Nostalgic

Dear Baby Waider + Little Brother Too,

If nostalgia were a condition I would definitely be considered afflicted by it. I constantly look back to the past, fondly. I am not really one who resides in the past, though. One of my favorite things to say is, "These are the good old days." 

Lately I've been very nostalgic for different times. School, family get togethers, having little babies, going to stores, feeling "normal." I miss crazy stuff, like driving to work and listening to our books. It's so strange because mornings could feel like a battle. Once I hit the I-90 with both of you dressed, fed, backpacks loaded, water bottles filled, and lunches packed I would feel a great sense of relief and anticipation of the great day we were all about to have. I loved walking up to my classroom with both of you as you greeted and hung out with your cousins. Some days with Little Brother and Cousin Kitt  pretending they were puppies. Finn and Baby Waider caring for and talking to Pete and Ginger. Auntie popping in with Mrs. K. or Miss Selfridge to ask a question or just chat. Once it was time it was always so sweet to watch the four of you march off to the playground or the gym, ready to see your classmates, teachers, and learn! I feel really nostalgic for the hectic mornings that ended once we would hear Mr. Dschaak say the pledge and our days would start, separately-together.  

I also feel nostalgic for the end of the day when you would all four report back, maybe a little wild, asking for snack, or to see Aunt Becky. You would RARELY do homework because you wanted to chat or play school. You loved your time with your cousins. It's so strange not seeing them all the time. I miss the time in the car on the drive home. Sometimes Little Brother would drift off to sleep listening to our book after having an exhausting day of kindergarten. It was always fun to hear a bit about what Baby Waider did that day because I probably did the same thing while I was teaching. I loved hearing your perspective of the things we do. 

During the school day I miss strange things, like reading with a student and having them decode a really difficult word on their own. I miss the five minutes before lunch when I would read a story aloud or listen to kids tell me stories. I miss the time right after math and right before reading when we would celebrate when we learned for math and got ready for the more peaceful reading block time. 

I'm nostalgic for lunch with the other teachers. I would always look forward to sending the students off for their time of eating with friends and recess while the teachers and I would laugh, tell stories, or solve world problems. I miss the moment when the kids would all come in from lunch recess, rosey cheeks, the smell of cold, fresh-air and sweat pouring off of them. All smiles and ready for part two of our day. I even miss hearing about recess issues and solving them with apologies and explanations. I miss dance parties, making up songs, laughing, story telling, excitement, working hard and seeing results. I miss checklists, fun pens, writing time, and read aloud. After spending 37 years (minus summers) in a classroom since starting Kindergarten I am experiencing a special kind of mourning. I miss so much about school. 

Yesterday I headed out on my afternoon walk. Mavis reminds me daily that we have to go on our walk at 3PM. It usually forces me away from my computer.One nice part about the quarantine is that I have lots of time to take long walks. We usually take a 3 mile walk. We live near where I grew up so lots of the landmarks take me back to when I was a kid. I regularly walk by what used to be the old Robbinsdale Pool. Talk about nostalgia! Your uncle Kelly and I spent entire summers riding our bikes to this rectangle pool with friends, daycare kids, and neighbors. I feel like Auntie Katie was a little too young to join us. It was tiny by today's pool standards, and it had a terrifying high dive and a low diving board. There wasn't much of a pool deck. Since it was the 1980's most parents just sent their kids to the pool so there were a few pool chairs, but you didn't really need them anyway. Once we finally got into the pool, for some reason there was always a really long line, we would run into the pool area, throw our towels onto the cement deck, kick off our flip flops and dive into the arctic cold pool. I am not sure  why, but that pool was ridiculously cold. If it was not crowded (it was probably cold, cloudy, or windy) then we could throw a penny and dive for it, play Marco Polo, or stand in line for hours at the two diving boards. I have two memories of the high dive. 1. I remember doing the high dive. It was amazing. You couldn't help but feeling like a real badass jumping off of it into the 10 feet deep pool. The smack of that cold water was verification that you were officially part of a club that gave you a considerable amount of street credit. "Ya. I've done the high dive at Robbinsdale Pool." 2. I remember watching friends, none specifically, that would crawl up the infinitely high ladder of that high dive, walk over to the edge, peer over the edge, turn around, and go back down that legendary ladder. I would always feel partly sad for them and partly happy for myself that I was a badass and had achieved something others could not. The sadness I felt for them was that they would not yet know the exhilaration of feeling the smack of that cold water and excitement of emerging from several feet under water, gasping for air, stomach trying to right itself.  As I walked Mavis yesterday I remembered the busy days at Robbinsdale Pool when all you could do is bob up and down in place because you were literally shoulder to shoulder with other children in the pool. The water eerily warm probably due to the extra kids peeing in it. I actually laughed out loud as I vividly remembered the sign at the entrance of the pool. It said, "Welcome to our OOL. Notice it has no P in it. Please keep it that way." I always thought that was so clever. My walk down memory lane did not seem this long in my mind, but I really did live back at Robbinsdale Pool for quite a spell yesterday. It seemed so vivid that I could almost touch it. I remembered giggling, laying on my stomach, arms pulled under, laying soaking wet on hot concrete, shivering, eyes squinting from the sun, just praying to warm up from the frigid water. Let me tell you, kids, there is cold, and then there is Robbinsdale Pool in June cold. It was real. As I turned the corner to start heading back at South Middle School my mind went to the end of the pool trips. If we were lucky they all ended the same. Grandma Halter would awesomely round up enough cash for us to buy a Hawaiian Shaved Ice from the stand that resided outside the pool. I'm sure in your mind you are saying, "If the pool was so cold, why in the world would you get a shaved ice after swimming in it?" The answer to this is simple. It. Was. Amazing. I would get 1. Pina Colada and Root-beer or 2. Banana and Root-beer or 3. Banana and Pina Colada. It usually depended upon what they had available. Once we had our shaved ice we would begin our trek home. Pushing my banana seat bike, balancing a delicious shaved ice, wearing flip flops, and a damp town draped across one shoulder all while wearing a wet swimsuit. Yesterday, I approached the place where when I was a kid we would turn and go up what I remember as a HUGE hill. 

What I considered to be a huge hill when I was little.

I decided to continue my walk down memory lane and turned to go up that HUGE hill. I figured it would raise my heart rate. I realized that the hill isn't really that huge and also that for some reason we would always walk home in the middle of the street. (Sorry Grandma Halter) Maybe it was because we couldn't steer very well on the sidewalk with our cups of shaved ice and our towels. I don't know. What I do know is that the rule was you had to be finished with the shaved ice by the time you got to the top of the hill so you could ride down the other side and coast the rest of the way home. Once I got to the bottom of high hill I turned down Fairmont to start my journey home. I sort of stopped thinking about the pool at that moment. My thoughts drifted back to school. 

I thought about what springtime at school meant. I have lots of experience to draw from. As I've mentioned this is my 37th year in the school system as either a teacher or a student. April and May at school are exhaustingly magic. Your class is more of a family than a class. You've developed best friends, inside jokes, a familiarity that isn't there in September. Guards have come down, learning has been done, we have a developed closeness that is the good stuff making memories is made of. I thought about how if we would have been at school yesterday we would have most likely ended the day with an Earth Day art project of some sort. I would have likely confirmed our field trip to Bear Country the following week and verified that we had the cold lunch count accurately conveyed to the lunch lady and the bus was confirmed. I probably would have gathered Rally Day slips into a huge pile and stapled them to be sent to the office. I would likely grumble because I have suggestions to improve Rally Day that are always ignored. We would have let recess go five minutes longer because it was such a nice day. We would have battled for playground space with other grade levels because it was just warm enough. The teachers would have relished in the fact that we only had 3 Fridays left until Summer Vacay 2020. The kids would have run around like crazy maniacs because it was Friday. In April. I thought about how much fun the drive home would be after the end of the day. We would have pizza that dad would pick up on his way home from work. We'd argue over what we'd watch in the evening. Mavis would greet us with relief because we were finally home. I'd kick the two of you outside while I decompressed from the day, preheated the oven, and watched the news. While my heart ached for all of the things we missed had we been at school something struck me. Someday, I'll be nostalgic for these quarantine days. 

I will long for the days when we all gather around the table to "do" school. There might be laughing, crying, or fighting. Little Brother definitely will be complaining or pouting because he HAS to write. Baby Waider most certainly wanting to do more math. Both kids determined that they are NOT learning squat from their ding-dong parents. We will strive to be "done" with school in a reasonable time, but might find one or two more things to do before we sign off for the day. These days we might extend recess a bit in our own backyard if it is nice out. I don't hate being on a Zoom meeting with my window wide open listening to the two of you laugh while you swing or whisper as you "make" mud out of spray bottles and dirt. (Yes we knew you were doing that.) It is fun to have big breakfasts that linger longer than usual even on a weekday and indulge in reading an entire chapter book in one sitting. Sometimes we extend device time or spend extra time working on a project with your dad, like rebuilding a bike or making brownies with your mom and grandma via zoom. Afternoon walks don't have a time limit and you can skate outside until dark. We are pretty much continuously together which seems like a gift with both of you at the perfect ages of 6 and 8. You are young enough to be adorable, but old enough to be fun. I'll miss the days of listening to the two of you stay up too late laughing during a sleepover on a "school" night and the indulgent joy of drinking chocolate milkshakes while watching a movie. The simple excitement of scoring 5 quart bucket of ice cream or getting pop tarts in the grocery order. Planning meals together, playing cards, and doing puzzles have become something to look forward to and enjoy. Having Zoom Meetings interrupted by you or other meeting attendees meetings have been a friendly and hopeful reminder that we are all in this together. I think what is most endearing about all of this is how close the four of us have become. We've always been a strong family unit, but the time when it's just been the four of us have been a bit limited. More than once dad and I have commented on how cool it is that the two of you have become so close. You've participated in one another's interests more and more. Baby Waider has been a wonderful teacher to Little Brother in many ways. The thing about a moment is you never really know what will become the memory. I don't know what exactly I'll be nostalgic about during this time. I just know that at some point I will be missing this time. 

So, what in the world does missing school, Robbinsdale Pool, and nostalgic about quarantine mean together? I promise I'm getting to that. Last night I went into your room, Baby Waider and Super Kitty was doing this thing where she walks around you meowing. I asked Super Kitty, "What's wrong, Super?" 

She never answers me when I ask her that, but Baby Waider did. You said,"Super knows I needed her to be with me because I'm sad." 

"Oh no! What's wrong?" 

"I just miss my old life. I miss my grandma. I know I can see her but it isn't the same because I can't hug her." 

We briefly talked about how life will go back to normal and we will see others again. We talked about somethings we could do to connect with people. When I woke up you had written these two poems. They perfectly summed up what we're all feeling. So much to miss. 

It was timely because just yesterday I had reflected on focusing upon all the things we're enjoying during this time and I was able to pass that knowledge onto Baby Waider. I was also so proud of Baby Waider for putting feelings into writing. We also discussed the value of appreciating what we had before it was all lost. The things we miss have little to do with things or necessarily places (Well, except the Dollar Store and school!) but everything to do with the people we miss so much. Maybe the big lesson here is that people are such an important part of our life and experiences. They really are irreplaceable. I think that's why we are all taking this time-out to be in quarantine because we want to protect all of the PEOPLE we love who mean so much to us. If we take this time-out seriously they will all remain with us to develop more memories. 

As I wrapped my walk up yesterday (almost 4 miles walked in Birkenstock sandals) I also wrapped up my thinking. What will our memories be during this time? Did we worry too much? Enjoy too little? Did we live in the now? Were the precautions we took too great? Did we not take enough precautions? Will we regret not getting another kitten? I'm not sure we will ever know. What I do know is that your mom 10 years ago would have NEVER imagined this scenario. It has taught me that you never know what is coming. I think your poem titled, "When?" sums up how were all feeling. We don't know when anything is going to change. What I do know is that we have to consciously live in the now and look for what we will be nostalgic for in the future. You never know. It might be walking up a HUGE hill on a hot day, with a shaved ice, a damp towel, wearing a wet swim suit. Just like we don't always know what's coming we also don't always know which parts we will miss. 

Love you both, 

Mom

Strange Times

Dear Baby Waider + Little Brother Too,

I am sure after reading the previous post about the "Covid-19 Pandemic of 2020" that you've been itching for more information. I probably use the statement that is the title about 20 times per week. We are living in such strange times. When I say strange times it actually seems like a gross understatement. Last week we participated in a "Teacher Parade." Now, a month ago, I didn't know what that was. You most likely won't forget what a Teacher Parade was. Out whole staff got together at the school and drove around the communities of Piedmont to wave to the families from our school. No one could approach us and we could not approach them either. We could wave and honk, we did a lot of both. We jammed out to music and I cried. I was overwhelmed with emotion because in 20 years of teaching I've never had anything like this happen before. If you would have told me my first year of teaching that in the year 2020 the school-year would go to distance learning in the middle of March and would remain distance learning for the rest of the year I would have laughed my head off. Even when we were told that school was closing for the week of 3/16 I did not have one bit of belief that we would be gone for two-weeks let alone over two-months. I was completely shocked when school was called until 5/1 and pretty devastated when school was cancelled for the remainder of the year. In fact we were all pretty upset by the news. 

It has been a real adjustment to accept that I will not finish the end of the year with my students. It has been a bigger adjustment to accept that you are all missing the end of second-grade and kindergarten. No Rally Day, no field trip, and no normal end of the year rituals. Baby Waider, this is likely the only year when you will be in the grade that I teach. It has been so much fun watching you learn and interact with all of the things that I've taught for years. It all makes me very sad. The only comfort I get is that we're all safe at home. It is just surreal to think that we are indefinitely here at home. Just the four of us. 

There have been a lot of bright spots during this time even though countless events have been missed Birthday parties, recitals, rehearsals, programs, baseball season, church, Sunday School, First Communion, and who knows what else. It has been hard. BUT we've been making the best out of our situation. One of the best things we've done was the Teacher Parade. It was so special and fun. You both loved seeing your teachers, and Mrs. K., Baby Waider's teacher even stood up out of her moon roof and yelled at Baby Waider. You lit up when you saw her. Little Brother finally got to see Mrs. Christman at the end of the parade. It was so nice to see familiar faces even if we couldn't talk. 

The next thing we've been doing are lots and lots of Zoom meetings. We've Zoomed our classes, cousins, grandparents, and friends. It really has been the hit of quarantine and most likely one of the things you will look back upon fondly during this time. Grandma Halter even taught us how to bake her infamous chocolate chip cookie bars via Zoom! We also did a Palm Sunday reading/ prayer service and art projects with your cousins. You are both very sad that you can't see your cousins and your grandparents. In fact, Little Brother was giving the prompt in his social studies book to write or draw about a place he'd like to visit. He said he wanted to go to his Grandma's house. I expected the beach, mountains, a store, or even Jump Craze. But, his picture was his Grandma surrounded by all of his cousins. Devastatingly accurate, buddy. In summary I feel that Zoom should win the Nobel Peace Prize when this is all over. 

We've also mastered (using that term loosely) doing school at home. We completed *almost* all of our work last week and it was just four days. To say that working from home, teaching my own kids, while having a second job has been overwhelming has been an understatement. Teaching your own kids is no joke. You basically think I have less knowledge than a kindergartner and have NO IDEA how your teacher does it. Which I don't because they weren't my teacher. I digress. 

I have vowed to try to be more "fun" during this time as well. We have enjoyed walks with Mavis which surprisingly is very enjoyable. The two of you ever-hungry for the academics make me think of math equations for you nearly the ENTIRE 3 miles. Today we did multiplication and addition and then when we'd turn a corner we switched to subtraction and division. It is equal parts amazing and exhausting. Today I was basically glowing with how much mental math you can both do. The way you crank-out reasoning for your answers makes my math teacher heart so proud. Sometimes I have a difficult time challenging you and that is just so exciting. We have been baking more. I even let you bake AND decorate cupcakes with homemade  buttercream frosting!!! Woot! Woot! We did have to celebrate Brook's  21st birthday and Franks 6th birthday via Zoom so we had to have a treat. We also did a parade for Frank's birthday party and it was AMAZING and ADORABLE. Frank is such a fun cousin that it just really made everyone's day. 

Along with parades goes mini road trips or drives. Having a convertible makes any drive a road trip. With this being a fairly mild spring we've been able to take lots of drives with the top down. They may not be the typical "road trips" we've grown accustomed to, but they have been no less enjoyable and the views have been pretty phenomenal. 

I've personally enjoyed having all day long to cuddle, love, and terrorize our cats. I think as strange as it may sound they are starting to adjust? to us being home. Maybe they aren't adjusting. Accepting? Tolerating. That sounds better. The cats are tolerating us at home. Super Kitty MIGHT even be enjoying having her Baby Waider home. 

One of my favorite lines in the movie Christmas Vacation is when Clark asked his dad how he got through all of the family's holidays and his response is, "I had a lotta help from Jack  Daniels." My response to getting through this pandemic might be I had a little help from Mich Ultra. Kidding. Kind-of. My point is that this time is stressful. I want more than anything for you to look back on this time as something you enjoyed. A time where you had your parents with you at all times and got to be outside and we became a closer family. Some days it feels like we come out limping with a kid crying and work incomplete. The pressure of making this a positive experience is real and challenging. Paired with it being difficult to find resources, fairly dangerous to go to the store, and all parks closed it is just really, well, strange.

Also, I know that I'm coming at this from an extreme amount of privilege. My kids are fed, safe, and for the foreseeable future their parents are being paid. I ache for those who are less fortunate and feel badly there isn't more I can do to help them. Yes, I am juggling working from home and teaching my kids, but I am still WORKING. I have a job. My kids have resources they need to learn. I find myself angry because we are still being faced with members of our community who fail to take this seriously. We still have people who don't believe it is even real. Worse yet we have people who believe it was CREATED to hurt our president and economy.  The Western part of South Dakota has had very limited testing even available. 

I jokingly (kind-of)say that I already had Covid-19 and so did both of you. I had some of the symptoms and quite a cough for about ten days. I called Urgent Care on a Sunday because I felt like I was having a hard time breathing. Truthfully, it could have been anxiety, but I also had a temp. When I called Urgent Care they told me I wouldn't be tested even if I came in and had all the symptoms because I hadn't been out of state or country. But...The president said anyone who needed a test would get a test. So much for that... Ultimately, I am so interested to see how history explains this time. I have lots of my own opinions, but it is likely that you already know them. It is probably prudent to also mention that I was fairly certain I had the bird flue, swine flue, and SARS. It seems funny to type that because back then it was unfathomable to think that a pandemic would ever impact the United States, yet here we are. 

My hope from all of this is that we learn something. The other day I was getting ready to teach you and I came upon this picture I printed from the internet on New Year's Day. I wrote #2020 GOALS on it and hung it up on our picture/art line. It had somehow fallen down and I can't help but believe that it was meant to fall down. 

If you read this list NONE of those things that I wanted to do were impacted by being quarantined. I think what I wanted to do on that New Year's Day is slow down a little. Relish in the little things. While I don't feel like I've had a moment to relax or slow down...I have had more hugs, creating, laugher, long walks, books, road trips, sunsets, music, and LOVE. I have a feeling as time goes on we're going to round out that list even more. I remember telling Auntie before this whole thing happened that I was so sad that Baby Waider was almost out of second-grade because it is my FAVORITE age and I don' want it to go too fast. One #silver lining of this is that I am getting to be with the two of you all day every day. Time that we didn't even know we wanted. While it is more stressful than I'd like at times I do want you to know that it will be a time I look back and cherish more than I even realize this minute. I will try to continue to update about this crazy time. 

Love Always, 

Mom

Today was Hard

Dear Baby Waider + Little Brother Too,

I have a million things to do, but my mind is all over the place. When my mind is unsettled sometimes I turn to writing as an outlet to calm stop the endless spinning of what-if? and how-come? and when will? Undoubtedly March of 2020 will be one for the history books. What started as a looming threat has become a reality right here in our own country. We had been hearing about the Corona Virus or Covid 19 since December or January. It started in China and as was predicted made it here. We've never experienced something quite like this. The news has been warning for months about being ready for this epidemic, then it became a pandemic. The warnings have been terrifying, dangerous to older people, not enough ventilators. Thousands have died in China and Italy. I assumed that the U.S. was planning for this tidal wave headed our way so I carried on with my life. 

Thursday evening it was reported that groups of 50 or more were no longer supposed to be congregating so they canceled our spring program. That seemed bad...Then Friday at 10 AM we got the call that we were canceling school for the following week. We feverishly gathered copies and resources to send home with students. We said good bye to our students with an eerie feeling. We were told it would be a week which seemed doable. This was not goodbye, it was see ya soon.  I wasn't sure how to address with students that we were leaving school for the whole week. I gave good normal goodbye and didn't really get the opportunity to give the sendoff I would hope for when sending my students on their way for an extended period of time. We hugged and high-fived. It felt strange to me that I would not see them for the three days before we were supposed to have spring break, but I felt like I would see them again on March 23rd and it would be okay. 

Enter this week and everything came crashing down. It was the realization that we don't really know what the future holds. The governor closed  school through the 30th of March, but the Corona Virus is only growing, which makes me scared. I'm scared because this is a scary sickness. It makes me worry for all of the older people we love in our lives. I am terrified because of the lack of hospital beds and resources in our area to support people if they are sick. The threats really go on and on. We've been social distancing since last Friday. Even in Rapid City our stores our out of toilet paper, meat, rice, and other essentials. History may tell the tale that the media scared people. Maybe that's the case, but the reports cannot be made up. There are people dying from this and it is severe enough to close the doors of public schools. 

I was functioning quite well. I was carrying on, homeschooling the two of you, and adjusting to my new life as a stay at home mom. We decided to take the dog on a LONG walk because she's just more manageable that way. When we were just about home Baby Waider hit something with her scooter and fell. The fall resulted in the most blood curdling cry and scream I've ever heard leave her mouth. My initial thought was, "OMG, she broke her arm." I grabbed the scooter and carried it along with a bag of fresh dog poop and the leash. Baby Waider gingerly grabbed her arm and whimpered the rest of the way home. I called the doctor right when we got home and we were told we had to report to the doctor's office for an x-ray based upon my call. First violation of social distancing rule-stay away from the doctor's office. We had special rules to follow. We had to stay in the car until the nurse called us and then we had to go back to the doctor's office. We immediately had an x-ray. The man who did the x-ray was the same one who had done a chest x-ray on Baby Waider 8 years previously. It was quickly determined that Baby Waider, had in fact, broken her arm.So, day 2 of homeschool and Baby Waider fired me as the PE teacher. 

That night I had a really hard time sleeping. I kept stressing about how much worse the broken arm could have been, and what if we would have had to go to the hospital. Anyway, my thoughts ran wild and I didn't sleep much at all. When I woke up the next morning the custodian and one of my favorite people, Cathy Nissen, shot me a text wondering if I were getting my plants since we'd be out for the following week and they would be deep cleaning my classroom. It was that moment that it hit me. This is major. This is closing schools for two weeks (or more?)You do not know when you will see your students again. I was flooded with emotion. I went to school to grab my teacher's manuals and my plants. 

I walked into my beloved school on a Wednesday afternoon and it was silent and vacant. Just a few days prior it was bustling with activity and sounds of kids echoing through the halls. As I went to my classroom my heart slowly broke. School is my jam. It is the place I want to be more than any other. I've been either a student or a teacher for the past 36  years straight. I love everything about school. The kids, the smell, the worksheets, the supplies, the lesson plans, my friends, and the atmosphere. Given the choice to be anywhere in the world I would probably choose an elementary school by the name of Piedmont Valley Elementary. My classroom was eerily tidy. We had to clear walls and counters before our departure to the point that I actually am not sure where most of my stuff is. I snapped a few pictures and started crying. 

I am by nature a cryer. I take after  Grandma Halter who is also a cryer. I tend to get emotional and have been spending much of this crisis crying about various things. My crying seems more warranted than it has for other reasons by comparison, but after being in my empty classroom I was inconsolable. The way I see it is that so much of who I am is because I am a teacher. I have been a teacher longer than I've known your dad or had either of you. As one friend put it I have been teaching since I was Little Brother's age. Taking my students away from me is about the most devastating thing that you could do.I've spent a couple of weeks away from students before. During Christmas Break for example, but a break this long in March is unsurpassed. 

As I try to process what this means for the past couple of days I've drawn strength and perspective from my favorite book, The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane. The first being the idea that we are just at the beginning of this. In this book, Edward is thrown overboard. Right now it feels as though we have sunk to the bottom of the ocean. It feels as though there is nothing shy of a miracle that can spare us from this mess. At the same time I feel like the part where he is with Lucious Clark in the doll shop when Lucious says, "All in good time. In the doll business, we have a saying: there is real time and there is doll time. You, my friend, have entered doll time." We are in doll time. We are in unchartered waters. So much is unknown. You will both look back on this time. Baby Waider will inevitably remember that she broke her arm and was taken away from her friends and teacher abruptly and unfairly. Little Brother will remember it as a time when he unfairly delivered truth bombs, such as,"You're the worst sister ever! You broke your arm on purpose! I bet you never taught anyone anything!" Mom and dad will remember it as a time where we adjusted to life as parent-teachers where we juggled three jobs between two people, two kids, and a freshly spayed dog. Undoubtably we'll remember this as a time we pulled together as a tighter unit and held the two of you as close as we possibly could. 

Below: A photo essay of the early days of social distancing. 

 

Little Brother finding all the kittens in Dreambox. We were all very invested in the well-being of the kittens. 

Home-school central

Is it a broken arm?

X-ray time! This was the same technician who did the chest X-ray for Baby Waider one of the many times she had pneumonia. 

A cast you can remove so you can wash your hands. 

Buckle fracture is what she had! You can see where the bone buckled. 

Mavis in agony after being spayed. Bonus she will not be in heat again.

Baby Waider so happy to see a freshly printed math paper that she kissed it. 

Little Brother maintaining a crazy disposition.

Stay safe friends and family!

Love always, 

Mama

“Butttt...WHY do we have to?!!!”

Dear Baby Waider + Little Brother Too, 

Recently we did our annual cousin Halloween Photoshoot. One of my previous blogs most likely addresses this, but my memory being questionable I don’t remember if I have or not. My cousins, Carrie and Julie Carda (side note I’ve idolized them my entire life. They were always super pretty, fun, and all around amazing) when their kids were young they always did a themed cousin photoshoot. I never really latched onto much that made me say, “When I have kids they’re doing that.” But the cousin shot was different. I almost immediately thought, “Oh, hell yes my kids are doing that.” Thankfully Auntie Katie and Auntie April felt the same way and we’ve made the cousin shot a reality. You’re all really good sports about it. The shot is rarely what you want to be for Halloween and as you get older I find that you often fear that the costumes are “uncool.” This year the choice was Toy Story 4. We were ecstatic because Mom and Auntie have made friends with an antique shop called, Younique Finds. She agreed to let us use her amazing space as a spot to take our iconic shot. Her backdrop was amazing with classic toys and delicious old pieces begging to be captured. It. Was. Perfect. 

I think it’s time to mention that I used to be into photography. I loved taking and editing pictures. A slow computer and lack of time has recently turned me to using my iPhone more, losing my dslr camera’s battery and not even taking the photos. Auntie April on the other hand is an amazing photographer, she has a business, and still takes and edits these pictures for us! We’re so fortunate because they’re amazing. I’m so grateful she takes them. Without her this tradition would have died with my cannon 60d. 

This brings me to questions that I often hear. I will address and answer them the best that I can. 

My children, niece, and nephews: WHY DO WE HAVE RO TAKE THESE STUPID PICTURES????

Answer: Because I love them. You are only this age for one Halloween. You and your cousins are so damn cute I can’t stand it. I have an intense love of theme wear and seeing all of you in one theme brings me so much joy. Also, your future significant others are going to love to see these costumes. They may even serve as some bribery. Your aunts, (maybe uncles???) grandmas and grandfathers love to see them. Not to mention the joy they bring to Facebook land. All these people are invested in you and how you’re growing up. I feel that we owe it to them to come up with a theme and deliver. The shorter answer is that you’re creating memories with each other. During the shoot you laugh, cry, and put your arms around other. You seven have a terrific bond that shines through these pictures. ❤️ My favorite from this year is the collective shouting, “DUKE KA BOOM, DUKE KA BOOM!” 

Facebook land/friends/family: How do you get the kids to take this picture? 

Answer: General threats and bribes. I will tell your dad to come and get you. Do you want to have a birthday party this year? You’re not getting ice cream. When we need to bring out the big gun, Grandma Halter asking or begging for cooperation usually works pretty well. The biggest hurdle we run into is general silliness, laughing, and fatigue. For the most part I think the kids have fun. 

Do the kids ever get to choose their costume:

Answer: Yes. They are rarely only the theme costume. In fact it’s often only for the picture. Some years they are something different for each event we do. 

A long answer for a short question. Our cousin Halloween photo tradition is one of my favorites. 

Love Always, 

Mom

Now for the photos! 

Put Me in Coach

Dear Baby Waider + Little Brother Too, 

Basically, since little brother could hold himself up he's been throwing. Possibly before because he would chuck his bottle from his car seat, his rock and play, and crib. Little brother has also always been a lefty. So naturally, everyone has been pretty enthusiastic about playing baseball. (Grandpa and Grandma Halter especially.) This was the year we signed our June away and let him play T-ball, or as Baby Waider liked to call it, "Baby Baseball." 

Little brother, you fell in love with the game immediately. Dad started playing catch and got you hitting off of the tee. Not surprisingly you were amazing. I've had reservations about T-ball because it interferes with my favorite thing which is travel and camping. But, seeing how much you love the sport it would be difficult to think there's anywhere we should be in June other than a baseball diamond. 

Coach Chad was patient and fantastic. Your team was amazingly adorable. With that being said t-ball can be painful to watch at times. You only got to bat two times a game. You hit so well I feel like you should've been able to hit more than once an inning.;) I am mostly kidding.  It was a blast watching you succeed and have a blast. The amount that all of you improved over the season was impressive and I can't wait to see what you are able to do next year. 

Love, 

Mama

KEEEE-FAHHHH!

Dear Baby Waider + Little Brother Too, 

I continue to be amazed by how much appreciation I have for great teachers. I am not sure I ever knew the value of a solid classroom teacher until I had my own child to watch at home after the day was done. This year was no exception for you, Baby Waider. I’ve known your teacher, Mr. Kieffer for several years. I don’t really know how many because I just haven’t kept track. I remember he came as a late hire to our school. I was pretty skeptical, I’ll admit. Why hadn’t he been offered a job if he were any good? That first year was pleasantly surprising. I didn’t know him well, but when I did see him he was always pleasant and good natured.  Our friendship has been (slowly) progressing. :) Initially we bonded over his name being the same as one of the boyfriends on the show Teen Mom 2. The girl's mom, Barbara would always yell about “Keeee-Faaahhhh.” If you ever watch the show the boyfriend is less than impressive. Thankfully Mr. Kieffer has always been quite the opposite. 

I’m a second grade teacher so I always get students after they’ve been in first grade. (Obviously) We always hear things about first grade from our students. To say that kids are obsessed with Mr. Kieffer is an understatement. For years I’ve heard all about Mr. Kieffer. He does cool stuff, but mostly I learned that he makes ordinary stuff cool. He has an incredible sense of humor and a way of making everyone feel better by just being around him. Baby Waider you will most lovingly remember every single Friday as Fri-yay and will never forget his read alouds. Any compliment Mr. Kieffer gave was worn as a badge of honor for days. What I never knew about Mr. Kieffer is that he really doesn't offer expensive incentives or elaborate prizes for behavior or hard work. He also really doesn't give consequences (if he does you didn't get any). He has what I call teacher magic. He's one of these teachers who get the students to become his followers. Sort of like the Pied Piper. Except his students aren't rats and he isn't leading you to drown...Maybe that's not the best comparison. My point is that  Mr. Kieffer doesn't really rely on magic. He's just himself, which is so inherently charming that students want to do and be their best around him. Heck, he even makes me want to do and be my best as a teacher. Now that I've seen his passion and witnessed how much it impacted my own child I won't get annoyed when one of my students hugs me next year and says, "Your my favorite teacher, Mrs. Waider, except for Mr. Kieffer he's my first favorite." Don't judge me fellow teachers, you know you like to be the favorite, too! 

I know how much work it is to be a teacher. I’ve been doing it for long enough to know that it is not easy what teachers do for our kids. Mr. Kieffer shows up everyday and gave you his all. I will forever be grateful for Mr. Kieffer because he instilled a deep love of learning within you, encouraged you to love reading even more, and has you thinking you are a full-fledged author. You love math and are so confident. I cannot ever repay Mr. Kieffer for all he did for you this past year, but we can say thanks and get him a pack of Hot Pockets (You didn't think I'd write an entire blog about you and leave out the Hot Pockets, did you?). So, THANKS KEEE-FAHHHH! 

Love, 

Mom

Miss Mavis

Dear Baby Waider + Little Brother Too,

The weekend after Mia died Baby Waider (possibly jokingly) said, "Two old pets down, one to go." It was funny and sad all at once. The two of you were born with three old pets already established in our household. By giant dog standards Mia was very old when both of you were born. The youngest pet we had, Boo, died this past summer and was quickly replaced by two vibrant kittens. Before Mia had died we had committed to a puppy this summer because we didn't want to be without a dog after Mia died. We also thought that Mia could possibly help "train" the new puppy. Mia got the last laugh and got the hell out of here before she was tasked with that job. We tried to stay committed to waiting until we were out of school to get a puppy. That just didn't happen. 

After living with a dog for fourteen years it was really hard to be without one. We had wanted to get a Newfypoo because we had thought Mia might be a Newfoundland because of what a shelter in Denver had told us about her. But, her paperwork had said she was a St. Bernard/Weimaraner. Sadly, we will never know for sure. What we do know is that she was a giant dog and we wanted to try one out that was mixed with a poodle. Enter the St. Berdoodle. We found a female near Pittsburg, Pennsylvania. She was ready to go and even discounted because she was 10 weeks old, not 8 weeks old. Note: People will tell you that your parents were crazy about dogs. We don't care. Also, your dad will make anything happen if we want it badly enough. So, the story goes that your dad got a cheap plane ticket, rented a car, and got us a dog the first weekend in April.  He wasn't even gone 24 hours and the puppy did great in the plane. 

Mavis was the decided name for our new family member. We put it to a family vote. The name Mavis was chosen from the movie, "Hotel Transylvania." It is a family favorite and Mavis seemed like a fun name. It suits her. 

A good friend of mine told me that a puppy will go a long way to mend your broken heart. She was right. With Mia gone I am grateful to have a pup to let outside, even if it is every hour on the hour. I am so happy to have Mavis laying in or near the kitchen while I'm cooking or following me from room to room just to be near me. Mia rarely annoyed me. Her food was our the bathroom because it had to be on our level.  One of the things she did that was inconvenient  was stand and between me and the bathroom sink while I was trying to get ready to go in the morning. She was not a small dog so she was definitely in my way. It usually made me laugh and I rarely made her move because she was actually eating and drinking. The other morning Mavis did the exact same thing. Naturally, it made me cry because it reminded me of Mia. Mavis actually does lots of the same things Mia did when she was younger and even when she was older. She likes to lay on her back and act like a monster, she will hit you with her oversized puppy paw, she loves cats, she likes to chew/bite everything, and she loves her people fiercely. 

Mavis has really take to the two of you. Baby Waider, you have been an amazing trainer to her and have done really well with her puppy training class. Little Brother, I’m pretty sure Mavis thinks you are a puppy. You two love to run and play for hours. Dad is, of course, the ultimate dog boss. His high standards and expectations are turning Mavis into a dog just as awesome as Mia. As for me, I’m just glad to have a companion back. Don’t get me wrong. I still miss Mia and probably always will, but Mavis is pretty terrific in her own way. 

Love,

Mom