was that the top of the mountain is different for everyone. We weren't there to conquer the mountain. We were there to conquer ourselves. We made it up 2,000 feet in 2 miles. We got to see a breathtaking view of Lake Crescent and as hikers set an astounding pace and learned the importance of supporting each other. It was a grueling hike, but will undoubtedly be one we never forget. 

Lake Crescent and then beyond the mountains in the Strait of Juan de Fuca again. 

EXHAUSTED, but we did it!

That afternoon and evening dad and I needed to work. :( We were going to be gone so long that I still had to work a bit each week at reduced hours as a way to keep my job, travel for a long time, and not work so much. Dad was preparing a course and also taking a class so we needed wifi STAT. I became frantic because I was not able to find a decent cell signal to be able to work and read my email. For some reason, we saw some berries to pick (one of our favorite activities in Sul Duc) and viola we stopped and had cell service. We decided to head back after a shower to do some work. We were literally working on the side of the road. A few people stopped and asked me where dispersed camping was (I happily gave them directions) and I was able to get all of my hours in for the week! It must've been a strange sight. Some lady with a laptop working on the side of a forest service road. Hey! Ya gotta do what ya gotta do! 

Working some WGU!

Ancient Groves Trail

Saturday brought one of my favorite days of the trip! Cousin Chris, Leigh, Sophia, and Jack visited us! We met at an aquarium downtown Port Angeles, had a charming lunch and shakes at Granny's, and ended the day at our lovely campsite where we had a BBQ. We had so many laughs, told stories, shared hikes, and caught up after not seeing each other for several years. The following morning we ate a big breakfast, had a laser tag battle, and went to Lake Crescent to swim and hang out. We wrapped the trip where it began. Shakes at Granny's. Granny was out of milk so we had to settle for sundaes. The highlight of the trip for me was probably not the highlight for Cousin Chris. His drone went rogue! Sophia had to hike through the water to get the drone and pull it out of the sky. Chris tried to power the drone down and it actually attacked him! So many wonderful memories were made that weekend and we are hopeful they can join us on more adventures. 

We loved Port Angeles.

Epic laser tag.

Beautiful trip to Lake Crescent 

Granny's!

The Sul Duc area wrapped up with another trip to Salt Creek for Tide Pooling, the viewing of hundreds of seastars, a trip to the visitor's center, a hike at Madison Falls, a seafood lunch, a jaunt down Elwah Valley, a visit to the Devil's Punchbowl with Mavis, and swimming at Lake Crescent. I was so terrified to swim in the lake because it was so clear and cold. It turned out to be a totally amazing and refreshing experience. 

SO MUCH TO SEE THIS DAY! This was the lowest tide we had for our entire trip. 

Madison Falls and Elwa Valley

Port Angeles day antiquing and eating seafood. 

Spruce Trail, Devil's Punchbowl, and Lake Crescent

Mavis on the Discovery Trail. She loved it so much! 

Berry picking and dessert creation.

Having wrapped up and thoroughly explored the Sul Duc area it was time to pack up and move to the beach. You both will probably remember me ugly crying as we left that campground. The truth is that we met some of THE BEST people at that campground. Our camp host, the man on a bike, was actually named Nolan. He was the best. He taught us how to find berries, told us stories about the area, and gave us good life advice. He really got me to stop stressing and slow down. I'm a nervous traveler and I want to see all the things. I want my children to see all the things. He gave me the advice, "Hurry less worry less." It really struck me. Slow down and enjoy. Nolan had chosen a life with less responsibility. In so many ways I am jealous of his simple life. He lives in a renovated school bus. He runs a campground. In other ways, I am glad that I have been given amazing opportunities for lots of responsibility in my life, but I had the luxury of taking three weeks away from all of that. Nolan helped me take that all in. In those 10 days at Sul Duc I think that it really pushed me to unplug and engage with my surroundings. What I noticed with all of us is that we were very comfortable being in the boonies. We were an hour away from anywhere. We were surrounded by giant trees and had a beautiful big space to stretch out and enjoy the forest. The campground really restored my faith in humanity. 

Quileute Oceanside RV Park 

We left Sul Duc the same way we came. Backward and slowly. We headed towards the coast. We were nervous about our next campground because it was actually an RV Park. We've spent a good amount of our camping career avoiding RV Parks. We love the ambiance of a good old-fashioned forest service campground. We stumbled upon the Oceanside RV Park while looking for two nights in a campground because I thought I had skipped a night of reservations. It turned out that I did not skip any nights, but Oceanside had an opening right on the ocean. Mora, our forest service campground, was not on the ocean. It was a short drive from it. We canceled our sites in Mora and decided to roll the dice on the RV Park.

  

Oceanside was IN a beautiful place. Right on First Beach with amazing views of the Pacific Ocean. The RV Park itself was not beautiful. It was a gravel parking lot with sites JUST wide enough for your camper. You were right next to your neighbor. Feet away. We were across from a line of port-a-potties, there were random people driving through at all hours of day and night, and it was nearly constantly damp, foggy, and cold. BUT, it was the perfect launching spot to relax by the ocean, watch the sunset, see whales, and explore other beaches in the area. 

Once we arrived in Oceanside we took in the ocean and sunset. The general store sold kites and I can see why. It was so much fun to fly kites on the beach. You also built sandcastles and loved the powdery sand that was as soft as baby powder. The following day we headed to the iconic Rialto Beach and hiked to the Hole in the Wall. There were hundreds of sea stars to view, tide pools, and many many people. Despite the vast amount of people we still enjoyed a 6-mile hike over the sand. 

This is a little side-story. I met this lovely lady who took a picture of our family. She was pretty salty because she had come to hike Hole in the Wall by herself because her family didn't join her. Little Brother of course stole her heart and it immediately reminded her teenage son who refused to join her on the hike. She had tears in her eyes as she gave me my phone back and reminded me to enjoy these days. I didn't need the reminder. I can't say that you kids annoyed me even one time on our journey. However, she reminded me to watch a little more closely. I watched as Little brother carefully chose only the smoothest rocks and snuck them in his pockets because he wasn't sure he could take them from the beach. I watched as he admired the vastness of the Pacific Ocean and walked along the beach. That made me a little misty. These days we had were so precious. For that lady's sake, I hope her son joined her on at least a couple of hikes. 

This beach was glorious

I'm forever grateful to that lady for taking this picture. 

The following day we did another beach hike to Second-Beach. The tide was not very low by the time we went to Second Beach, but that did not stop us from wading through the frigid ocean water to get to the island where there are thousands of sea stars. We stayed a bit too long and dad actually had to carry both of you over the ocean water river to the safety of the land bridge! 

Despite receiving mediocre reviews about the Hoh Rainforest I really wanted to go. For one, we still hadn't spotted a Banana Slug and I thought it would be the perfect location to find one, second, it is the whole reason I wanted to go to Olympic National Park because our reading series in second grade features a story about the Hoh Rainforest. We TRIED to follow the golden rule of National Parks which is getting to the location as early as possible. Sometimes we arrive before 8:00 AM. We were going to do the Ozette Triangle, but when we woke up it was rainy (again) and the rain looked pretty widespread so we turned right instead of left and headed to the Hoh Rainforest. We were planning to arrive around 9:00 AM which is still early, it was rainy which is a good time to visit, but it was a weekend. Things seemed to be smooth sailing because we encountered little to no traffic. So when we saw the sign for the Hoh Rainforest we decided to stop for a photo. Probably 9-11 cars zoomed past us while we took our photo. It wasn't long before we realized that stopping for that picture cost us a 30-minute wait in the car because even though it was only 9:00 AM there was a line to get into the Hoh Rainforest. We had heard 2 or 3 groups of people tell us that the Hoh Rainforest was not worth the wait. Drought and terribly high temps had taken a toll on the delicate ecosystem that is the rainforest.

We started the day out pretty salty. We had waited to get in, waited to park, and once we got in it was crowded. Thankfully, Little Brother was thrilled to find a salmon stuffed animal, and Baby Waider was ecstatic about the possibility of seeing a slug so we were energized to hit the trail. It was hot and humid by the time we really got going. We were so fixated on seeing a Banana Slug that we weren't even that excited to be on a hike. We hiked to the creek and saw baby salmon, but no slug. We hiked back to the rainforest and spotted a peculiar tree with bright orange mushrooms. Much to our surprise inside the trunk of that decaying tree was a bright green Banana Slug! Excited was an understatement. At that moment we all became pretty infatuated with the Hoh Rainforest.  We continued to hike through the moss-filled forest that smelled like citrus and wet grass. It was really gorgeous. We saw more slugs and several babbling brooks. 

Sadly, our final hike through the "Hall of Mosses" was crowded and annoying with people who come to the hot spots of the park and hurry through. These groups of people are not avid hikers, which is fine, but oftentimes they don't follow the common rules of hiking, like staying on the trails. Thankfully we survived and headed out of the rainforest waving to the nearly 100 people in line (we counted) and headed to a wonderful outfitter where we actually found our sizes in souvenir sweatshirts. We wrapped that day up by picking up Mavis, hiking to the largest cedar tree in Washington, and viewed the "Tree of Life" through heavy fog, wind, and rain. We rewarded ourselves with subpar ice cream from the Kalaloch Mercantile. 

Cousin Chris had given us several good pointers for our trip and one thing that had stayed with us was his recommendation to see Cape Alava. His words were, "it's out of your way, but well worth it." Out of our way meant a two-hour drive one way. UGH. The day after that we had to drive seven to get to Mount Rainier! We decided to take the trek despite the distance with our fingers crossed that it would be worth the long drive. Since we had such a long drive we didn't have time to do the nine-mile hike of the whole triangle so we had to pick one trail to do. We debated with other hikers and among ourselves and decided on doing the Cape Alava portion. We made the 3-mile hike in a record 60 minutes. That's our best time to date. Hiking at sea level has its advantages. 

Cap Alava was utterly magical. The trail was littered with slugs, wildflowers, and berries. It started out lightly raining which added to the ambiance and that smell! It is unlike any scent I've come across in my life. When we arrived at the coast we could hear seals barking and saw a GINORMOUS eagle, bald eagle, crane, crabs, and the list goes on and on. We had a picnic snack and found sea glass. It was one of the best hikes I've ever done and we had a blast on the eerily calm, but rugged coast. 

Little Brother was unaware that the long drive to Cape Alava was going to result in a 6-mile hike. We're not sure if he wasn't listening to the plan, was in denial of the plan, or if he wanted to bargain for a snack trip after the hike. Whatever the reasoning was Little Brother and dad decided that after our hike we would go to a gas station for a snack after the hike. A fact that Little Brother reminded us of every quarter mile of the hike. We wrapped up our hike, met a YouTuber who is walking from coast to coast, went to the bathroom, and found the most charming little general store we've ever seen. If traveling through Washington taught us one thing it was that a store called a General Store=High Prices. The store was spendy, but quaint with a delightful owner and wonderful snacks like Chico Sticks and Zingers. It was a magical day that filled our hearts with even more love of rainforests, the coast, sea stacks, and the Pacific Ocean. 

We returned to Oceanside to say our goodbyes to our incredibly close-in-proximity neighbors, grab a shower, and hit the hay so we'd be ready to begin our slow trip back east with our first stop being Mt. Rainier. That evening the fog/rain/mist cleared for the first time in three days which gave us the most breathtaking sunset and fantastic waves.

Cougar Rock, Mike & Vikki, and Elkamp 

We knew that we were heading toward a difficult situation at Cougar Rock. The trailer maximum for the campground was 27 feet. Our fifth-wheel is 35... We have fudged it before with our old camper. It was 25 feet and we could easily fit it into a spot for a 17 foot trailer. See, we had measured our camper and knew that as long as we could hang the back of the trailer over the back of the campsite we only needed 26 feet. We had practiced at several sites of different sizes and tightness at Center Lake. The spot we had booked at Cougar Rock was for a 21-foot trailer and our camper was always over the maximum length for the camper by 8 feet. So we went into this endeavor with a healthy amount of skepticism. I usually have a back-up plan going into these siutaitons, but I figured that we would find a way to make it work. We just had to get there before dark so we could work it all out. I just had to watch for dad to be sure that he didn't hit anything and we would find a way to get it into the spot. 

We arrived at Cougar Rock and it was hot and after 5. The camp hosts greeted us at the entrance of the campground and told us where our site was. He did not say much but he told us which loop was ours. We made the tight turns around gigantic trees and arrived at our spot. Behind us was the camp host yelling at us that we were over the length of the campground. I told him we were aware, but we wanted to try to fit. He obliged. We developed a plan and I started guiding dad into the spot. I watched as dad went over a rock that looked pretty tall. I tried to stop dad before he went down, but the camp host said  that dad would be fine. He would make it, he just had to go slowly. Sadly, the trailer started down the other side of the rock and just as I yelled stop the landing jack on the rear of the camper crashed into the very rock he was going over. Thankfully, I got him stopped before both wheels went over the rock because I'm not sure what would have happened if he kept going. The only thing that happened was a bent foot on the jack. Phew. By some miracle dad got the camper backed over the giant rock and got the truck and trailer back onto the road to give it another try. We did get the camper into the spot with absolutely no room on either side of the camper to open the slide and no room to park the truck. We were also terrified to try and get it out. Hot, exhausted, annoyed, and covered in dirt we left Cougar Rock defeated. The camp host only told us 10 times that our camper was too big for the campground. The iconic perfectly located campground would not fit our rig and we would have to make a longer commute into Mt. Rainier National Park. 

I feverishly began calling and pleading with any RV park that would answer the phone, which wasn't very many. I got a lot of answering machines or messages that the park was completely full. I was getting frantic with our giant trailer and no place to park it that was closer than 2 hours from the park. I remembered as we were driving into the park a house that had a sign that said, "camp here." I remembered the place because they had a big "Black Lives Matter" sign on their barn and I knew that that was a place with people with who I would align. 

Dad got gas and an absurd amount of snacks at the gas station and rather than trying to drive the truck and trailer around the tiny town I told him that I would "run" to the house that allowed camping. I did just that, in my Birkenstock slides, nonetheless. I arrived at the house (about half a mile away) out of breath and a bit frazzled. I described our situation and the people said that they weren't sure we would fit into their yard. I told them that we could make it work if we tried. They said they would help us out as much as they could and I started to cry. I wasn't crying because I was sad. I was crying because they were so very nice to me. Their kindness just overwhelmed me. I called dad and told him to come on down. It took him a bit to find the place and when he did he overshot the turn. I had no idea what he was doing, but he was about to drive completely off of the road, into a deep, deep ditch with a fire hydrant in the bottom of the ditch. I stopped him in the nick of time and determined that I actually could not wait to be parked for the night. Mike and Vikki helped get us parked in their backyard. Their "camp here" sign was actually meant for tents and they had the absolutely most adorable campground I've ever seen. Once our truck was parked they wanted to show us possibilities of where to park our camper. Also, it was twilight and the time when the elk wandered into their campground. Almost on cue, the elks started wandering through the property. As they showed us some options the owner agreed to cut some low-hanging branches so we would fit into their campground. As we toured and eventually tried to level our trailer I determined that it would absolutely not work to stay there. We were a record 4 inches off side to side! It was crazy. I don't know that campers are meant to be parked in pastures. The next morning I had to break it to your dad, who loved this place HUGE, that it wasn't really the place for us. I combed the internet and fortunately found Elkamp. I had seen them on the web before and I'm not sure why I had not called them the night before. Brian cheerfully answered the phone, but when I asked him if he had a spot for my 35 foot trailer he said, "I'm sorry. I have some spots, but you will have to move daily." 

I said, "Brian, I am a damsel in distress here. I have a generator and I need to be close to Rainier. We have hikes to do." 

He responded, "You have a generator? Is it quiet?" 

"As a mouse. 34 decibles." 

"Perfect. You can have site 12. It doesn't have electric." 

"For the week?"

"Yep! For the week!"

Ecstatic we got ready to move our camper. It wasn't without tears though because we had become besties with Vikki and Mike. They were the nicest people and given a little bit of time Vikki and I could have come up with solutions to solve all world problems. We hugged goodbye, exchanged information, and somehow guided dad out of the extremely tight backyard.  As we packed up Brian called me back. He forgot that he had a private event renting out the campground for the entire weekend. That meant we could be there for 3 days and that was it. Again, I am a tough negotiator. 

"Awe man! Do you have anywhere we could park? Just for a couple of nights?"

"Well...You could park in my front yard if you promise to stay out of the campground."

"Done." 

What began as a rather interesting relationship we fell in love with Elkamp. When the private party arrived they didn't even care if we moved out camper. They didn't plan on using the spot anyway. We decided to move to the front yard anyway because it would be nice to have power before we made the long trek home. It did prove to be very convenient and we did not have to deal with the generator as we packed to leave.

This is my favorite trip picture of the trip. This brings back warm fuzzy feelings of being out in the crisp night air as you two looked at pictures or videos from the days past adventures. 

As dramatic as our visit to Rainier started it became equally as amazing. We went to Ashford that evening for ice cream because, wow, we had had a day! The sky was so smokey it was unclear how much we could see of Rainier anyway. The following day we decided we would head up the Skyline Trail and begin our exploration of the giant volcano. 

My Facebook friend taught me about the Skyline Trail and I have wanted to do the trail ever since. I've called it a bucket-list hike. It's really the only hike I absolutely had to do on this trip! We arrived at an already crowded parking lot at 8:00 AM. There aren't words to describe the feeling and vibe at a trailhead of an infamous hike in the morning. Everyone is tying boots, packing bags. There's a buzz unlike anywhere else. Everyone is excited to see something new and exciting. There is a clear anticipation of adventure. It's sort of odd because MOST of the people hiking are younger than mom and dad and older than both of you. I read reviews and articles and chose to take the counter-clockwise approach to the trail. The trail was labeled as 5 miles, but as with all hikes on AllTrails you can generally add 2 miles to that. The elevation change was listed as 1800 feet. That's not too bad over 5 miles! I was confident we would be fine. For the most part we were. The uphill part was 1800 feet over 3.4 miles. The views were breathtaking and we took hundreds of pictures of our new favorite volcano. 

We bantered back and forth about how it would have been better to go clockwise rather than counter-clockwise because it was challenging. This was before we saw what the clockwise way was like. We got to touch and cross glaciers and see countless waterfalls and streams. It was one of the most memorable hikes I've ever done. Challenging, but fantastic. We did not meet any other kids your age on the hike which was extremely impressive considering neither of you even complained once about the hike. We had lots of laughs and after we went down the other side counter-clockwise was the best way to go. 

While near the top of the hike we ran into the camp host from Cougar Rock. I was hoping he wouldn't recognize us! What are the odds of running into someone you know on the top of the mountain in the middle of Washington?? I guess pretty good because he did recognize us. He was "happy" we found a spot to fit us and he knew we had because he had seen us camped at Mike and Vikki's. I couldn't help but laugh. See if I try to break some rules again!

Mt. Rainier National Park is fantastic! Cousin Chris explained it as the crown jewel of Washington and it is just that. Sadly, we had 1.5 days of seeing Rainier and then it went under the clouds. It was totally socked in. It was disappointing, but a park ranger told us that we hiked the Skyline Trail on one of the nicest days of the summer. We still hiked on the cloudy days. We went to Grove of the Patriarchs that had an amazing suspension bridge, Longmire, and drove the truck across a terrifying suspension bridge with an impressive view of Mount Rainier. We had a blast. We ate ice cream in Ashford and even had blackberry pie! 

The Nisqually Bridge was SO COOL!

Thimbleberries were in bloom when we were in Washington and they quickly became a family favorite. We enjoyed them fresh and even in pancakes one morning.  

Before we headed back to Rapid City we had the chance to meet up with my friend and coworker for ten years Chalu and her amazing family. We headed Evansville for lunch and playing at the park. It poured rain, but it was such a nice visit. It was like meeting a pen pal I've had for years. Our families immediately hit it off and I have no doubt that we will hang out together in the future.

Love this crew!

One Windshield Wiper in a Downpour and Many Mountain Passes

The ride home from a trip is a mixed bag. We were looking at a 15 hour drive on our first day. That's always pretty grueling, but we are all pretty much road warriors. Dad tacked numerous mountain passes and we even cleared a tunnel that was only 13 feet 8 inches! It was tense. Saying goodbye to Washington was sad, but before we knew it we were in the world's longest state, Montana. We opted for McDonald's for dinner which was absolutely delicious. I had to wait in the drive-through because the dining room was closed. Tall trailers and drive-throughs do not work so I stood in line between the cars. The sweet person who gave me my food was very concerned because a storm was heading our way. I was a bit worried because it looked rough. I told dad to hit it because we needed to get away from that storm. Thankfully we outran...that storm. However, we ran right into another storm. The beginning of the storm was a horrible gust of wind that blew the passenger side windshield wiper off of the truck. Then it began to pour. I couldn't see a thing, but dad could. 

On top of the storm, I kept getting notified that our destination was being evacuated for a fire. So the place where we were supposed to stay was getting evacuated. The RV Park wouldn't answer and no one in town knew what was going on. So while it poured and I couldn't see I called some other spots to see if they maybe had room for our camper and see if they had information on the fire and evacuation. I called a place in Big Timber, MT. The lady said she didn't have a spot with power, but she did have a spot where we could park. Dad was convinced that the rain wouldn't last forever and we would be fine getting to our campground because it was just 30 minutes away. It started to rain harder. Dad wanted to stop and check that our other wiper was secure and when he stopped the lady called back to tell me that she had checked with others in the town that was evacuated and the fire was 20 miles away from the town that was being evacuated so we could be evacuated in the night. She then offered her place again. This time we took it. 

When we arrived at her spot it was STORMING. She was very kind and showed us where to park...Again it was in her front yard. She was very kind and we were very grateful that our entire trailer is automatic now and controlled from our phone. We had it leveled in no time flat and waited out the storm during our last night of the trip. Dad and Baby Waider went out to watch the lightning in the distance while a spooked Little Brother and I played Trouble in the camper. We were exhausted, grateful, and a little sad that it was the last night we'd be out. We had made a zillion memories and it was definitely bittersweet to be on our way home. 

The following morning we ran into a few motorcycles and had a pretty uneventful trip home. We returned to a couple of Siamese cats who were thrilled to see us. Your awesome Halter grandparents hosted us for dinner which was amazing. Looking back it really was the trip of a lifetime. I will forever be grateful that we had the ability to take such a wonderful trip. Cousin Chris had sent me a message that I remember  often, "Travel is a great way to reset." I feel this to my soul. That's how I returned from our trip. Reset. There are good people out there. There are amazing things to see and I whole-heartedly hope I can take a trip like this every year. 

This post has taken several weeks to complete. Mostly because it has been a bit sad to look back at these pictures where we all look relaxed and happy. Things are a bit challenging right now. All of us have been sick. (Not Covid, but not sure what it is.) I think almost daily about moving to a different place far away from here. A place where people share my views. You know that because we do talk about it frequently. My roots here run deep, but more and more I am not sure how much longer I can raise you here. 

I love to read and I love to screenshot parts of books that speak to me. This quote has spoken to me over and over again. 

I'm not suggesting that I couldn't move there because it wouldn't be as magical as it was while we were on vacation, but I've realized it isn't the magic that I miss from Washington. It's the safety and control I had over both of you while we were there. We did lots of risky things where dad and I were able to determine the risks and take safety precautions. We could do our best to keep you safe. Now that we've returned here we are basically forced to have you take risks we are not comfortable with. You are in classrooms with lots of kids and no Covid precautions in place. No masks. You're not vaccinated. I know most people here do not share my views. Most of them don't care who gets sick, but you're mine. I want to keep you safe and healthy. So while I know returning to Washington would not fix everything right now I know that I would be back in control of your safety. For now, I will take time to reset when I look at these pictures, knowing that in less than a year we will be back to making fabulous memories. I will be comforted by knowing that a year ago I didn't think I would ever be vaccinated and I am now. I will take comfort in knowing that by this time next year it is likely that you will be vaccinated. I will also take a deep breath and remember all of the wonderful people I met. I will continue to believe that there is more good out there than evil. More people who care than don't. More people who love than hate. 

Love, 

Mom

 

Mrs. Christmas

Dear Little Brother, 

 It's been a whole year since you left Kindergarten, but let's just be honest. It's been quite a year. As with nearly everything I had the intention of writing a blog to you about the amazing Mrs. Christman, but I didn't get to it until now. It seems like 100 years ago that you went to Kindergarten screening. It was such a fun experience. You were so excited to go to Kindergarten. I remember as we walked out of your screening I asked you, "Well...What do you think of Mrs. Christman?" You said, "I think I would like to have Mrs. Christmas as my teacher. She was really nice!" It was so funny to hear you call her Christmas and not Christman. It was even stranger because I always knew Mrs. Christman as Miss Weiss. 

You loved Mrs. Christmas from the start! I can't remember the year that Miss Weiss started at PVE. What I do remember is that that poor teacher was what we call a "late hire." What does that mean? Often it means they end up with a tough class, little time to prepare, and a room far away from their colleagues. Mrs. Christmas took this like a champ. She started out during difficult circumstances and handled it like a pro. I'm so grateful that Miss Weiss was able to stick it out so that she could be your first teacher! 

 It is always pretty strange to have your child be in the class of a colleague. I'm always afraid that other teachers won't be honest with me about your behavior or what happens in class. That fear was tempered pretty quickly because Mrs. Christman had to report to me pretty early on in the year that you were catapulting crayons with a classmate during center time in class. Thankfully there weren't many more  reports like this and you mostly had good "colors." You loved to learn math and took right to reading. What amazes me the most in this world is what Kindergarten teachers are able to teach children. Mrs. Christman took a squirly five-year-old (you) and taught him to read, write, add, and subtract. She also taught you to love learning, sit in a chair, work with a group, and count up past 100. She also had 19 other students in the room at the same time. This is so amazing to me because even though I teach 7-9-year-olds I can't even imagine teaching Kindergarten. Mrs. Christman did all of this with a huge smile and kind words. 

Unfortunately for all of us, a pandemic hit at the end of your Kindergarten year. March 13, 2020, was your last day in the classroom until you were in first grade. Challenging doesn't even begin to describe how it all felt. Home-schooling was pretty awful. Within the first hour of "home-schooling", you accused your mother and a twenty-year teaching veteran of "not ever teaching any kids anything." Pretty sure I said some less than kind words during that time. What it all boiled down to was that I wasn't Mrs. Christmas. "Mom, this isn't how Mrs. Christman does it. I miss Mrs. Christman." That went right to my core. I've heard a quote that there is no substitute for a good teacher and sadly when it was time for me to be the sub I just didn't meet up to the expectations of a six-year-old student who had the rug completely pulled out from under him. I am grateful that I didn't meet the expecations of Mrs. Christman. It made me feel that much better about how great of a teacher she was. Despite your school year ending with helping your mom load up Pete and Ginger while quickly taking down as much stuff as possible you managed to still be able to read, write, and do math relatively well. I will forever be grateful for Mrs. Christman for all she did to help you grow your kindergarten year and I'll always be a bit sad that you didn't get the 2.5 months of that year.

I'm so grateful I was able to snag this shot the LAST DAY of THIS year! Benny and Mrs. Christman, aka, Mrs. Christmas.

Love you, 

Mom 

Mrs. K.

Dear Baby Waider,

Each year around teacher appreciation or within that general time frame I like to take a moment to highlight all of the great things about your teacher for the past year. I'm always in so much awe regarding how much of an impact teachers have on my own children. It seems odd that it surprises me at all given the fact that I have been a teacher for 21 years and lots of parents have shown me much appreciation over the years. Cards, gift cards, cookies, wine, water bottles, and coffee are common appreciation gifts from parents all so very grateful for all I've done for their child. I don't think much of it because I'm doing a job I love. I love the kids and their families and it honestly is my great honor to do these things. I used to hate when teachers would say this, but as a parent, I am completely in awe of all that teachers do for my own children. 

Mrs. K. was someone who will inevitably be etched into your brain as one of your favorite teachers. School is and probably always will be your jam. You seem to love to learn, read, help others, and do math. Mrs. K. carefully balanced having you do your best and pushing you while still allowing you to be a kid with singing and dancing. You soared academically and had fantastic growth in math and reading. You also found a deep love of writing and creating lots of different drawings just for fun. 

Academics are important and as a teacher, I love seeing test scores increase. (I cannot lie. I want you to do well on tests even though I want to not value test scores.) Mrs. K. created a magical classroom for you. You had an absolute blast with everything. She shared a piece of her life with you and even had her husband, Mr. K. sub! You loved to hear about her dog, Patty, and truly fell in love with reading through her read-aloud of The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane. You have always loved working with numbers, but Mrs. K. made you feel like a true math genius because of how well second-grade math clicked for you. She let you do pick-a-projects, fake news stories, dances, and singing. You are always pretty serious at school, but it was always so much fun to see with Mrs. K. with a big grin on your face.  

It was fascinating to have you be in Mrs. K.'s class because not only was she your teacher, but she was also my co-worker and had been for two years previously. I loved Mrs. K.'s energy and had mad respect for her dedication to the job. Mrs. K. is amazing at self-evaluation. She's always working to see what she can do differently or better. I love her tenacity and willingness to give her students 110%. Last year we were able to do team teaching with two classes in the same room with two teachers teaching. We did a lesson together which was amazing because I was able to spy on you as a student. To say I was impressed would be an understatement. You worked so hard and put your whole heart into the project. We were researching animals. During the lesson, Mrs. K. said something that has stuck with me because it completely embodied her as a teacher. She said, "I'm giving this much. (She signaled with her hand well above her head.) I am asking you to give me the same. I'm giving you 100% of what I've got and I need you to give me the same. If you give me the same you will learn, but you have to meet me there." Teaching with Mrs.K. has made me a better teacher. It's hard to work alongside someone who is so motivated and not do the same. She taught you the value of giving your all during the school day. Your academic gains proved that to be true. She was a fantastic role model for you.

My first principal, Mr. Olson, loved to give nuggets of information. It's amazing how much I've drawn from that advice to lead me in my life. He said that teachers are the best during their third-fifth year of teaching. They know enough to know what they're doing, but they are still humble because they haven't been at it very long. I am so so grateful that you got Mrs. K. as your teacher during that time. She came to your dance recital, basketball game, called you during quarantine, and talked to you on the phone as you skated around the culdesac.  She was your biggest cheerleader and encouraged you to help people out when you see they needed you.   Most recently she was home sick, but you wanted to share a story with her and she graciously took your call and took the time to discuss your writing with her. Mrs. K. loves teaching and that just oozes out of her. 

You could be wondering why it took me nine months to write this post. Honestly, it's because I was so shaken up last spring with the cancelation of school. Part of me felt sad to lose time with my own class, but a bigger part of me was devastated that you didn't get to finish second-grade. It was magical having you be in the same grade-level I taught. I loved that my good friend and colleague was your teacher. Losing that broke my heart and it was really hard to reflect upon that. When we returned to school this past you were no longer a toothless second-grader. You didn't get to do all of the rights of passage that all of my former second-graders were able to do. Rally Day, field trip to Bear Country, and the last few months of being in second-grade were stolen. It was saddest for me because I loved you being able to work with not only Mrs. K., but with auntie, and Miss Selfridge. You loved being pushed in the intervention groups and being with different classes and working with all of the teachers. The end of that was really tough for me. I love my second-grade team and was so excited to have my own daughter benefit from their greatness. When school was cancelled on March 13th you lost so much that you won't ever get back. Fortunately you still get to see Mrs. K. everyday! You even get to help her afterschool sometimes which you especially love. 

I sadly do not have any pictures of you with Mrs. K. I'll add that to my to do list on Monday. For now, here are some pics of the fabulous Mrs. K., our second-grade team, and a couple of you in second grade. 

This was the last grade-level art project before we left school for the year. You can see Mrs. K. behind you. I wish I would have taken one with you with her!!!! 

Mrs. K. takes our holiday contest very seriously. We all do! LOL. 

Mrs. K. is so much fun!

Goofing around with mom

Your teachers and my friends. I'm so glad they ALL were a part of your year. Such a great group of women.

Art party with Auntie!

I'm so glad you got to go to the Art Party.

We dress like we're 100 in second-grade for the 100th day.
You hated it. LOL. 

The second-grade team takes the 100th Day very seriously. 

This was your picture in 100 years using the Age Me App. 

Matching clothes with Kitt and Auntie!

Virtual learning was awful. Even with a good teacher it was awful. You can see on your face that you were not having a great time. 

You wrote Mrs. K. a letter for teacher appreciation and you really summed it up nicely. You write, "You inspired me to want to be a teacher."

Love this and love your writing.

Thank you, Mrs. K. You will always hold a special place in the Waiders' hearts. 

Love, 

Mom

 

Gratitude

Dear Baby Waider + Little Brother Too,

Be grateful for what you have. Be gracious. Show gratitude. Dad and I are always telling the two of you these statements. Today the temps have been hovering between a -5 and a -8 so it's strange that gratitude is on my mind. It's not like it's Thanksgiving. We've been essentially cooped up for a week straight aside from going to school and being cooped up there with more people and noise. In fact yesterday they canceled school because it was too cold. With the windchill, I believe it was around -45. This morning I ran outside to get something out of a car and it felt...warm? At least in the sun. Dad went outside as he does no matter what and cleared some snow and determined that you guys could go sledding. He got the ice shack sled and we pulled it over to the park. The two of you had a blast. I walked Mavis to the park to meet you. The funny thing about when it snows is that it sort of puts a blanket over the world and makes it quiet and peaceful. Pair that with frigid temps and there are not that many people out. It was too cold for headphones and listening to a podcast because wires just snap in weather like this so I was really left to the quiet and my thoughts. I think that's why I went to gratitude.

Recently while planning for future lessons I see the ones that we completed back when we had no idea that the year was about to abruptly end for face-to-face learning and also the lessons that we attempted to deliver to families remotely. It's sort of been a reminder that last year was traumatic. Your school-year ended with no warning. You left your friends and teachers never to return to that classroom again. You didn't get to see your grandparents and other family members indoors in the typical ways you used to. It's been such a strange year. By year I mean March 13, 2020 to March 13, 2021.  I've spent a good amount of time being salty this year.  I've been salty about school being canceled and not getting to have the last of the school year in with my students, I was salty about no one listening to my concerns about the pandemic all summer, I was salty that we couldn't get a mask mandate anywhere in this town, or in our school district, and most recently I'm salty that I was told I'd have a vaccine by three weeks ago...I'm still not vaccinated. I've been teaching face to face for six-months. Sigh... Salty!

Admittedly I've veered from gratitude, but I'm getting to that. Today as the snow crunched under my boots (one of my top favorite sounds) my heart felt warm. Mostly because I had on appropriate layers, but also because I'm so incredibly grateful for so much. I'm grateful that I still have my health. I'm grateful for my children being in school this year with teachers who love them and have helped them grow socially and academically. I'm grateful that I still have a job I love and coworkers I love just as much. I'm grateful that despite all that's going on in the world we've still made some incredible memories the past year. 

Despite major political upheaval, contentious protests, an election, an insurrection, and a pandemic this past year has had some pretty amazing moments. Today I was reflective and took the time to really enjoy all that went so well. Which I will need to draw from for the next few weeks because Trump was acquitted...Again. I'll refrain from going into that. 

I love you both, 

Mom

 

Inauguration Eve

Dear Baby Waider + Little Brother Too,

January 20, 2021. It is a date I've been waiting for since January 20, 2017. It has been a long, hard-fought battle to get to this day. I'll never forget the night after the inauguration in 2017. It rained. In South Dakota. In January. This is just not typical. It was the perfect metaphor for how I was feeling. Even the sky was crying. Dad and I were chatting in the hot tub as it rained. It was easier to cry because of how hard it was raining. It all just ran down my face. Dad and I had discussed what the next four years would bring. We were nervous about living near an airforce base during what could become a contentious time in our world. Dad can generally temper my concerns with some practical, less fantastic theories, but he was genuinely concerned when it came to the Trump presidency. Spoiler alert. I'm dramatic. Always have been dramatic. I am informed but dramatic. I knew that 2017-2021 was going to be quite a ride. I truly didn't know what it meant, but I felt certain uneasy anxiety that night after the inauguration. I would call it dread. This morning I am reflective of how I felt that day/night. I reluctantly decided to google, "The worst parts of the Trump Presidency." Not because I wanted to reaffirm what I was feeling, but to validate that if I were to look back on the last four years (pre-pandemic), would I really think that this presidency was THAT BAD? Spoiler alert: I still think it's crazy. I actually think it's crazier. The list was beneficial for me to give you a synopsis of why I am so ready for the past 4 years to be over. 

1. Child Separation Policy

2. Withdrawal from the Paris Climate Agreement. 

3. Attacks on the Affordable Care Act. 

4. Racism.

5. Enlisting foreign officials to help his candidacy.

6.His use of the treasury to line his own pockets. 

7. Handling...would we say he handled it? the COVID-19 Pandemic.

8. Regressive changes to the tax code.

9. Inhumane immigration policies. 

10. Lies. 

Four years ago this very weekend, I lamented the loss of my most favorite president from office. I cried many tears when Obama left the office for so many reasons. He was a man who gave me hope in our country. He made me feel like this country was a place I could bring my children into. He restored my faith in the system. He was not perfect, but he was so endearing and kind. I always risk going off on an Obama tangent whenever we talk politics, so let me snap back into focus.

You'd think that four years later, I would be elated about the inauguration of Obama's VP, Joe Biden. THE FIRST FEMALE VP!!!! You would think that would be enough to be ecstatic. Rather. I feel tentative. Skeptical. Fearful. You will most certainly remember the riots that happened on January 6, 2021. It is now officially called the insurrection. Even more than a riot, really. It was yet ANOTHER night where I watched a continuous loop of news and analysis on the event. Before I go too much into that, I've realized that I haven't even blogged about the 2020 Election. Processing our world seems to take more and more time because nothing is certain and nothing is simple. So I feel like commenting too soon about these events will leave out critical details that show the whole picture. Here is my timeline (as I remember it) *Full disclosure-I drank FAR TOO MUCH on election night, which ultimately has clouded my memory.

November 3, 2021

I go to work as usual. Check the news at lunch. Polls are open, and high voter turnout. That makes me happy. High turnout is good for the Democrats. My class engages in normal election day activities. We were also preparing for Veteran's Day, so we engaged in awesome patriotic crafts. Again-I felt encouraged and happy. I love to listen to music in class as we work. I put on a patriotic rock playlist. It was mostly Brooks and Dunn and Bruce Springsteen. I hadn't noticed that the playlist had ended, and the music stopped. We continued to work, and then, out of nowhere, "Philadelphia Freedom" begins to play...Instantly I was euphoric. For a month, I had heard that it would all come down to Pennsylvania. It was almost as if Sir Elton John himself had told me that it would be okay. Philadelphia would save the election!

I went home and began my last shift with the DFL at 4:00 PM. I sacrificed watching the news that night (which, as you know, takes a lot) so that I could call as many voters as I could before the polls closed. I worked until 6:00 PM. I felt relieved, proud, and scared shitless.

Polls close, and results roll in—Florida trends for Trump much more than expected. I start drinking Miller Lite Pounders. 

Polls continue to look bleak. Cousin Brook announces he's going to bed. The anchor people remind us that there are lots of votes left to count. I continue to consume Miller Lite Pounders. I start to cry.

Minnesota is called for Biden. The district I did the most work for is a solid blue. I feel SLIGHTLY BETTER. Many states are too close to call. I stay up, no longer consuming Miller Lites praying for a glimmer... The only thing I hear is votes are still being counted. Unsurpassed mail-in votes. Still too close to call in lots of places. House Democrats did not do as well as anticipated. Senate is clearly not a sweep as Democrats hoped. Votes are still being counted. 

Biden addresses the nation, urging us to not lose hope. He's got this. The votes are being counted. Democracy can be messy. 

Trump addresses the nation, and I'll just paste a direct quote from his speech because paraphrasing him is difficult. "An unfortunate group of people is trying to disenfranchise [those voters who voted for me], and we won't stand for this ... We'll be going to the US Supreme Court, we want all voting to stop. We don't want them to find any ballots at 4:00 in the morning and add them to the list ... As far as I'm concerned, we already have won this."

I go to bed annoyed that this election wasn't the type of election night that Obama gave us. He won so big so quickly that we were often in bed by 9:30 certain of where the country was going for the next four years. I'm also annoyed because the current president refused to acknowledge that the votes counted were legitimately cast and deserved to be counted! I'm going to give you my normal caveat. I've been a political junkie for years. My current dream is to have Kasie Hunt's job. You will remember her as the host of "Wayy too Early for This," the podcast we listen to every morning. I would love to be a correspondent and spit politics all day long. In all of my years of clinging to the news, I have always had mad respect for a unifying concession speech. John McCain's is the most memorable in recent history. “I urge all Americans who supported me to join me in not just congratulating him, but offering our next president our goodwill and earnest effort to find ways to come together,” McCain said, “to find the necessary compromises, to bridge our differences and help restore our prosperity, defend our security in a dangerous world, and leave our children and grandchildren a stronger, better country than we inherited.” McCain wanted to be president badly, but he acknowledged that he lost to Obama. He did not accuse those of us who voted for Obama as not casting legal votes. There is such a difference between how Trump acts as opposed to other modern-day politicians.  I went to bed disgusted. 

November 4, 2020

I wake up to Gail King, still wearing an adorable yellow dress. The same one she had on the night before. You both noted that she, in fact, had been up all night. The AP called Arizona (NBC did not). Along with my coworkers, we continue to monitor the election during lunch and after school. Michigan and Wisconsin are inching closer to a win all day long. I believe at lunch, Michigan is called, and I run and hug Miss Selfridge as she tells me this. This is shocking because of COVID. It was a Cornoafoul, but totally worth it. That evening it is clear that Michigan and Wisconsin are a win. I go to bed around 7:30PM feeling optimistic. 

November 5-6, 2020

More states called, claims about fraud are being brought up more and more with no proof. A win for Biden seems to be a clear win.

November 7, 2020

Oddly straightening my hair, I really don't know why because I was getting ready to walk Mavis. I receive a message from my good friend, JoLisa Hoover. It says that Joe Biden is the projected winner of the 2020 election...BECAUSE OF PENNSYLVANIA. I immediately acknowledge that Elton John was right, ask Alexa to play "Philadelphia Freedom," dad and I crack a Mich Ultra, and we CELEBRATE! One of the most memorable clips of that day was Kamala Harris, who was out for a jog, and finds out that they won. She calls Joe and says, "We did it, Joe, we won, you're going to be president of the United States." I acknowledge that Kamala is not just talking about her and Joe, but all of us who resisted and worked the past 3.5 years. We head to the lake for some boating with a significantly lighter heart. That evening Joe Biden and Kamala Harris deliver an inspiring speech. All seems okay.

The days that follow the elation that was felt on November 7th become less and less as we hear the current president deny that he lost the election. He continues to be a poor loser whining and complaining that the election was stolen. He rallies his supporters to feel the same. I proceed to ignore the president because he seems to be increasingly crazier than the day before. I catch bits and pieces of the lawsuits regarding the election, but I chose to trust that Biden won the election. Tons of crazy conspiracies were floating around, but I chose to focus my energy elsewhere, like getting the two senators in Georgia elected.

January 4, 2021

Dad's birthday. We had eaten dinner and cake. It was the night before the Georgia election. CBS News sent me a push on my phone. It was President Trump speaking before the Georgia election. I was appalled by what I heard. Blatant lies about the election. He was basically getting people all stirred up about Biden not legitimately winning the election. He told his supporters that they wouldn't quit until they won. We listen to the entire disgusting speech. Really horrified by what we heard. 

January 5, 2021

Election results pour in. We watch as the percentages change on the New York times site. Warnock and Ossoff are doing well, better than I expected. I had to slow my obsessing over the results because Baby Waider stuck her hand in the back of the door just as Little Brother was slamming it, resulting in the breaking of her middle finger. To say it looked like a cartoon is an understatement. Thankfully dad drove in a way that got her to the doctor before they closed at 8 PM, got an x-ray, and understood what we needed to care for her finger. Aside from being extremely upset about not playing on the monkey bars for a few weeks, Baby Waider was unscathed by the event. Both mom and dad are exhausted by giving the threat "Someone is going to get hurt" and being ignored. "Quit messing around with the doors!" I hope both of you learned a valuable lesson. Election results continue to pour in. I go to bed with Ossoff behind by only a little over 300 votes. Warnock is the presumed winner. 

January 6, 2021

CBS News continually sends me pushes of major, and not so major events as they occur. They sent me a push that Ossoff and Warnock were the projected winners of South Carolina's election. Shortly after that, a push that stated President Trump was addressing his supporters. Shortly after that push another push that had clips of the address with these quotes. “If you don’t fight like Hell, you’re not going to have a country anymore;” “When you catch somebody in a fraud, you’re allowed to go by very different rules;” “You’ll never take back our country with weakness.” Then, finally, the push that the protest had moved to the Capitol. I waited for what seemed like a bazillion hours for school to get out so that I could begin my news binge. That binge carried on for days, really. We are still getting reports about what happened if Congress members were involved, who is responsible, and the President was impeached a second time. What we know is that it was an insurrection. This was an attempt to overthrow the government. What is interesting is that the videos of the insurrection show men with Trump flags and confederate flags. Scenes that are kind of common around here. Little Brother actually thought that it was a video of Pierre because we saw so many people in Pierre this summer with the Trump Flags and confederate flags. President Trump was impeached a second time and it is actually unclear what will happen now. A conviction by the Senate seems improbable, but time will tell. In my opinion, it is clear that the president emboldened his supporters to orchestrate an insurrection at the Capitol. He thought that he would stay in power if the Senate did not confirm the election results. 

So, that pretty much brings us to today. January 17, 2021. Three days to the inauguration. We're taking the day off to watch all of the happenings! I guess the events leading up to this have me feeling less enthusiastic than I want to feel. The Capitol is full of National Guard, the White House has a huge fence around it, and no one can even get near where the inauguration will occur. This is so different than what it has been like during past inaugurations and not just because we are living through a global pandemic. 

One year ago, I would not have believed this past year. Here are a few tidbits I've learned over the past 10 months. 

1. I know who most of the governors are from the 50 states. I never really thought I would be able to hear a governor's name and then know which state they are in charge of. Jim Justice? That's West Virginia. Mike DeWine? Ohio. Andrew Cuomo? New York.  I even know some mayors! Bill de Blasio? New York City! Eric Garcetti? Los Angeles.

2. I also know many of the Representatives in Congress and which state they are from. I am usually pretty good with Senators, but not Representatives. 

3. Insurrection. 1. I didn't know what this was. 2. I would have not really thought it was even a thought during this day and age. I thought that, as AMERICANS, we had respect for our governmental system. 3. I thought that we were UNITED in our belief that it is an individual who runs this country, but the constitution follows. Might doesn't make right in these instances. We have a system of checks and balances. An acknowledgment of right and wrong.  Winner and loser. Each state runs its own elections. I was sadly mistaken in regards to all of this. 

4. Until now, we've taken the "peaceful transition of power" for granted. I will forever remember the people who enabled Trump to carry on and on about the election being stolen when it wasn't. It was unpatriotic, and it wasn't true. Saying it doesn't make it true. People starting working against the election of Trump on January 21, 2016. The fact that he lost in 2020 is not surprising. Before this event, I am not sure that I ever wondered if there would be a peaceful transition of power? It always seemed to be a given. I don't think we will ever feel that way again. 

5. I don't know what is next. I keep thinking that now we can go back to the status quo. I'm increasingly unsure what that means. I hope that I can watch the news without cringing, but I can't be convinced that that will happen right away. 

6. I have mad respect for (many) people who choose to serve in these public political positions. It has proven to be dangerous, constantly critical, and unforgivingly scrutinizing. I often wish they would do more but seldom do I acknowledge how brave they are doing to what they've done—specifically Liz Chaney and Nacy Pelosi. I do not always agree with them, but the past week has proven that they are fearless. 

7. I have mad respect for (most) journalists. They continue to ask hard questions and report on events even when they are in danger. Many of them provide us with facts and information that we would not otherwise get. They are a crucial part of keeping our government in check. They have had a difficult job these past four years. They have been called horrible names and unfairly criticized. They have been made the villain when that is not the truth. 

8. Alternative Facts. I remember LOLing when Kellyanne Conway told Chuck Todd on Meet the Press the Sunday after the 2017 inauguration that the inauguration crowd's size was alternative facts. This meant that while the photos and actual numbers showed one thing, the Trump administration touted and propagated that it was larger than Obama's inauguration crowd. Little did I know that alternative facts were the new norm. Lies would be accepted and spread wildly. 

9. I do not know where this leaves us as a country.  Divided is an understatement. I don't pretend to understand the opposition.  The "us and them" mentality is debilitating, and I am not sure how we come together again. I think, for now, I'll take it case by case and day by day. We will be forced to forgive and find ways to navigate with those we do not and have not agreed with. I'm not convinced we can heal from this. I know that Joe Biden said that we are in a battle for this great nation's soul. I want to believe that he can win this battle, but I am just not so sure. I'm afraid we could be a nation without a soul. 

10. Accountability. I have spent my life making 8-10-year-olds accountable for their actions.  Tell the truth. Be nice. Be a bucket filler! Have empathy. Show compassion. Help your classmate who is struggling. Accountability for "some" is out the window. If you have money, the right color skin, the right gender, and know the right people, you can do as you choose with little consequence. Until we can hold people accountable, we cannot have unity. I heard that on a podcast, and I believe it whole-heartedly. 

I so often ask myself what the children of this crazy time will remember? What will you both remember? I'm not entirely sure. You are more politically engaged than most kids, and you also helped me make a killer display for the inauguration. Photos below. 

You are filled with excitement and optimism. You both have high hopes for the future. I hope your generation does better than mine did because if I had to give my generation a grade for saving the country, it would be an F. I'll leave you with this quote from one of the many shows I watched this morning.  "Inauguration is a great reopening in our country." Here's hoping we have a successful reopening.

Love Always, 

Mom

Time to Admit Defeat

Dear Baby Waider + Little Brother Too,

As the days of 2020 drag on I keep thinking the same thing over and over again. We are living through history. We will learn from this. We will come out better. Those are uniquely American thoughts and outlooks. I have come out of the past 9 months jaded, frustrated, defeated, and disappointed. Along with all of these feelings I also feel an incredible sense of rejection from my school district, city, and state. I've always felt pretty alienated. A blue dot in a sea of red. Reading my blog long before this one you know that if nothing else my life is just a series of connections that I make. Today I am channeling Baby from the Movie "Dirty Dancing." You will have seen that movie with me because it is my favorite. It is not entirely appropriate for tweens, but that's when I saw it and look at how I turned out? Anyway, the quote "You were right, Johnny, you can't win no matter what you do." A defeated Baby is responding to Johnny because she had tried all along to help various problematic situations. This quote is the culmination of her working her butt off to help people, but in the end  she isn't really able to make that much of an impact. She's defeated.

I feel like I have been one of the many "Chicken Littles" in our state. Instead of saying, "The sky is falling!" I've been saying, "We need masks or this spread will be out of control. We need lockdowns! We need to stay home. We need to reduce capacity in stores, restaurants, and bars. We need to extend our school breaks to provide adequate time to quarantine before and after families get together for the holidays." I have written letters, made phone calls, and public posts on Twitter and Facebook. The same thing has happened time and time again. Some agree, some disagree, and the people who are indifferent ultimately listen to the LOUD minority that is in favor of money over people. 

This has been a stark reminder of the fact that I am a ridiculously privileged person. I can tell this is the truth by how deeply disappointed I am in how I'm being treated by so many elected officials, business owners, and positions of authority. This morning I recognized how similar I am to Baby. Don't worry everyone. I never conned my dad into paying for someone else's abortion. The traits I do share with her is the belief that I can help solve problems. I am a hard worker, but I also have my race and social class working for me. It was easy for me to buy a house or anything else I wanted to. I went to a high-quality school because my parents paid for me to get a stellar education. College was a breeze for me because I won scholarships and my rigorous high school made it simple to complete my college work and also college work for others. (That's a story for another day.) My point in saying this is that I don't take no for an answer. I've tried to be the type of person who helps out when I can. I don't pretend to think that I make a huge impact, but little by little I'd like to think that I make small differences for people who matter to me. Just like Baby. I wonder if she ever did go to Peace Corps?

This past summer I dedicated my life to making schools and communities safe during COVID. I thought through my union work, contacting school officials and boards, contacting the governor and state legislators, begging the Rapid City Council to deliver a mask mandate, and even networking with other moms who felt the same way I did would make it so we could go back to school safely. I urged Sturgis City Council members to stop the Rally from coming. I wrote countless letters to my own school board to adjust the back to school plan for safety. I listened to HOURS upon HOURS of zoom city meetings, school board meetings, legislative hearings, and union meetings. I gave input to everyone who would listen and I forced input on those who refused to listen. I was taught early on by your grandparents that if you don't like something you work to change it. You put your mind to it and you do something about it. I've staunchly lived this value my whole life. I have always been one to take on a cause and make something happen. I am persuasive and I am relentless. I don't take no for an answer. 

But...for the first time in my life I am met with...adversity. I'm being ignored, passed over, and completely disregarded. I'm not alone. I am with an entire group of people in this state and country that are experiencing the same thing. Retrospectively I see that I was either yelling into an echo chamber where people felt the same way I did or I was yelling into a vacuum where my voice was muffled long before it got to anyone's ears who disagreed with my feelings. Today I realize that what I've experienced during the past nine months is what people of color and women have been experiencing for decades. It's entirely frustrating and exhausting. 

This morning I am deeply regretful for all of the hours I essentially wasted this summer trying to make a difference where there was absolutely no chance I was going to make a difference. No matter how many letters I wrote, no matter how many phone calls or facebook posts I made I wasn't going to make things any safer for anyone. If I could go back to myself in June I would tell myself to admit defeat much earlier than I did. I want to tell that woman to enjoy every second you have where you are living in a safe bubble because those days are limited. I want to tell her to let go of the notion that when the pandemic is raging in South Dakota you will be safe at home because someone, anyone would step in long before 2,000 new cases would be added per day. Someone would stop this madness long before 1,000 South Dakotans would die. I would tell myself that I needed to prepare to know multiple people who would contract this virus, die from this virus, and ultimately recover from this virus. I would also tell myself that I would love being back in school with the students. In many ways it is like we've never left. We're doing lots of the same things we've always done only now it is with masks on and the dull thought in the back of our minds that people we know and love are battling this virus as we live our lives like there isn't a pandemic. I had no idea back in June that our community would become so callous and obstinate against science. I thought that elected officials and administrators would have our safety and best interest in mind, but time and time again that does not seem to be the case.  Jump ship. Quit trying. It doesn't matter. Enjoy your summer and quit trying to make anyone believe that we need mitigations because as I type this today I know it's only going to get worse. 

A good number of people here still aren't taking this seriously. The advice of the White House Corona  Virus Taskforce has advised that people in our state constantly mask when indoors. We are not to gather in large groups and capacity of indoor places like bars and restaurants. We have not adopted any of those recommendations formally because of our "freedoms" here. Our governor went to the NFR in Texas this weekend to shout into her echo chamber about how successful she's been at preserving our freedom here in South Dakota and having such low numbers of virus and deaths. What her echo chamber does not probably know is per capita. South Dakota has one of the smallest populations in the country. Comparatively we have some of the highest deaths and infection rates in the country. To compare you can look at Vermont. Similar population to South Dakota. They rely on tourism, animal products, and farming for their economy. (Note they also have a strong manufacturing faction as well which we are lacking.) Vermont has had 4,894 TOTAL COVID cases and 79 Deaths TOTAL. South Dakota has 14.43 times more infections at 85,304 TOTAL COVID Cases and 13.81 times more deaths at 1,091 deaths TOTAL. Today Vermont has 22 people in their hospitals in their entire state. Of that number 4 are in the ICU. Today South Dakota will celebrate that hospitalizations are down because we have ONLY 512 people in the hospital. That's down from what has been closer to or over 600 people. I can't keep track anymore what the records are anymore. The reason our hospitalizations decrease is we have between 30-53 deaths almost daily. Today we have 110 people across the state in the ICU. So while there are 4 families in Vermont sitting on pins and needles while their loved ones battle for their life like never before there are 110 families in that position in SD today. That's 27.5 times more than our Vermont friends are experiencing. Twenty-two Vermont families have loved ones who aren't with them enjoying Christmas decorations and are likely alone in the hospital. SD has 512. If you like math like me that's 23.27 times more families suffering in our state.  Meanwhile our governor is in the public eye, speaking to her base, and celebrating HER version of freedom. We live in a military community so we often see or hear the quote, "All give some, some give all." That's in reference to the military protecting our freedom. That's also the sad case here when describing how we are handling COVID. Some have literally died protecting what some view as their freedom to go out, not mask, and gather with family and large groups. 

The White House Coronavirus Taskforce says  that schools are not a source of spreading this virus. That has stuck with me all weekend. While I agree that it isn't as prevalent as my personal prediction was in August the number of children infected in our state is stark. On Friday it was 12,160. Ages 0-19. For those who love math that's 2.48 times more than the TOTAL infections that Vermont has. Also, its 946.46% increase since August 4th. That's just in South Dakota. I don't know how many children ages 0-19 have been infected in Vermont. It's probably because in the past 9 months they've had as many total cases as SD has in four days. It's also interesting to note that the most students in Vermont are partially or fully remote learning. They are having an increase of 120 cases per day, the same amount Pennington County has in one day in SD and we mostly have in person learning, full time, face to face. Stark differences in mitigation and leadership. Much different results and preservation of life. 

My heart aches because I partially feel like I didn't do enough for the people who have been sick, died, or lost loved ones. I should have tried to do more to protect the people who will still become infected.  I also feel like I probably made it worse by constantly asking for more protections which ultimately emboldened my opposition. This post sounds like I'm asking for sympathy and pity which is absolutely not my intent. I just want the both of you to know that I tried my ass off to make this better than it turned out. It just didn't work. When the people of 2120 ask what was done during this time, I want you both to know that your family really did try to make it better.

The rest of the conversation between Johnny and Baby went like this:

Baby: So I did it for nothing. I hurt my family, you lost your job anyway! I did it for nothing!

Johnny: No, not for nothing, Baby! Nobody has ever done anything like that for me before!

Baby: You were right, Johnny, you can't win no matter what you do!

Johnny: You listen to me; I don't want to hear that from you, you can!

I can't help but be a little inspired by Johnny Castle this morning because from all of these hours I spent advocating and fighting I've also met some really cool people. I've connected with like-minded South Dakotans that exist in numbers I never thought possible. I am not safe by any means, but I am in agreement some pretty great people. We may not win this fight, but with the network I'm now a part of we might be able to win some we couldn't have before. Baby did not change the negative opinions and disrespect directed towards the hard-working, blue-collar dancers who worked at Kellerman's Resort. The rich patrons there never saw past themselves to see the people behind the "entertainment staff." She did make a difference to Johnny. I'd like to think that she possibly changed his life? Made him believe in himself? Maybe he went on to pursue an acting career?  I think I need to acknowledge while I didn't change minds of large groups of people I did make impacts that are not as easily recognizable...Engaged other teachers or citizens to contact elected officials. Made others aware and got them to pay attention! Your dad was talking to me after I gave him the summary of my blog and said something that made a lot of sense. You don't know the impact you made. You will never know how bad it would have been if you did nothing. 

I refused to see a bright side in any of this. I've lost friends, respect for a great deal of people in leadership positions, and respect for so many people in my community. I've also seen resilience, camaraderie, and a coming together where we do the best we can to take care of those we love and those around us. I've seen incredibly inspiring members of our City Council speak out in ways I'd never imagine people in Rapid City could do. Some day I could do the same. I wear a mask and so do almost all of my colleagues at school. The vast majority of the students wear masks when we are in major traffic areas and we have done all we can to help out and check in on our friends who are sick. I've tried to give money to those in need. My love for those in in my life is more fierce than it has ever been and the time that I've had with my little family of four, staying home, doing everything together, without the distractions of activities has been invaluable. I think that's why I wish I would have just stayed in the moment during the summer of 2020. Not worried about the future because worrying about it didn't change one damn thing. It just made me stressed, salty, and distracted. 

In addition to all of these conflicting and difficult emotions I also feel incredibly grateful to have a job I still love, a home, a healthy family, an employed husband, a second job, and the resources to provide for all of the items listed above. Second-graders as always provide a great deal of laughter, perspective, and love. Them and my coworkers have been so invaluable these past few months as well. 

I can't help but visualize that when this is all over (whatever that even looks like) maybe there will be a dance performance where I emerge as a secretly amazing dirty dancer. I will have just mastered doing "the lift," a difficult dance move that my insecurities have previously inhibited my ability to complete this complex move. It could happen?

I am sorry for not being as present as I would have liked over the summer.  Now, we are at the holidays. I am going to vow to stop obsessing over how to change this situation.  I will admit defeat, wear my mask, stay out of public, and wait for a vaccine, because honestly, I'm not sure what else I can do. 

Love always, 

Mommio

P.S. Links to where I want to make my new home: Vermont! 

https://education.vermont.gov/news/covid-19-guidance-vermont-schools/reopening-status-of-vermont-public-schools

https://www.healthvermont.gov/covid-19/current-activity/vermont-dashboard