Rocky Mountain High

Dear Baby Waider + Little Brother Too,

*I realized that I never published this entry! This trip was from July 2016. WE return to the Rocky Mountains July 2017 as well.*

A couple of weeks ago we went on a most outstanding adventure to the Rocky Mountains. It wasn't our first big vacation as a family of four as we did that in 2014 when we went to visit Jay and Jeremy in Omaha. It was our first camping trip deep in the mountains, however. For as long as I can remember I've loved being outside. I've always loved a little adventure and some travel. When I was a kid Grandma and Grandpa Halter always had us doing something. Picnicking, hiking, fishing, or sight seeing pretty much every weekend. One of my favorite and most memorable vacations was to Yellowstone National Park. We got to experience all of the grandeur on that trip and I was instantly hooked on the national park system. The older I got the more I grew to love being in the woods. I've told many stories about working deep in Custer State Park as a waitress at the Blue Bell Lodge. Following my first year of teaching Auntie and I took an amazing cross country trip to California and Mexico including Yosemite National Park, Sequoia National Forest, The Redwood National State Park. The following summer we worked by the Snowy Mountains. During that time we did hundreds of awesome hikes. Throughout all of these experiences I always thought in the back of my mind how nice it would be to camp in these places. In fact in Yosemite we were at a store in the park (translate=super high prices) and we looked at buying some camping gear. Determining that it was just too expensive to start camping on a whim I kept it in the back of my mind as a possibility for some day... Plus I'm not too sure Auntie was too into the idea of tent camping.

So you get the idea that I had always been interested in camping and wondered if I actually had what it takes to be a camper. Enter your dad. A real live mountain man with the Eagle Scout badge to prove it. He had a tent and all of the necessary gear to make my camping dreams a reality. We went first to Pactola, then the Big Horns, and finally the Snowy Mountains. I liked camping. Don't get me wrong. It just wasn't the magical experience I was hoping for. Tents don't offer much protection and I remember the very moment I retired from it. We were in the Snowy Mountains in mid August. Summer everywhere else in the entire world. However, in the middle of the night it started snowing, hard, and I woke up freezing. I couldn't get warm so I started crying. A. LOT. Like I couldn't quit crying. I finally warmed up and at that moment I believe I said that the next time I went camping it will be in a camper. 

After two years of searching we were fortunate enough to find the perfect camper. We drove nearly to Canada to pick it up and then went into Canada to camp. We traveled most of that summer and camped all over the place. We loved our camper! The next summer I was pregnant with Baby Waider and rarely left the house. 

We couldn't wait to take Baby Waider camping, but your first summer was MISERABLE. We took a trip to Cousin Jennifer's wedding and it was so incredibly hot we had little desire to go camping ever again. We also went on one short trip to the Game Lodge Campground but again it was so hot we couldn't do anything. 

The following summer was a disaster. Dad broke his ankle and I was pregnant with Little Brother. We ended up going on one camping trip to Mobridge which was really terrific. The next summer we were able to go a little bit more, but stayed pretty close to home. We went to Custer State Park constantly, but also had the opportunity to go to Omaha, Nebraska. I was a complete wreck the entire trip with a baby and a three year old. We went to the Zoo and again, it was pretty hot so it made it tough to do too much. 

When Little Brother was born my good friend JoLisa Hoover suggested that we try to travel to all fifty states before both of you graduate. I am so excited to make this dream a reality. I decide to add the idea of going to all of the national parks as well. The natural start was to go to the Rocky Mountains in Colorado. Dad is from Colorado and that's where Grandpa Marker and Mary live. The result was pretty much pure magic. The Rocky Mountains were such a fun place for both of you to explore and enjoy. You hiked like little troopers and you even got to earn some badges. They were having a discovery days where you were able to do a ton of fun activities. You also became junior rangers. We loved Estes Park and found lots of fun things to do there, but by far Baby Waider's favorite store was the Hallmark Store. The candy store was fun too and walking around Estes was a blast. 

There is something about camping wayyy in the wilderness. Where there are bears and tall trees. We just loved our time there and extended our trip. We almost immediately decided to plan a next year's trip there as well. One of your favorite songs to sing is "Rocky Mountain High." I love it because like John Denver I think that the Rocky Mountains are the cat's pajamas. Below you will find some photos of the trip that are also immortalized in magnets, pictures, and a photo book. 

Love,

Mom 

P.S. I just finished this two weeks before we return to the Rocky Mountains this year

!

Doin' Something Right!

Dear Baby Waider + Little Brother Too,

If you decide to become a parent you will inevitably find that it is a tough, tough job. Most of the time you feel like you are failing at best. I often feel like I spend a good majority of my time being frustrated, annoyed, and naggy. Yesterday, however, I had a moment, actually more than a moment, a whole morning of glee! We took a quick trip to Custer State Park. Arguably my favorite place in the world. I was delighted when Little Brother asked if we could go to Custer State Park. The day was beautiful and I knew we would see lots of buffalo calves. So often I feel like I can't say yes to an impromptu trip anywhere. "We have too much to do" is often the first phrase out of my mouth. Yesterday was different. Your dad did have too much to do so we decided to leave him behind and go on an adventure. First parenting win. Going on an adventure. 

Our first stop was at the gift shop. If I've done nothing with my life I've passed on my love of a good gift shop to both of you. The Coolidge Store is probably one of the best around in my opinion. I couldn't resist your excitement and let you both impulse buy buffalo souvenirs. That probably shouldn't count as a win, but it could count as a time I didn't immediately say no. 

We carried on to Heddy Draw which is a beautiful place to see Black Elk Peak and Cathedral Spires. We went on a small hike and enjoyed the sites. We also climbed some rocks and it was just cool to see how excited you were about just being outside. You observed rocks, plants, and loved the tall Ponderosa Pines. It was in that moment that I realized I have done something right. I've passed along my love of nature and all things outdoors to both of you. I along with your dad have always treasured hiking, biking, camping, and just being in the forest. Nothing will help you find your center more than a trip to vast group of trees in bright sunshine. Yesterday was such an awesome opportunity to reset and refocus before taking on the last 15 days of the school year. 

After Heddy Draw we proceeded onto the "You Might See Wildlife Loop." I call it that because when I worked at Blue Bell Lodge disgruntled tourists would come in and say, "We went on that wildlife loop and didn't see anything!" They were outraged. So that's why I changed the name. We DID see wildlife fortunately. We saw thousands of buffalo, and many with their babies.We watched them run, play, and nurse from their mamas. It was really delightful. It really is a simple, yet totally magnificent thing all at the same time. I was so happy that you found watching the buffs as entertaining as I did. 

We jammed out with the moon roof open to some excellent tunes all singing at the top of our lungs. Never underestimate the power of doing that because you will never feel sad when engaging in this activity.It will leave you feeling invigorated and ready to tackle anything. 

Our fabulous morning wrapped up with a picnic at the new visitor's center picnic area. It was gorgeous even if Little Brother spilled his entire lunch and I had to give him my Lunchable. Baby Waider also twisted her ankle and totally biffed it, but she most importantly got back up and kept on walking. 

I may be failing some days, but yesterday I realized that somewhere I must be doing something right. You kids love to hike, be in the forest, observe animals at safe distances, sing your heart out with all the windows open while on a beautiful drive, and can also enjoy a good gift shop. What a fun memory we made!

Love Always, 

Mama

Tribute to our Old Tree

Dear Baby Waider + Little Brother Too, 

First I know that a person could receive much much worse news than I did today. That being said, I am still sad and mad. 

My parting words to  our realtor after we sold our house were short and simple. I said, "Tell Patrick to take care of my tree. It is a good tree and it was very loved." Of all the reasons I didn't want to move the tree was at the top of that list. I adored that tree. It was such a part of my life. As strange as it sounds I felt an immense and strong connection to that tree. It was breathtakingly beautiful. I loved it every single season and not one day went by that I didn't admire it. Because we loved and cared for the tree so greatly you both also loved the tree. Mia logged hours sprawled out under the generous canopy in its dense shade and Super sharpened many claws on it. Countless blue jays would dive bomb Super from the highest branches and a little robin family spent countless summers high enough to keep Super at bay. We even had a squirrel in it for awhile. Baby Waider even made a bird house to hang in it.This doesn't even begin to acknowledge the hours both kids spent swinging in the Fisher Price swing for hours on end. The dancing that Baby Waider did under it, and all the time Little Brother would race around its amazing trunk. 

Summertime was when the tree looked its best. The two of you would run and play under the tree in the cool grass. You would grab at the branches and pull down bunches of leaves and I would constantly be stopping you, reminding you we must be nice to the tree! We would put the slide under the tree so it would keep you cool as you toddled up the little steps and then slid down the slide. We also put the pool under there to protect you from the sun and give the tree an extra drink. Last summer you spent hours in a hammock under the tree. There was no better sound than the breeze fluttering through the trees or the wooshing sound it made as a thunderstorm was blowing in. 

During the fall the tree turned the most glorious gold you've ever seen. I thankfully took plenty of pictures of it. Once the tree dropped its leaves we would spend hours raking them up, and jumping in the piles. We even collected the leaves and made leaf man out of them! 

Wintertime the frost would cover the branches and it would look so glorious against the bright blue sky or the dark grey clouds. When we would shovel the extra long driveway we would pile the snow around the trunk of the tree to give it a little extra drink. 

Springtime was by far my favorite. The leaves came out slowly at first. They would just be little green spots. Then one day, usually close to the end of the school year I would come home and it would be full of vivid, bright, full green leaves. Your dad spent hours trimming the tree and even had to bolt some branches in after they'd fallen off. I wish I could find a picture of him with the gigantic ladder tending to the tree, but I'm not sure I took one. 

Today I was informed that the person who bought our old house on Rosilee LN cut down our tree. Initially I didn't believe it because HOW COULD HE CUT DOWN THAT TREE??? It was amazing. I had to text our former neighbor Susan to confirm, which she did. It was the beautiful tree he cut down. I was devastated when one of my students quietly asked, "But, Mrs. Waider, it isn't your tree anymore?" He was right. It wasn't my tree anymore. Truthfully, I never wanted to leave that tree. 

The only other day that I cried this much over the tree was during the October Blizzard Atlas. In many ways I wish we would have lost it then. It seems like a more humane way to go than watching the family who loved it leave it behind with someone who held no regard for it. 

After the blizzard...

Today I've been trying to figure out why I'm so very upset by the loss of this tree I don't own anymore. I know that Grandma Halter is a tree lover and if you really want to fire her up you cut down a tree. Super Aunt Becky also adores her trees in her yard and I know she was very sad when she lost some to the blizzard. So maybe it's genetics. I also feel like that tree was the backdrop for our life for so many years. It was near our living room window so it peaked in on family dinners. I could probably see it out of the corner of my eye when you kids were learning to walk. It watched me move in, it saw us bring Mia home, and our two babies. It could peak in the window and see countless Christmases and birthday parties. It was always watching us as we pulled into the driveway. It was what welcomed us home. It was the backdrop of our lives. That's why I'm so devastated. 

I've recently heard dad ask you two, "What lesson did we learn from this?" I have started asking my students this as well as you two because it seems like a good way to wrap up a not so good situation. What did I learn from this? I learned that  not everyone sees value in the same things I do. To me nature is invaluable. A tree that has spent the past 40 years growing is a treasure to this world.  It seems more and more apparent in all facets of this country and the world that we don't place value on things that are really important. To Patrick that tree was a nuisance, but to me that tree was everything. I hold only happy memories associated with it. Before I left that house and drove away for the last time I hugged the tree, thanked it for it's shade, and told it I loved it. I sure hope that it really knew. 

*UPDATE!*

Nearly immediately after I finished this blog we heard from our neighbor Susan that she would hook us up with a branch of the tree so that we could TRY to get part of it to root and possibly grow another tree out of the tree we left behind. Thanks to Susan and a couple of other angels we have now attempted to grow little tiny trees. Also, we are using its branches as decor around the house. When I initially laid eyes on the branches from our trees with the springtime, mini, light-green leaves on it I was completely overwhelmed with emotions. At the same time it smelled just as I remembered it and both dad and I felt an instant comfort by its presence. Yesterday as I reflected more on the tree I was reminded that it wasn't just a great tree we left behind in our old neighborhood, but great people. Susan was instantly ready to help us when we needed it and had that tree branch to our house as quickly as she could. We are so lucky to have her in our lives. The other couple of angels worked pretty quickly too. Anyway... I hope that when you are reading this blog in 2037 we have a gorgeous, full, beautiful tree that we can admire and look at just as we did the old one. 

Love Always, 

Mama 

I found this prayer and it felt appropriate: 

Creator God,

Out of chaos you brought order.

Out of nothingness you brought life.

In the middle of all life stands the tree.

Trees provide the air that nurtures all your creation.

Birds make them their homes.

Cats climb them for protection.

Trees recycle life that has come before.

Bless the trees of this word, loving God.

Remind us to serve as their caregivers and protectors.

Give them long limbs and long life.

The gift of their breath is as special to us as the breath of the Holy Spirit.

Amen.

Milestones

Dear Baby Waider + Little Brother Too, 

*This blog was started three weeks ago and I'm just now getting to finish it! GEESH!

Finally, a THREE DAY WEEKEND!!! No plans, THREE WHOLE DAYS with no expectations. Just hopes of nice weather, maybe a walk or two, relaxing outside, playing, coloring, and just being. I've been ridiculously excited for this weekend because it seems with each passing day we are more and more settled into our new house and we are loving it. Both of you adore the yard, having your swing set back, being able to ride bikes on sidewalks, and having neighborhood friends. 

Something that hasn't been lost on me for my entire life is the reality of milestones. Some happy, others terrifying, while others are darn right sad. For example, the milestone of you sleeping through the night was blissful, while the last bottle I fed you was pretty tragic and sad. Your first steps were exhilarating, but throwing away the pacifiers was devastating. (Okay, yes, I know there are still two pacifiers in the buffet. One glows in the dark. I could get rid of them, but they take up hardly any space.) The final container of formula was fantastic, but with each tiny outfit I bagged up I shed numerous tears. Recently your dad and I were at Sam's Club and we had arrived to the giant boxes of diapers. Little Brother had been showing major potty training interest. This is huge because potty training brings about the same disgust that birds and ketchup brings out in me. Thankfully dad and grandma took over in the potty graining department and it went pretty smoothly. Anyway as we were standing by the diapers I asked, "Should I grab ONE MORE box?" To which dad said, "I think we're good. We've got this." Your mom is a big cryer as you've discovered by this point. But I didn't shed one tear over not buying diapers anymore.

Little Brother has spent lots of time being a self proclaimed "big boy" for months now, but with the potty training seemingly under his belt I'd say it's official. Other little things have happened around here as well. Baby Waider is mastering writing her name. Signing 12 of her very own valentines. She's also able to count objects to ten and we all four enjoy playing board games on a regular basis. The current favorite being Sequence Kids, but we also dabble in the game Trouble. We also just rode bikes to the park that is almost a mile away. I find it amazing how much both of you are growing and changing everyday. 

I love you both very much and am very proud of you.

Love, 

MAMA

Bye, Bye, Obama...Rambling on Inauguration Eve

Dear Baby Waider + Little Brother Too,


Those who know me well would have a hard time denying that I have a flair for the dramatic, I tend to have bouts with extreme thinking, and also fixate on things. These are all true about your dear old mom. I'm also fiercely passionate and try to stick to my convictions. The past two months have been difficult for me because I am simply devastated over Trump being elected as the next President of the United States. I can't move on. I keep thinking today about how excited I would be to watch Hilary Clinton, the first woman, to be elected president. 


Depending on when you are reading this blog you may or may not know what the world was like in January of 2017. We are in the thick of social media ruling our lives. Information travels at lightening fast speeds. We are networked with people who we know and love so tightly that it seems like we are constantly in a crowded room. Due to this election and social media, something I've typically loved, has created a great space for disgust and shame. I've deleted "friends" and hid people I had tremendous respect for. Many people think how I am managing my social media is wrong and that politics shouldn't get in the way of friendships or family, but I am beginning to disagree. After all, I really see this election as a moral decision. If you are really bored you can google some of the things that were said and done during the election and decide for yourself if you could still respect someone who supported him. I can get along with and work with people who I disagree with. We live in South Dakota so we have to, but I don't have to be personal friends with people who align with that type of thinking and I definitely don't have to open my Facebook page to them. Specifically people who only want to pick fights and argue with me at every turn. 

I came home and watched the nightly news tonight. Something that I used to love during the Obama early days. I'd love to check in and see footage of what was going on for the day. Tonight I decided that it will likely be the last time I watch the nightly news for awhile. I watched snippets showing Obama's greatest moments or special moments and I cried. You are both extremely used to watching me cry while watching TV. I can't help it. I'm just so sad. Baby Waider, you, particularly have become very outspoken about Trump and dislike him right along with me. Probably because you are just regurgitating what I say! 

This election has rocked me to my core. In 2008 prior to Obama winning I was completely disillusioned by the political system. It was a place where a collective group of rich kids convened to make decisions that impacted our lives. Once Obama came into the picture I really felt that we all had hope. Somehow he made it possible for anyone to be president. He wasn't rich. He wasn't entitled. He certainly wasn't the "normal" old white guy face that we are used to seeing in our political system. He gave me hope in the American dream for MY generation. That really anyone could be successful. It was after Obama was elected that I decided we MIGHT have a country worthy of bringing children into. 

Tonight as I was putting stuff away I randomly found a t shirt. I got it at sometime during the Obama campaign. It said, "One voice can change the world." I wanted to put it on, but I was just too sad. The words almost seem hollow and impossible now. Like a giant foot has stomped on any and all good that was accomplished during the past 8 years.

I'm not naive enough to think that the Obama years were perfect because they weren't But what I do know is that the Obama years were significantly better than the Bush years and undoubtedly what is yet to come. It's not so much what Obama did or did not do while in office. Rather, it is that Obama didn't do anything to intentionally hurt anyone during his terms. He showed us that nice guys don't always finish last. That it is okay to laugh at yourself and smile sometimes. That even if people treat you like total crap you can take the high road and turn the other cheek. He welcomed critics and engaged those who he could have totally ignored. He showed us emotions like passion, love, and sadness. He was a real person who led us with the utmost dignity and class. You will not likely have any real memories of Barack Obama, but you will live through YEARS of enduring your parents telling stories of his time as president. 

It is no lie that I feel totally invested in Barack Obama personally. I worked for his campaign here in South Dakota when he was running against Hillary Clinton in 2008. I also got to meet, hug, and tell him the story of the Obama snow sculpture. I also made calls to Ohio during the general election(which if Ohio is still a swing state and campaigns are your thing totally make calls to Ohio during a general election. It is fascinating.) I was a cabinet member or appointee to the Department of Education in 2009-2010. I was a huge fangirl the rest of the time.  

Sigh, I'm going to bed tonight not knowing what tomorrow will bring. It is more than likely that we will all be just fine and in 4 years I will be celebrating the inauguration of President Joe Biden. However, part of me is terrified. I feel like I'm about to board a massive jet with a pilot who has never even flown a crop duster or even a remote control plane for that matter. Not only that, but I have my two tiny children in tow. The ones I brought into this world during a time of hope and change. I never bargained for a time of fear and terror. I keep refreshing my news apps and Facebook feed hoping and praying that some scandal will shut this whole mess down. That this white, male, billionaire's club is not about to take over our country. Alas, it IS happening. We are going to have an incredibly unpopular and unqualified person as our 45th president. And there is nothing I can do about it. Perhaps what is most devastatingly sad is not that he was elected our president, but that he was even given the space to do so. The fact that I am raising my children in world where a good number of people thought any of this was okay is probably what is making me the saddest tonight. 

I will close with what I've been saying over and over for the past two months. I can't believe this happened. How did this happen?  

Love, 

Your terrified and sad mama

Waiting

Dear Baby Waider+Little Brother Too,

This morning Baby Waider had her tonsils out and tubes put in. We've been waiting for this surgery for awhile. When you doesn't have tubes you are in almost a constant state of ear infection. Paired with the fact that you snore like an old man it is a good thing that they took out your tonsils. Initially you went to the hospital on Black Friday to have the procedure done. The hospital was horrible. Luckily, and I do believe we were lucky, that you had a fever that day and surgery was postponed until you were healthy. The hospital was awful. The nurse told you you would be in a lot of pain. A phrase which you took with you to this surgery, but you were brave. She also had a variety of other terrifying things to say that day I've permanently removed from my mind.  The anesthesiologist didn't even know what procedure you were having done and neither did the pre-op nurses. We had to correct them several times and dad had to ask google to convert your temperature from C to F for the anesthesiologist.   It was similar to watching a circus act with clowns trying to be doctors and nurses. I was never more thankful than when the doctor came to the waiting room and said that you were too sick for surgery.     

The past three weeks since that day have been horrifically busy and annoyingly stressful. We successfully sold the house on Rosilee LN and moved to Cognac CT. The house is pretty terrific but different. I hate change so it's been an adjustment. Moving is grueling and annoying hard work. By the grace of God we had two snow days and Grandma Halter to help us pack or we still may not be moved.  We hired movers for the big stuff but on moving day Grandpa Marker and Mary were totally invaluable. I'm pretty sure Mary had the worst packing experience but during the process she found our marriage license which was a good reminder for the entire weekend. Super Uncle Joe and Grandma Halter were also helpful and I almost immediately regretted hiring the movers for a Friday when everyone was working. We were lucky again to have the last warm days of the fall for us to move. Grandpa Halter, Super Aunt Becky, Aunties Katie and April helped unpack. Dad had to move the final stuff in sub-zero temperatures. It has been a journey and I hope that we are settled for awhile now. The new house looks like a perpetual rummage sale and likely will until it warms up enough to situate things. 


Waiting. We've been  waiting for a couple of hours for you to wake up and walk now. It's been a rare time of total silence. Your dad and I both sitting by your side as you still snore (supposedly you will until the swelling goes down). Waiting had given me a good chance to do some thinking, which  I really haven't had the chance to do for awhile. Just a quiet room and a comfy chair has given me the chance to realize the remarkable amount we've accomplished in the past eight months. I'm equal parts amazed and equal parts sad. Every minute we spent on moving were minutes not spent with both of you. In many ways you were waiting to have your parents back. Fortunately for you you have amazing grandparents who took you much of the time and made the experience much more positive. Once our house was listed we waited for it to sell. Once it sold we waited to find a house. Then we waited to move in. Waiting...waiting...waiting. In between the waiting I'm certain we had fun but it sure just seemed like stress. 

During these past eight months I've been completely and totally stressed. It never pays to be a worrier and that's exactly what I am. So I hope you can find it in your hearts to forgive me for being a less than awesome mom the past few months. It was hopefully the means to a greater end. I love you both and can hardly wait for some fun over Christmas Break. Once you heal, Baby Waider, I'm convinced that we will be back to having fun in no time. 

Love, 
Mom 

Historic Vote

Dear Baby Waider + Little Brother Too,

One of the greatest inventions of modern time is the Timehop app. Today I was reminded of November 6, 2012. The election for Barack Obama's second term. You will likely read through these and think that your parents were obsessed with Barack Obama and that would actually be a fact. As you've read previously we actually met him and have his autograph that you will see again if we ever get moved and get our photographs hung up. Anyway, elections get me impassioned, angry, and right before they happen nervous. I've always been super involved and opinionated probably to a fault. I've been having a day of indulging in the polls and reading all articles pertaining to the election and election stats when I looked at these adorable pictures on my memories from today. 

Seeing those pictures made me feel worried. I know you are probably thinking, worried? These are adorable pictures, but it is so much more than that. Seeing the picture and reading my blog from four years ago reminded me of a time when we had a fantastic candidate for president that I LOVED. I was still hopeful back then and so proud to have a president that had so much dignity, grace, and charism. President Obama and his wife are excellent role models that show what hard work, perseverance, and courage in the face of adversity really looks like. Here I am. Off on another Obama tangent. My point in talking about this again is that three years before you were born we had the 2008 election. That election was Hilary Clinton running against Barack Obama for the Democratic nomination. Needless to say that my obsession with Barack Obama was not any less back then. I actually campaigned for Obama, which included making calls to Ohio and other battle ground states during the primaries. I was not a Hilary fan back then. *However, I also got her signature while she was here and she was very nice to us. Also, side note, your dad like Clinton before he liked Obama in the primaries. Sorry. Back to my point. My point in all of this is that fast forward eight years. The nominee for the Democrats is Hilary Clinton. I had a hard time getting over that election in 2008. Pair that with being a mom of two and having two jobs AND SELLING MY HOUSE AND BUYING ANOTHER ONE I haven't been as involved with this election. I support Clinton, but not as whole-heartedly as I would like. Grandma Halter pointed out that Barack Obama got over the 2008 election and actually put her in his cabinet so I need to move on too. I think what hit me today is that its not that I am not excited for Hillary Clinton to be president. It's just that I am sadder for Barack Obama to leave office. You know, my previous post, I hate change. Which is actually ironic because Barack Obama's entire campaign was centered around change. 

We face another historic election Tuesday. This time I am going to be voting for the first female president. Which is super exciting. When you wake up on Wednesday morning you might be a part of a world where a woman really can do anything in this country. The alternative...well...it's terrifying. 

There is a man running against Hilary Clinton who happens to be a joke of a candidate. I say a joke because I feel like it can't be serious that he's a candidate. I've spent the past few months waiting for something to happen where it isn't true that he is the candidate, but it seems like he's a bad dream that keeps happening over and over again. The polls are tight and I'm terrified. I can't imagine a world where Donald Trump is the president. He's an awful, pompous, sickening individual who takes advantage of people, makes fun of disabled people, and feels that it is his entitled right to do whatever he wants to women. He's disgusting. When he's on TV we have to turn it off because he says such inappropriate things that scary, untrue, or hurtful. 

Hands down this is the nastiest election I've ever seen. The country is truly divided. Perhaps the most maddening claim is people saying, "I don't like either candidate. It's like choosing between two evils." Not true. I want you to know that Hillary Clinton does not touch the evil that is Donald Trump. On Tuesday we will vote as a family. I envision that one of you will go with dad and one of you will go with me. We will cast our vote with you in our mind and hearts. I often tell people that Barack Obama is the reason that we had children. We believed that he would create a country that was a better place than when he entered office, which he did. Your dad and I will be voting and keeping in mind a few reasons why we are casting our historic vote. Although my vote has nothing to do with Clinton being a woman it has everything to do with her sharing a vision with me for the future for my children. 

I just have to make one more point. I haven't ever been wild about the policies of our Republican presidents. I whole-heartedly disagreed with 98% of what George W. Bush did while he was in office. But he seemed like a nice enough guy and someone you could probably get a drink with. I would not ever want to be in the same room as Donald Trump. His character and actions are so deplorable that I cannot fathom why anyone supports him. Quite frankly it's embarrassing and the fact that he's the nominee makes me scared for this nation. The fact that the polls are this close makes it even more terrifying. 

I'm hoping for a BIG WIN for Clinton on Tuesday. She really is the most qualified for this job. Lastly, today during the 100 political shows and posts I read Obama stands out the most. I'm paraphrasing here but he said something like, "Not every decision you make is an inspired decision. Just because Hilary Clinton doesn't inspire you isn't a reason for not voting for her. Sometimes you just have to do the right thing. Voting for Clinton is the right thing." Of course I completely agreed with him. So on Tuesday, our family will do the right thing. In four years maybe I'll be writing a blog about how great the Clinton presidency was! We can hope, right?

Love always, 

Mom