Waiting

Dear Baby Waider+Little Brother Too,

This morning Baby Waider had her tonsils out and tubes put in. We've been waiting for this surgery for awhile. When you doesn't have tubes you are in almost a constant state of ear infection. Paired with the fact that you snore like an old man it is a good thing that they took out your tonsils. Initially you went to the hospital on Black Friday to have the procedure done. The hospital was horrible. Luckily, and I do believe we were lucky, that you had a fever that day and surgery was postponed until you were healthy. The hospital was awful. The nurse told you you would be in a lot of pain. A phrase which you took with you to this surgery, but you were brave. She also had a variety of other terrifying things to say that day I've permanently removed from my mind.  The anesthesiologist didn't even know what procedure you were having done and neither did the pre-op nurses. We had to correct them several times and dad had to ask google to convert your temperature from C to F for the anesthesiologist.   It was similar to watching a circus act with clowns trying to be doctors and nurses. I was never more thankful than when the doctor came to the waiting room and said that you were too sick for surgery.     

The past three weeks since that day have been horrifically busy and annoyingly stressful. We successfully sold the house on Rosilee LN and moved to Cognac CT. The house is pretty terrific but different. I hate change so it's been an adjustment. Moving is grueling and annoying hard work. By the grace of God we had two snow days and Grandma Halter to help us pack or we still may not be moved.  We hired movers for the big stuff but on moving day Grandpa Marker and Mary were totally invaluable. I'm pretty sure Mary had the worst packing experience but during the process she found our marriage license which was a good reminder for the entire weekend. Super Uncle Joe and Grandma Halter were also helpful and I almost immediately regretted hiring the movers for a Friday when everyone was working. We were lucky again to have the last warm days of the fall for us to move. Grandpa Halter, Super Aunt Becky, Aunties Katie and April helped unpack. Dad had to move the final stuff in sub-zero temperatures. It has been a journey and I hope that we are settled for awhile now. The new house looks like a perpetual rummage sale and likely will until it warms up enough to situate things. 


Waiting. We've been  waiting for a couple of hours for you to wake up and walk now. It's been a rare time of total silence. Your dad and I both sitting by your side as you still snore (supposedly you will until the swelling goes down). Waiting had given me a good chance to do some thinking, which  I really haven't had the chance to do for awhile. Just a quiet room and a comfy chair has given me the chance to realize the remarkable amount we've accomplished in the past eight months. I'm equal parts amazed and equal parts sad. Every minute we spent on moving were minutes not spent with both of you. In many ways you were waiting to have your parents back. Fortunately for you you have amazing grandparents who took you much of the time and made the experience much more positive. Once our house was listed we waited for it to sell. Once it sold we waited to find a house. Then we waited to move in. Waiting...waiting...waiting. In between the waiting I'm certain we had fun but it sure just seemed like stress. 

During these past eight months I've been completely and totally stressed. It never pays to be a worrier and that's exactly what I am. So I hope you can find it in your hearts to forgive me for being a less than awesome mom the past few months. It was hopefully the means to a greater end. I love you both and can hardly wait for some fun over Christmas Break. Once you heal, Baby Waider, I'm convinced that we will be back to having fun in no time. 

Love, 
Mom 

Historic Vote

Dear Baby Waider + Little Brother Too,

One of the greatest inventions of modern time is the Timehop app. Today I was reminded of November 6, 2012. The election for Barack Obama's second term. You will likely read through these and think that your parents were obsessed with Barack Obama and that would actually be a fact. As you've read previously we actually met him and have his autograph that you will see again if we ever get moved and get our photographs hung up. Anyway, elections get me impassioned, angry, and right before they happen nervous. I've always been super involved and opinionated probably to a fault. I've been having a day of indulging in the polls and reading all articles pertaining to the election and election stats when I looked at these adorable pictures on my memories from today. 

Seeing those pictures made me feel worried. I know you are probably thinking, worried? These are adorable pictures, but it is so much more than that. Seeing the picture and reading my blog from four years ago reminded me of a time when we had a fantastic candidate for president that I LOVED. I was still hopeful back then and so proud to have a president that had so much dignity, grace, and charism. President Obama and his wife are excellent role models that show what hard work, perseverance, and courage in the face of adversity really looks like. Here I am. Off on another Obama tangent. My point in talking about this again is that three years before you were born we had the 2008 election. That election was Hilary Clinton running against Barack Obama for the Democratic nomination. Needless to say that my obsession with Barack Obama was not any less back then. I actually campaigned for Obama, which included making calls to Ohio and other battle ground states during the primaries. I was not a Hilary fan back then. *However, I also got her signature while she was here and she was very nice to us. Also, side note, your dad like Clinton before he liked Obama in the primaries. Sorry. Back to my point. My point in all of this is that fast forward eight years. The nominee for the Democrats is Hilary Clinton. I had a hard time getting over that election in 2008. Pair that with being a mom of two and having two jobs AND SELLING MY HOUSE AND BUYING ANOTHER ONE I haven't been as involved with this election. I support Clinton, but not as whole-heartedly as I would like. Grandma Halter pointed out that Barack Obama got over the 2008 election and actually put her in his cabinet so I need to move on too. I think what hit me today is that its not that I am not excited for Hillary Clinton to be president. It's just that I am sadder for Barack Obama to leave office. You know, my previous post, I hate change. Which is actually ironic because Barack Obama's entire campaign was centered around change. 

We face another historic election Tuesday. This time I am going to be voting for the first female president. Which is super exciting. When you wake up on Wednesday morning you might be a part of a world where a woman really can do anything in this country. The alternative...well...it's terrifying. 

There is a man running against Hilary Clinton who happens to be a joke of a candidate. I say a joke because I feel like it can't be serious that he's a candidate. I've spent the past few months waiting for something to happen where it isn't true that he is the candidate, but it seems like he's a bad dream that keeps happening over and over again. The polls are tight and I'm terrified. I can't imagine a world where Donald Trump is the president. He's an awful, pompous, sickening individual who takes advantage of people, makes fun of disabled people, and feels that it is his entitled right to do whatever he wants to women. He's disgusting. When he's on TV we have to turn it off because he says such inappropriate things that scary, untrue, or hurtful. 

Hands down this is the nastiest election I've ever seen. The country is truly divided. Perhaps the most maddening claim is people saying, "I don't like either candidate. It's like choosing between two evils." Not true. I want you to know that Hillary Clinton does not touch the evil that is Donald Trump. On Tuesday we will vote as a family. I envision that one of you will go with dad and one of you will go with me. We will cast our vote with you in our mind and hearts. I often tell people that Barack Obama is the reason that we had children. We believed that he would create a country that was a better place than when he entered office, which he did. Your dad and I will be voting and keeping in mind a few reasons why we are casting our historic vote. Although my vote has nothing to do with Clinton being a woman it has everything to do with her sharing a vision with me for the future for my children. 

I just have to make one more point. I haven't ever been wild about the policies of our Republican presidents. I whole-heartedly disagreed with 98% of what George W. Bush did while he was in office. But he seemed like a nice enough guy and someone you could probably get a drink with. I would not ever want to be in the same room as Donald Trump. His character and actions are so deplorable that I cannot fathom why anyone supports him. Quite frankly it's embarrassing and the fact that he's the nominee makes me scared for this nation. The fact that the polls are this close makes it even more terrifying. 

I'm hoping for a BIG WIN for Clinton on Tuesday. She really is the most qualified for this job. Lastly, today during the 100 political shows and posts I read Obama stands out the most. I'm paraphrasing here but he said something like, "Not every decision you make is an inspired decision. Just because Hilary Clinton doesn't inspire you isn't a reason for not voting for her. Sometimes you just have to do the right thing. Voting for Clinton is the right thing." Of course I completely agreed with him. So on Tuesday, our family will do the right thing. In four years maybe I'll be writing a blog about how great the Clinton presidency was! We can hope, right?

Love always, 

Mom 

Five Months of NOT POSTING!

Dear Baby Waider + Little Brother Too,

I am so disappointed in myself for not updating this blog for over five months. I am especially disappointed because so much has been going on with so many life lessons to pass on. The truth is, I haven't been taking the time to blog because we've been living in some weird alternative universe where we are trying to sell our house. As a result of that it's been this state of limbo where we are just making it. Tons of our personal stuff is in storage and our house is perpetually clean, which I'm not going to lie I absolutely LOVE. With that being said it is why I haven't sat down to type out a blog for a long time. With every spare minute since March I feel like I've been cleaning, painting, repairing, getting ready for showings, or searching out a new house. Exhausting would be an understatement and I have loathed every minute of it. ...If I have to look at one more house...

After a month of grueling work we had the house "sale" ready. 

We got this in the mail shortly after we saw a house we fell in love with and decided we wanted to sell. That house didn't pan out and it turned out that our house was NOT in demand. We chose the WRONG realtor and it sat on the market for nearly six months. Once we found the RIGHT realtor it sold in five days. 

Which brings me to my next point. I can't handle change. It's true and I'm certain it has come out in other blogs as well. I am horrible at it. So buying a new house and moving from where I have lived the past 11 years is not an easy adjustment. I will complain for years about something I don't like, but if you try to change it I will about lose it. I tear up thinking about leaving my big beautiful tree and our fun neighbors. I can't imagine moving away from the field where Mia and I have walked together for eleven years that has the breathtaking views of Black Elk Peak. Change is a good thing, but not for your dear old mom. Your dad on the other hand THRIVES in change. He has changed jobs 3 times in the 13 years I've known him. He has had no problem selling and moving. He's had to sort of drag me through this process. 

Probably your dad's greatest sacrifice was selling is 1969 Suburban. Please don't hate us in the future! We did what we had to do and to be truthful we let it for a steal. It was a COOL old truck, but it had to go. :( 

This is the house where we brought you after you were born. It has sheltered us through many storms. We have had countless happy times within its walls. I've been hesitant to post about selling/buying because everything is so uncertain. As it stands today our house is under contract to a 21 year old from Alaska who has never seen the place. He moves here in the beginning of December and this is the first house he's ever bought. Seems pretty iffy to me. We currently have a home under contract that is on the south side of Rapid City, close to Super Aunt Becky and Uncle Joe, and Grandma and Grandpa Halter. Pretty much your only requirements. Once all the chips fall into place we can put this time consuming disaster behind us and continue on with the rest of our lives. 

Patience of all the virtues is not my strong point. I am impatient and want what I want yesterday. This has taught me that being impatient will get you nowhere fast. Things happen in their own time. During the next three weeks we prepare to move from the only home the two of you, Mia, and the cats have ever known. I'm sure the rest of you will be handling it just fine, meanwhile, your mom will be a bucket of tears. I'll be okay and love the new place. I'll try to remember that I get to leave the physical place, but keep all the memories, but I'll still be pretty sad. 


Love, 

Mom

Town Crier

Dear Little Brother ,

I'm about to sound like a shameless mom here but you are adorable. Your raspy voice, slight lisp, rs that sound like ws, and ls that sound like ys you charm nearly everyone you meet. You have taken to making loud proclamations of obvious facts, for example, "mama! There is ranch! "Or "The camper is hooked up to our truck!"  you repeat it until you are certain you know everyone in the vicinity has heard. You are sort of a modern day town crier. This morning we are breakfast at the State Game Lodge. As we were leaving you delivered a proclamation to an unexpected lady. You said "We are going back to our campsite!" While I have an uncanny nack  to imitate nearly any accent I cannot master yours it's just too amazing. The unsuspecting lady looked down and said, "that sounds like so much fun!" You continued to repeat the proclamation to the hostess and the clerk at the gift shop. The lady turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, "what a delightful child." I must've given her a strange look because she then responded with, "Sorry! My baby boy is 23 and getting married next door today and your son was so adorable he just took me back in time." Suddenly we were both in tears. I so much enjoy my time with you and your little perspective on life. Today though, after visiting with that very nice lady I'm going to be videoing you a whole bunch more. This summer is going to be all about going through life at the speed of Benny. I'm going to laugh a lot and love every minute of it!

Love, 

Mama 

Twenty Years Post High School

Dear Baby Waider + Little Brother Too, 

This morning started much like other mornings. The alarm went off probably 100 times. I kept hitting snooze and finally negotiated with myself that if I opened my eyes I could cruise Facebook for a few minutes before I got up and get ready for work. Much to my astonishment it was bought to my attention that today, this very day twenty years ago I graduated from high school. I spent most of the weekend attending graduation parties and going to actual graduation. Oddly enough my mind never went back to my own graduation. Probably because so much time has past since that moment. Obviously much of today it has been on my mind. I went from thinking that I've accomplished a great deal in the past twenty years to feeling like maybe I should have done more... At the end of the day, seriously, it is the end of the day, I've realized a few points about this momentous passage of time. 

First,I don't really remember much about graduating from high school. I know that I ALMOST didn't graduate with honors and I don't remember the exact scenario. I did end up getting to wear my honors cords and got a brand new outfit from American Eagle, which was a really big deal. Despite the fact that I wore a gown over it I remember exactly what I was wearing right down to my brand spanking new (and beautiful might I add) Doc Martin sandals! I also vaguely remember a feeling that the best was probably already past in my life. I couldn't have been more wrong. Except about my Doc Martins. They were the best. (Thanks mom and dad!) 

I've always prided myself for loving and making the best out of whatever stage of life I am in. Expect middle school. That's just awful. That being said, if I could tell my 18 year old self anything it would be that the best is yet to come. It just keeps getting better. I really can't say I would change a thing. 

Just to give you a little perspective the year I graduated your dad was 17. I wouldn't meet him for seven and a half years after graduation. Grandma and Grandpa Halter were 40 and 41. Super Aunt Becky was six years younger than I am now as was Uncle Joe I believe. Auntie Katie was in seventh grade and Uncle Kelly was 16. Lauryn was 4, your age, Baby Waider, and Brook wasn't even born yet. I had THREE grandparents who were alive. A lot can change in 20 years.

The past couple of years I've gone to graduation on my own due to napping kids and everyone having conflicting schedules. It's an amazing opportunity to people watch. A mother of a graduate is impossible to miss. They look frazzled, sad, happy, relieved, and lost all at exactly the same time. You can almost tell that they are aching for that moment when their child delivers the flower and a hug, yet dreading it at the same time. It's like at any given moment they could yell at you or burst into tears. One mom sitting in front of me really stood out. This morning I really connected with that mom when I discovered I've been out of high school for 20 years. I was equal parts excited and proud of making it this far in one piece and equal parts shocked about how in the world I even got here. I'm guessing while sitting at your own child's graduation you are equal parts proud that they made it through school, but also wondering how in the world they are walking across the stage when they were just in your arms. I've said it before, time is a funny thing. The days can be so slow, but those years are fast. In a short 14 and 16 years I'll be a teary-eyed extremely proud mom in the crowd and before you know it you will be 38 years old and wondering where in the world time has gone and how in the world you have been out of anywhere for 20 years. Let alone something that you left when you were 18 years old. 

Savor every moment in your life because it goes by. FAST!

Love, 

Mom 

Winner Chicken Dinner!

Dear Baby Waider + Little Brother Too, 

By all measures most South Dakotans would consider this past winter to have been mild. We had only one "blizzard" and it wasn't even too bad. We had a cold snap, but again, it didn't last too long. That being said we were able to go ice fishing as a family. Before your dad and I were married I retired from ice fishing. Cold + wind + ice=no fun! Fast forward about ten or eleven years and I have a daughter who LOVES ice fishing. Not only that, but a son who couldn't wait to start. So, this year I came out of retirement. It was all in all a great choice. We had a blast and ice fishing came naturally back to me! We had a terrific time. Probably my favorite time was when Benny and I headed out on a hike ourselves. He said, "Mama, you hold my hand." It pretty much was the sweetest thing ever. We hiked and just checked everything out. We also managed to just barely capture your first fish on the camera! 

The past few years dad has taken part in, and even won a couple of times, the boy scout's ice fishing tournament. This year Baby Waider -you were determined to partake in the tournament. You kept saying that you were going to win an ice house. What you didn't understand is that you didn't need an ice house because we have two from past tournaments, however, you were still excited. You was an instant hit with everyone at the tournament. You loved the donuts, hot chocolate, and hot dogs probably the most. You caught your own fish without any assistance from dad and as you say you are, "only four years old." Dad was able to keep us in pretty good contact so he let us know that you were looking like you were going to be the youth female winner, so Little Brother and I decided to ditch nap and head out to the lake to catch the awards. 

The weather was beautiful that day, 55 degrees and sunny. We got in a great hike and had a wonderful time. During lunch and the awards ceremony we were thrilled to discover that you won a hooded sweat shirt. You were excited just to win, but you were thrilled to beat your dad! The phrase you kept saying was, "I'm the winner chicken dinner!" We were pretty proud parents!

Love you both, 

Mama

Bedrock City

Dear Baby Waider + Little Brother Too,

Sometimes you meet someone who makes an impact on you for the most surprising reasons. I start up casual conversations with countless people. It's my thing. I am truly intrigued by peoples' stories. While at "The Flintstone Village" two years ago I met the man who drove the cars around a small track. He proudly gave us all the stats on the car. The first year we rode in Fred's car and the following year it was Barney's car. Both cars are built on the body of a Volkswagen Beetle, which I love! He knew the mileage and how many of those miles he had driven. He was completely joyful in his job despite how mundane it really seemed. He drove in a circle, the same circle, all day long, hauling tourists who probably asked him the same question everyday. After our initial meeting I didn't soon forget our friendly driver. He was so kind and excited. He loved the theme park and seemed genuinely proud to have been a part of the Flintstone's Village for so many years. Fast forward to 2015. We return to the little run down theme park for what may be our last time. Rumors had been circulating for a few years that for many reasons The Flintstone's Village would be closing permanently. After having several theme parks from Canada to Mexico the only remaining theme park was in Custer, South Dakota. It wasn't likely that they would be opening due to the high costs for the licensing rights. Plus, how many kids are into the Flintstones?

We went talked Grandma and Grandpa Halter into coming with us and I'm thinking it was there first trip to the notorious theme park. We went before the hysteria hit the streets and they announced their closing. It was a ghost town. A few nostalgic adults returned who had brought their now adult kids and some others with small kids who played on the 1980's treacherous play equipment. It was windy and almost eerie. The beautiful, mature aspen trees that rustled in the wind seemed to tell the tale of watching kids run and play for nearly 50 years. The buildings with decades of caked on paint and scenes that had been staged years ago stood in solidarity. The deteriorating theater played episodes of the show on repeat while an odor of mold surrounded the viewers. The smell of freshly popped popcorn tried to overcome the smell without success. We chugged along on the mini-train that toured the park. The day felt bittersweet and I couldn't quite put my finger on it. This wasn't a place of importance to my childhood, as I said, I had only been there once before. I had only taken my children there one time so it wasn't something I associated with my own kids. Finally, last night, it came to me. It wasn't the place that has stuck with me this whole, time, but the person. 

The man who drove the vehicles has stuck with me for nearly five months after we rode with him. When we were wrapping up our final trip around the oval he had driven countless times I asked him if he was sad that the Flintstones Village was closing. I think I expected him to be devastated because I handle anything ending so poorly. Anyone who knows me can verify that. The end of any vacation, *sometimes the end of the school year, the end of high school, end of college, the end of the show Brothers & Sisters, and pretty much the end of any show. I don't like ends. I'm more of a beginning type gal. Approaching endings make me incredibly anxious. Even ends that result in a happy beginning bring me lots of tears and turmoil. For example, I spent much of the evening before having Little Brother crying because it was the last time we would be a family of 3! Completely ridiculous! A family of 4 is way better and I've never been sad about not being a family of 3. 

The man's response was so wise that it is no wonder I refer back to it all the time. His response was, "Well...Yes and no, but mostly no because everything has an end." Then he looked at me and flashed the friendliest smile. So I knew he meant it. On top of not loving ends I also don't love the changing of my babies. Most recently I've battled with Little Brother's clothes not being baby clothes anymore. He doesn't wear 24 months, now he wears 2T. Since both of my "babies" are now toddlers they wear the T clothes. It was a tough blow that caught me off guard. I didn't expect that to be sad. I was sad once my babies went off the bottle, and I'm also seeing that our need for sippy cups is dwindling. Items like high chairs that seemed essential for so long have been in the basement for months. Little Brother is still in a crib, but really for how long? Baby Waider is so grown up it is inconceivable. Crawling, walking, playing patty cake, and talking are skills that are mastered in this house. 

I find that I'm doing much better with all of this because when I start getting near and end and start getting all teary I think back to my friend's words, "Everything has an end." While it is incredibly sad, it is inevitable. My thinking of this person doesn't end here. I also think about how much he enjoyed his work. Even though to others it could be conceived as mundane or boring. He probably wasn't sad that it was over because he enjoyed every moment of it he could. I am doing the same with you. I am coloring to no end and making a ton of play dough cookies. I am reading books about sharks and working on lots of puzzles. Mundane? Maybe. Will it end? Absolutely. Just like everything it will end and before I know it coloring, puzzles, and play dough will end. The advice that my friend left out or didn't have the opportunity to mention was that with every end is a new beginning. I never want anything to end, but most of the time I am completely thrilled with what begins, and in turn do not want it to end. 

This story that is probably long and drawn out so here are the big takeaways I have for you. 1. Talk to strangers. (not the creepy kind.) 2. Listen to old people. 3. Enjoy everything because even if it is or seems boring- 4. Everything has an end. Good and bad. 

I wish I knew where I could find that guy and thank him for his advice. So I guess I have a fifth takeaway. 5. You never know when you will make a difference in someone's life. 

The smile on that guy says it all! 

Such a neat place. I'm glad I went. 

Love Always, 

Your overly sentimental Mama.