It's official. People are starting to notice so it must be true. I am obsessed with photography. Namely, photography of the both of you. I often ask myself why that is. After all, at the rate I'm taking pictures of you by the time you are 18 you could potentially have 360000 pictures of yourselves. Who is going to go through all of those pictures? So when I'm taking thousands of pictures of you in your Halloween costumes I often ask myself what in the world will we ever do with these shots? I ask myself this often. I post pictures to Facebook at a rate that probably annoys 85% of my friends. Usually when I'm asking myself these questions your dad chimes in with the response that these pictures are for us. So when we are old and grey and you are grown and living your own lives we can look back at them fondly and remember the times when you were little.
Back a couple of weeks ago I was leaving the house to go to work. It was a typically hectic departure. As I was driving away dad was packing the two of you into a car. Two kids, two carseats, probably two crying kids, Baby Waider holding some random toy she snuck out of the house, and I got a little sad and thought to myself, "Man I really wish I could just freeze time. It's going so quickly." That particular morning I don't feel like I appreciated to precious smiles, morning giggles, Baby Waider sharing funny stories, or little brother's coos. Nothing like that. I left the house annoyed and it wasn't until I was separated from the both of you that I realized what I had likely missed out on that morning. But as I drove down the highway everything connected. It was one of my biggest AH-HA moments ever. This is why I take so many photos. It freezes time. For that moment I know exactly what my babies looked like. The gummy grin, tiny, stubby fingers, fine, spiky hair, soft, little curls, adorable little teeth, and an adorable button nose. All of those wonderful treasures I don't ever want to forget that seem to be fleeting so quickly are frozen in time. Pictures are the only way to stop time from going so darn quickly. I think that is why I hold my pictures so dear to my heart. So I probably take too many, obsess about getting just the right shot of those beautiful, baby blue eyes, long, lovely eyelashes, and worry too much about getting just the right picture. I just want to capture all of that awesomeness and love into something I can look back upon and remember. It's like I'm creating a bank where I can refer back to when I need to melt my own heart. I find that I prefer my own photos to professional shots because to me for some reason it is about quantity, not necessarily quality. Although I am working really hard to get the quality part down.
Suddenly, it was all clear. I'm addicted to pictures. After taking a bunch of pictures I can hardly wait to put the SD Card into my computer and gaze at each picture. Studying facial expressions, eyes, poses, every little part of the photos for what may be hours. Don't worry. I wait until you are asleep. Which again proves how much I cherish my pictures since I lose sleep to look at them. I guess if I'm addicted to taking pictures of my kids that is at least a good addiction to have. Thankfully, your dad supports my habit and occasionally feeds into by providing me with more camera swag.
I can say, without a doubt, that you will most definitely make fun of me for my photo obsession. Especially since the 1,000,000 GB of storage I'm using up on them will likely be your problem someday. Mark my words, if you ever have children of your own you will undoubtedly get it. A fried of mine had a daughter graduate from high school last spring. Their comment was that they never regretted one picture they took of their little girl, because the time went much too quickly. In fact they wished they had more photos. I can't say that I'll ever have the need to wish for more pictures, but I guess one never really knows.
Love,
Mama
P.S. Here are some recent photos from a couple of photo shoots.
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